As far as keeping the flame alight in your relationship goes, we’ve heard it all.
There’s also plenty of conflicting stats out there. A third of couples are in sexless relationships and yet, newlyweds are staying together longer than Victorians.
Enter Gary W. Lewandowski Jr.
The professor at Monmouth University in New Jersey has come up with a set of 15 questions to alleviate all of our relationship woes.
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According to him, these 15 questions will determine whether or not your relationship is doomed to fail. He studies the psychology of relationships and thinks these quick-fire questions will let you know everything you need to know about yours.
The 15 golden questions:
Does your partner make you a better person, and do you do the same for them?
Are you and your partner both comfortable with sharing feelings, relying on each other, being close, and able to avoid worrying about the other person leaving?
Do you and your partner accept each other for who you are, without trying to change each other?
When disagreements arise, do you and your partner communicate respectfully and without contempt or negativity?
Do you and your partner share decision-making, power and influence in the relationship?
Is your partner your best friend, and are you theirs?
Do you and your partner think more in terms of “we” and “us,” rather than “you” and “I”?
Would you and your partner trust each other with the passwords to social media and bank accounts?
Do you and your partner have good opinions of each other – without having an overinflated positive view?
Do your close friends, as well as your partner’s, think you have a great relationship that will stand the test of time?
Is your relationship free of red flags like cheating, jealousy and controlling behaviour?
Do you and your partner share the same values when it comes to politics, religion, the importance of marriage, the desire to have kids (or not) and how to parent?
Are you and your partner willing to sacrifice your own needs, desires and goals for each other (without being a doormat)?
Do you and your partner both have agreeable and emotionally stable personalities?
Are you and your partner sexually compatible?
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You may’ve come across the Keltner List before if you’re into baseball. It’s a way to assess whether or not baseball players should make it into the Hall Of Fame.
The questions are a relationship version of this. The relationship Hall Of Fame, if you will.
The idea is that the test isn’t long-winded and in-depth but a quick test you can take to pick out any relationship red flags.
It’s backed by loads of research, though. The findings of what constitutes as a healthy relationship are all woven into the questions.
Plus, it’s not something you have to answer with your partner, so you can be honest with yourself to get the truest results possible.
The aim? To say yes to as many questions as you can.