13 Reasons Why actress Tommy Dorfman announces engagement

·2 min read
Photo credit: Getty Images
Photo credit: Getty Images

Tommy Dorfman has announced her engagement to her girlfriend.

The 13 Reasons Why actress revealed the pair were set to wed, but kept the identity of her partner a secret.

Calling her "just a gay girl", she said: "I fell in love with someone who doesn't fetishise me."

She continued: "It's very affirming. It's very safe — also, not safe. Being in love is so scary, so uncomfortable and so painful."

Discussing her sexuality on Rachel Bilson's podcast Broad Ideas, she added: "I knew I was interested in women in a way that I hadn't really been aware of since high school. I had this unresolved, unexplored thing."

Photo credit: Jamie McCarthy - Getty Images
Photo credit: Jamie McCarthy - Getty Images

Dorfman added: "I was like, 'This is the year that I'm gonna go on some dates with girls and feel that out again, and not feel ashamed about it.'"

The 30-year-old was previously married to Peter Zurkuhlen but filed for divorce earlier this year.

Dorfman announced she was trans in July 2021 after privately identifying as a woman for 12 months.

"I view today as a reintroduction to me as a woman, having made a transition medically," she said at the time.

"Coming out is always viewed as this grand reveal, but I was never not out. Today is about clarity: I am a trans woman. My pronouns are she/her. My name is Tommy."

Photo credit: Getty Images
Photo credit: Getty Images

Dorfman previously opened up about handling relationships while transitioning.

"It's wild to be 29 and going through puberty again. Some days I feel like I'm 14. As a result of that shift, the types of romantic partnerships I seek out are different," she said.

"I was in a nine-year relationship in which I was thought of as a more male-bodied person, with a gay man. I love him so much, but we've been learning that as a trans woman, what I'm interested in is not necessarily reflected in a gay man."

She continued: "I spent 28 years of my life suicidal and depressed and recovering from alcoholism and drug addiction.

"I don't think I've ever been genuinely happy until this past year."

We would encourage anyone who identifies with the topics raised in this article to reach out. Organisations who can offer support include Samaritans on 116 123 (www.samaritans.org) or Mind on 0300 123 3393 (www.mind.org.uk). Readers in the US are encouraged to visit mentalhealth.gov or the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

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