100 questions to ask your girlfriend, from serious to sweet ideas

We’ve all been there: You’re talking to someone new, someone special — and the conversation suddenly grinds to an awkward halt. How can you keep them from saying, “Well, it’s been nice chatting with you, but…”?

Then there’s the dread that comes with sitting down for a serious talk with your long-term partner, and you want to frame your questions just right. Or, maybe you’re feeling super solid and you want to throw them a cute question that will put both of you in a lovey mood. Something as easy as, “What’s your favorite date we’ve ever been on?”

No matter what you’re feeling, if you’re here, it’s a signal that you’re still curious about your partner, and that’s great, because “curiosity is the spice of a lively relationship, whether you’ve known someone for two months or 20 years,” says Angela Amias, LCSW, a psychotherapist based in Cheyenne, WY.

On the other hand, curiosity about your partner can wane over time. “The longer you’re with someone, the more they start putting you in this box and assume that they already know you,” says Avigail Lev, Psy.D., director of the Bay Area CBT Center. “Regardless of how well you think you know your partner, you can always get to know them better.”

Amias agrees. “One of the mistakes we tend to make in long-term relationships is assuming we know everything about the other person, when in reality, there’s always more we can discover,” she says. “Part of the magic of new relationships is that we have so many questions for the other person.” So, let’s keep that magic going, wherever you are in your relationship right now. Try asking any of the 100 questions below, from casual to contemplative.

Questions to ask your new girlfriend

For early relationships or if you’re just in a discussion rut, try these questions to get the ball rolling.

• What’s an interesting article you’ve read recently?

• What’s a dream destination of yours for an upcoming vacation?

• What’s the weirdest thing to happen to you this month?

• What’s your favorite book of all time?

• What does your perfect Saturday look like?

• If you could have a superpower, what would it be?

• What’s the most unusual talent of yours?

• If you could master any skill overnight, what would it be?

• What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve done recently?

• If you could switch lives with a TV character for a day, who would you choose?

• What musician would you have coffee with if you could?

• Do you remember any interesting dreams lately?

• If you won the lottery today, what would be the first thing you buy?

• What’s your favorite spot in your home?

• Do you enjoy any food combinations that most people would think are weird?

• What non-profit would you create if you could snap your fingers and start any kind of charitable organization you want?

• What’s your favorite podcast these days?

• What’s the last interesting meal you cooked?

• What’s something everyone else seems to be obsessed with right now, but you don’t get the hype?

• What’s one thing that happened this week that made you smile?

Serious questions to ask your girlfriend

Strengthening your bond through meaningful conversation is important. Here are some deep questions you can ask your girlfriend to get to know her better.

• What can I do to support you when you’re feeling stressed or down?

• What do you hope your life looks like a year from now?

• What mistakes have you learned from previous relationships?

• Is there anything I don’t know about you yet that you think is important to share?

• Are there any day-to-day interactions or topics that can be triggering for you?

• Do you think we spend the right amount of time together?

• Where do you see our relationship going long-term?

• What values are most important to you?

• What’s your love language?

• How do you think you react when fighting with a significant other?

• Do you hope to get married one day?

• Do you hope to have a child or children one day?

• How have your own parents influenced your view on relationships?

• When do you think you’ll be ready to introduce me to your family and important loved ones?

• What’s an ideal timeline for you when it comes to moving in together?

• Are there any goals you think we can work on as a couple?

• Do you feel like you fully trust me?

• Why did your last relationship end?

• Do you see yourself staying in this location for the long-haul?

• Are you happy with the balance between your work and personal lives right now?

Reflective questions to ask your girlfriend

Like serious questions, these deep questions will help you look back on your time as a couple and find clarity on what you’ve done well and what you wish you could have done differently.

• What’s your proudest accomplishment in our relationship as a couple?

• Do you feel like there’s anything we could have improved on in the early phases of our relationship?

• What areas have room for growth in our relationship right now?

• What do you think our loved ones would say about our bond?

• What kind of evolution have you seen in me?

• What kind of evolution have you seen in us as a couple?

• Is there anything you wish you could have changed about our relationship history?

• What is one thing we can do together each week to deepen our love for each other?

• What could we each do differently in our relationship to support each other better?

• Do you have any regrets in having me as a boyfriend?

• How do we handle challenges as a couple?

• Are there any dreams you’d like for us to accomplish together?

• What positive qualities do you think we each bring out in each other?

• Is there a time you can look back on in our relationship that you would call a turning point?

• How have our priorities changed as a couple?

• What’s your favorite thing about our relationship?

• What’s your least favorite thing about our relationship?

• What do you think we have learned from our relationship?

• What has been the biggest gift of our relationship?

• What has been the biggest challenge of our relationship?

Sweet questions to ask your girlfriend

Tug at her heartstrings with these heartfelt questions to ask your girlfriend.

• What do you remember thinking when you first met me?

• What’s your favorite date we ever went on together?

• Is there anything I can do to make you less stressed for the day or week ahead?

• What’s your most cherished way of spending quality time together?

• When do you feel like we are most connected?

• What could I do to make the situation with [XYZ] better?

• What song reminds you of our relationship?

• What book reminds you of our relationship?

• If two celebrities were playing us in a biopic, who would you pick to portray us?

• What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you?

• What tiny thing makes you feel the most loved?

• What’s the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever gotten you?

• How did you know you wanted to be my girlfriend?

• What’s your favorite thing about our relationship?

• What compliment is your favorite to hear?

• Can I plan a special date for us this weekend?

• What can I do to be a better partner to you?

• Are there any New Year’s resolutions we can make together?

• What do you think our biggest accomplishment as a couple is?

• What memory of ours always makes you smile?

Random questions to ask your girlfriend

Sometimes, you just want to know if they like pretzels or potato chips better. Try these random questions to unearth new fun facts about your girlfriend.

• Pretzels or potato chips?

• Mountains or the beach?

• What’s your biggest pet peeve?

• Staying in or going out?

• What’s the last interesting thing you got in the mail?

• What’s the right amount of pillows for you?

• Night owl or morning bird?

• Showers or baths?

• Cats or dogs?

• What’s your favorite holiday?

• What’s your favorite month?

• What’s your horoscope for today?

• If you had to be on a reality TV show, which would it be?

• What’s the best way to spend a rainy day?

• What’s your favorite season?

• What’s your favorite day of the week?

• Hot tub or cold plunge?

• Tea or coffee?

• Alarm clocks or getting up naturally?

• Chess or checkers?

This article was originally published on TODAY.com