20 Hilarious Realities Of Hanukkah With Kids, As Told In Tweets
If you’re on X (formerly known as Twitter), you’ll know that parents like to tweet about all the funny things their kids and say do. When the holidays come around, there’s even more fodder for amusement — and multiply that by eight for the eight nights of Hanukkah.
We scoured X (formerly known as Twitter) for the funniest tweets from parents about Hanukkah. Because what festival of lights celebration would be complete without a few laughs?
My son told me I ruined hannukah--which is particularly impressive of me considering that we're not Jewish and dont observe the holiday.
— martha dumptruck 🚚🥤 (@sa1martha) January 6, 2022
December dilemma solved: celebrate 4 nights of Hannukah if your kid is half Jewish.
— Teresa Strasser (@teresastrasser) December 2, 2010
Oh great, my child has finally moved on from that annoying television show he was obsessed with…immediately after I already bought all of the annoying television show-themed hannukah gifts.
— Robyn Caplan (@robyncaplan) November 30, 2023
Me; “What did you get Dad for #Hannukah?”
14yr old; “Well, Y’know how he’s always stressed out?!”
Me; Yeah...
14yr old; Well, I got him stress balls that come in a ballsack”— tara strong (@tarastrong) December 1, 2018
Me: Hey kiddo, there’s an Easter egg hunt in the neighborhood. Want to go?
5 year old daughter: Um, aren’t we Hannukah people?— Andrew Gross (@grossap) April 11, 2022
happy “oh fuck do i have hannukah candles??!?” to all those who celebrate
— leigh (@daughter_ion) December 18, 2022
Lyrics to the song my daughter is making up and singing to herself in bed:
Hannukah
Hannukah
You don’t have to go potty at Hannukah!
Flush and wash
Hannukah!— Michael Meir Saltzman (@JustAddSaltz) August 22, 2022
To those who wonder about the eight nights of gifts during Hanukkah and if we really do get eight nights of presents...
This only happens when you’re a kid and, yes, one of those nights will involve socks and underwear as the present.#hannukah— Meredith (@meralee727) December 23, 2019
It's a Hannukah miracle: one kid gets the sniffles & the entire family is sick for eight days.
— Michael Grunwald (@MikeGrunwald) December 18, 2014
I though 10yrs would be a good age to play The Hannukah Song by Adam Sandler to my daughter. She didn’t find it amusing. Now I’m sad because she has to live somewhere else. Anyone looking for a child with a sense of humor that sucks?
— JudgyPantsJesse (@JesseeWeirdo) December 23, 2019
TEACHER: "Alright kids, I'm thinking of something that has to do with Christmas..."
KID: "HANNUKAH!!!"#shitkidsatmyworksay— Dee 💕 (@nerdeebirdee) December 14, 2017
Being a Jewish kid of divorce can't be all bad. You get 16 hannukah's.
— zach reinert (@zachreinert0) July 4, 2017
kids are sending me a hannukah/xmas list... item by item to me via messenger... Lord help me cause the dinging is perpetual.
— gigachoad.eth 🦭 2693.eth (@CluelessMaven) November 30, 2023
Hannukah means my targeted advertising is mostly targeted at my kid and, huh, maybe I do want a "rollercoaster engineering kit."
— Robyn Caplan (@robyncaplan) November 29, 2023
Convo with my almost 5 year old:
Me: Because we’re Jewish, we get some different holidays.
Kid: Like what?
Me: Like Hannukah.
Kid: And Halloween!
Me: Well, no.
Kid: And Christmas!
Me: Not in the way you think.
Definitely going to have to circle back to this conversation.— Andrew Gross (@grossap) October 28, 2021
The kids have a new toy whose batteries already died.
Then they tried turning it on and it worked for several more hours.
They have proclaimed this as some sort of modern day miracle.
Like Hannukah.
But with toy batteries.
🤦— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) December 17, 2018
It’s the first night of Hannukah tonight but our first miracle came this morning. Our 2-year-old and 4-year-old played together for two full hours, without a single scream, argument, or conflict needing parent intervention.
— Sheera Frenkel (@sheeraf) November 28, 2021
2nd grader: what are you doing this weekend Ms. Merdinger?
Me: decorating my house for Hannukah.
2nd grader: oh right cause you’re jermish?
Me: yep. cause im jermish.— Carly (she/her) (@Carly__Dana) December 1, 2023
Some nights of Hannukah I really phone it in. Like night 2 when I gave the kid a pen with a koala lid. The woman at the store thought it was for me and congratulated me on choosing a pen no one could steal at the office w/o getting caught. Anyway tonight I rocked it. 🔥
— Gina Kaufmann (@GinaKCMO) December 3, 2021
Whenever I make cupcakes my kid pretends it’s one of her doll’s birthdays. We lit a candle and sang them happy b-day and when ruby blew out the candle she goes, “Wow! It’s smells like Hannukah in here!” 😂
— E Sobes (@mrsdankweiler) January 23, 2022
