Do you love those insanely popular Hallmark Christmas movies? Do you perhaps just like them? Or do you outright despise them?
Either way, the “Deck the Hallmark” podcast has your back. Since 2018. Greenville, SC–based dads and best pals Brandon Gray (loves), Daniel “Panda” Pandolph (likes), and Daniel “Grumpy Dan” Thompson (despises) have been sharing their thoughts about these holiday juggernauts, calling out Christmas feels and ridiculously fake snow with equal enthusiasm.
The podcast hit a million downloads in its first hear, it’s been featured on “Good Morning America,” and now it’s the subject of a new book, “I’ll Be Home for Christmas Movies” (Running Press), co-written by Bran, Panda, and Dan, with TheWrap’s Film Reviews Editor, Alonso Duralde. “I’ll Be Home” contains the show’s reviews of 116 Christmas movies, as well as recipes for throwing your own Hallmark-watching party, a bingo card of favorite Hallmark tropes, and a brief history of Hallmark and Christmas TV, going all the way back to the 1950s.
Here’s a sample of some of the show’s funniest and most memorable quips (from the hosts as well as some of their celebrity guests) about cable TV’s favorite small-town, cookie-baking, tree-lighting, community-center–saving Christmas movies:
“Christmas at Dollywood” (2019)
Danica McKellar stars as a New York City event planner who falls in love with theme-park manager Niall Matter when she comes home to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, for Christmas. “Deck the Hallmark” guest Justin Kirkland (Esquire.com, “My Year With Dolly” podcast) knows the layout of Dollywood well enough to raise a few red flags when McKellar sprints across the park in the last act:
“I have, as quite a rotund child, made that run from Show Street all the way up to Glacier Ridge, which is right next to Thunderhead. That is a solid 15-minute walk, 10-minute run, and unless Danica is doing double-time on her Peloton, I don’t think that she could have made that run in heels without being totally winded at the end.”