It's a cruel, cruel summer... but these parents are making it a little bit funnier! Pull up a beach chair and a boat drink. We're going to get through these last weeks of summer together.
Is there no in between?
Trying to decide on a school portrait package that’s somewhere between “I care but I don’t need my son’s face on a kitchen towel.”
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 3, 2022
I told you so.
I look forward to the phone call from the teacher about 2 weeks into school confirming everything I will tell her today at Open House.
— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) August 4, 2022
I'm very loved.
I choked on some water earlier and during my coughing fit, my 4yo asked me to be quiet so he could hear the tv. It’s safe to say I should start saving for a nursing home now.
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) August 4, 2022
Who are we kidding?
I said to my son I’m not your servant! Then we laughed and I got him some lemonade.
— @love.you.memeit (@LMemeit) August 4, 2022
Resting middle-aged parent face.
Teen daughter: What? Why are you looking at me that way?? You’re all squinty and judgy.
Me: I just took my contacts out.
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) August 4, 2022
I totally forgot about that.
My husband found an old photo album and it turns out we used to be young
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) August 4, 2022
So much fun.
3: mummy you can wipe my bum THEN do more work!
- working from home, a memoir
— Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) August 4, 2022
Who makes these rules?
When two kids say something at the exact same time it's a jinx, but when I say the exact same thing as my teen in public it's "cringey"
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) August 4, 2022
Maybe this summer thing is OK after all.
Every time I think I’m ready for summer to be over, I get a complicated email for school asking me to add apps, sign up for things, and add special dates to my calendar, and having the kids at home doesn’t seem so bad.
— Not the Nanny (@not_thenanny) August 2, 2022
At dinner with the family: "Raise your hand if you're tired."
My husband and I raise our hands.
So does the mom at the table next to us.
— MommyCocktail (@MommyCocktail) August 1, 2022
I dare you.
Who wants to tell my kid just because she circles something in a catalog that doesn’t mean she gets it?
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) August 1, 2022
What was I thinking?
I was a terrible mother today and intentionally ruined my teens street cred. Well what I really did was walk next to him in the grocery store but apparently it’s the same thing.
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) July 28, 2022
You are not, in fact, Lizzo.
People over 40 yrs, don't let those TikTok dance videos hype you up. Remember when you slept on your stomach and it put your back out for 3 days.
— Jacana Mommy (@jacanamommy) July 28, 2022
We have to make our own fun.
If you don’t wake your kids up during summer yelling “hurry, we are late for school!”at least once, you’re not living your best parenting life.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) August 1, 2022
Enter Sandman, indeed.
Listening to Metallica as I prepare to go into battle…and by battle I mean vacation with my family which includes 7 children.
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) July 22, 2022
Hold on, let me get my tricorn hat.
I went on a youth backpacking trip. I asked one of the teens what music he was listening too, he said “Some classic rock.” I assumed he meant Led Zeppelin or something, but then he listed off Blink 182 and Coldplay, and suddenly it felt like I came to America on the mayflower.
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) August 1, 2022
Try harder, Summer Tooth Fairy.
Told 5 the tooth fairy is extra busy over the summer break and that’s why she dropped the coin on 5’s face instead of leaving it under her pillow
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) August 4, 2022
I'm going to be very well hydrated.
In an effort to drink more water, I started taking a sip of water every time one of my kids yells MOM. So far I'm at 7 gallons.
— Suppose She's A Wildflower (@_SouthernMama) August 3, 2022
And Advil. So much Advil.
Taking a vacation with family is like having major surgery; I'm going to need at least 2-3 weeks of recovery.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) August 4, 2022
What has become of me?
I used to go to places every night where my shoes stuck to the floor, and now I say things like “That is a gorgeous reusable shopping bag!”
— redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 (@RYGdance) August 3, 2022
Whoever said it was the journey and not the destination didn’t have screaming kids in the car
— Mom Meh Dearest🤦🏼♀️ (@mommeh_dearest) July 25, 2022
It's all theater.
Packing school lunches is like preparing a pretentious Viking funeral for all of the vegetables my kids aren't going to eat.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) August 2, 2022
How could I?
Thoughts and prayers for my teen, she's fine, but apparently I "blinked wrong" while she was telling me a story and now she just can't even
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) August 3, 2022
I asked my daughter if she ever wanted children and she said “I don’t need a man or kids I need a room for my pets”
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) August 3, 2022
I deserve a cookie.
I’ve been married to the same man for the entire pandemic, when do I get my trophy
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) July 22, 2022
He won't be going into marketing.
I asked my 5yo what his favourite animals were when he went to the zoo today. He said he loved seeing the cheetahs, the giraffes and the dead gorilla. The gorilla was a statue.
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) August 4, 2022
How do they live that way?
Husband has an appointment at 10:10. He got in the shower at 9:54. This is why I have anxiety
— meghan (@deloisivete) August 4, 2022