FIRST PERSON | In June, New York became the sixth state to allow same-sex marriage (joining Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Iowa, Connecticut and Vermont, along with the District of Columbia) when its state senate passed the Marriage Equality Act by a vote of 33-29, paving the way for gay and lesbian couples to legally honor their commitment to one another.
On Sunday, New York will start marrying gay couples. As a native of New York, I am thrilled. As a resident of Colorado, I could only dream of the possibility of being legally married in the state in which I live and pay taxes.
My partner, Jane, and I have been together for nearly 24 years. On Oct. 21, 2010, we drove from Colorado to Council Bluffs, Iowa, to be legally married. Jane was a Wisconsin native, and she and I had both lived in Minnesota for a number of years before we moved to Colorado, so we thought it fitting to get married in the Midwest.
We chose to do so on our 23rd anniversary. It seemed perfect that we legally honor our love and our life-long commitment on a day we had long ago chosen to signify our anniversary. Berna and Noreen, two friends from Albuquerque, N.M., who had been married in California during the brief time when it was still legal, flew into Omaha, Neb., to be our witnesses. We picked them up at the airport and drove to our hotel, just across the Missouri River in Council Bluffs. Later that evening, we enjoyed a "rehearsal dinner" celebration at an Italian restaurant in Omaha and Berna and Noreen bought us roses for our bridal bouquets.
The following morning, the four of us drove to the Pottawattamie County courthouse to complete the paperwork and stand before a judge to be married. En route, we spontaneously broke into a rousing rendition of "Going to the Chapel." To say that we were elated would be an understatement.
It was tough to contain our joy and our nervousness. We were getting legally married. Finally.
The judge entered the chambers, and we stood eye to eye, exchanging or vows; we were so moved that we could barely get the words out. Tears of joy filled our eyes. And tears were shed because, at long last, after 23 years, we were able to be legally married (somewhere) in our own country. That fact did not detract from the beauty of the moment, but it did make it more poignant. We were no longer second-class citizens -- in Iowa at least.
The irony is that after we said "I do" and completed the paperwork, we left the courthouse for a celebratory lunch at a lovely restaurant in Omaha. That one small act of crossing the Missouri River erased the interstate legality of our marriage, although we paid no mind to that legal loophole. How strange that we could be legally married in Iowa but not in neighboring Nebraska, or even back home in Colorado.
At the restaurant, we asked the hostess for a good table, announcing to her that we had just gotten married. We told our waiter, too. Unabashedly, we ordered prosecco and toasted our legal union, then we dined on delicious sushi with our dear friends.
Our wedding day was as memorable as we had always dreamed it would be.
New York's recent decision to allow same-sex marriage gives us faith that, perhaps, one day Colorado will join the ranks of states recognizing marriage equality. Until then, hats off to the trailblazers: Iowa, New York, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont, and D.C.
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