Is it time to go back to school yet? Asking for a friend.
In the meantime, grab an icy cold beverage and a snack and put your feet up. It is time to laugh along with your fellow summer parent warriors!
My husband didn’t know it was Amazon Prime Day yesterday but he’ll find out soon enough.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 13, 2022
It's called "natural consequences"!
My kid asked me to hold her ice cream without eating any and I was like, I love you kid but some lessons you have to learn the hard way
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) July 10, 2022
It's not faaaaaaair.
Me, watching all the dads with in-town grandparents getting free childcare all summer pic.twitter.com/bBH9mlqhXB
— The Dad (@thedad) July 13, 2022
Move over, hot girl summer, we're doing supportive mom summer where we hype each other up in the Target bathroom like drunk girls at the bar. You "upcycled" your maternity shorts into 4 years postpartum shorts? Me, too. You look fantastic.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) July 11, 2022
We don't talk about frozen pie.
All you need to know about marriage is that my wife’s had a pie in the freezer for the last year and I’m not allowed to bring it up
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) July 9, 2022
Nothing starts my day off on the right foot like my child announcing to the neighbor that “mommy ate drugs” because I took Tylenol this morning
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) July 13, 2022
Remember when you could just move your body with no pain or resistance? Being 5 was the best.
— snarkandlemons (@snarkandlemons) July 9, 2022
But seriously, where is it?
"You have a Master's degree", I whisper to myself as I struggle to find the end of a roll of tape.
— AparnaRC (@Wordesse) July 8, 2022
File under: Special skills.
I'm a mom to teens, so I just added sigh and eye roll interpreter to my resume
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) July 12, 2022
Overheard 6 telling 12: Mommy said babies come out of vaginas but I don't know what that is so I'm gonna ask my teacher.
— Suppose She's A Wildflower (@_SouthernMama) July 13, 2022
Sure, completing a PhD is impressive. But have you ever cut all of a toddler's nails in one sitting?
— An Apple Hat (@AnAppleHat) July 11, 2022
This is their villain origin story.
When my kids have arguments, it's like the MCU. You really need to have been watching all 7 seasons of the spin offs, prequels and back story that built up to this moment just to get why one kid is mad at the other for wearing a little hat
— The Dad (@thedad) July 13, 2022
Why are plants harder to keep alive than actual humans?
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) July 10, 2022
*chases after ice cream truck in Tom Cruise running style
— The Alex Nevil 2.0 (@AlexNevilAgain) July 11, 2022
Wash, rinse, repeat.
Summer vacation with my kids is just me asking, “Have you brushed your teeth today?”
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 12, 2022
There are four golden girls and four teenage mutant ninja turtles but ask yourself, why have we never seen them all together in the same place?
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) July 12, 2022
Try again, Mom.
Sorry we’re late… my 6yo asked what one hundred plus one hundred was and she didn’t like when I told her two hundred.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) July 13, 2022
All the ibuprofen!
Being an adult really just means you have an upstairs bottle of ibuprofen and a downstairs bottle of ibuprofen
— Michael, PA-C, RN (@michael_RNtoPA) July 12, 2022
This should go well.
We hadn’t even made it to the zoo gate when 5 said, “I’m tired of walking.”
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) July 12, 2022
My husband had a fantastic system for packing the car up, and all was going according to plan.
But then we decided to have kids eight years ago.
— Ohio mom of two 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ #BLM (@OhioMomoftwo) July 9, 2022
Vacation Day 7:
5 is crying because we never do anything fun.
— Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@AnecdtlBrthCtrl) July 9, 2022
All the parents at the splash pad, on the count of three, 1..2..3: DON’T DRINK THE WATER
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) July 8, 2022