35 Funny And Delightful Parenting Tweets From Lin-Manuel Miranda

My son wrote a song called
"I Just Want To Eat Bread Now."
I knew he'd surpass me but not so SOON.

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) September 19, 2017

Side effect of Go, Dog, Go, the best book ever: Your son WILL tell total strangers on the bus that he does not like their hat.

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) January 8, 2017

Good parenting means investing in your child's future, which is why I am saving to buy mine a hoverboard someday

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) October 21, 2014

Parenting hack: don’t have an infant high chair for dinner? Have you considered a bucket full of towels? pic.twitter.com/msznGNQJmY

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) August 14, 2018

12 weeks old: when your kid is young enough to fall asleep on your chest yet long enough to kick you in the nuts at the same time.

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) February 3, 2015

I want to love something as much as my son loves raisins and trains.

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) April 9, 2016

Thanks to my son for making me this “rainbow cake” pic.twitter.com/zRAkaUO46w

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) January 18, 2018

S’MORES.
A Real-Life One-Act Play

Me: So that’s the marshmallow but you’re going to eat it with this graham cracker and chocolate.

[My son looks at me like I am the dumbest person alive.]

Sebastian: No, I’m going to eat it with my MOUTH.

[End of play.]

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) June 2, 2018

Watched Great Pumpkin special with my son yesterday and he LOST HIS F**KING MIND FOR SNOOPY.
He calls him "SNOOFY."
NO ONE CORRECT HIM EVER

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) October 30, 2017

Hey our son decided 3am-5am is the best time to party
Cool cool cool
Good morning
I am a walking shambles

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) November 19, 2015

My son got a stomach bug and threw up ALL NIGHT!
His temp was 🔥!
It was lit fam, lit AY EFF pic.twitter.com/Rvi40zC0Wy

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) January 1, 2017

BATHROOM.
[I sit down in the bathroom. My son bursts in.]
Me: What are you doing in here?
Sebastian: I’m just ... knowing where you are.
[He sings “Daddy are you done yet” to the tune of Happy Birthday on a loop until it is time for us both to leave.
End of play.]

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) June 5, 2018

When your son insists you play the wrong end of the recorder at 6:30am because it makes him laugh pic.twitter.com/LDqXjKnKae

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) April 7, 2017

You can burp me now
But I won't stop now

-one of many Nas songs I have repurposed as a lullabye to my son

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) May 19, 2015

Sebastian's track design is getting out of hand. He's courting disaster. pic.twitter.com/8lrwZ8ceSF

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) May 8, 2017

Meanwhile, I spent the morning keeping my crawling son out of my dog's food.

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) August 12, 2015

“I didn’t realize babies come with hats.”
-Toby Ziegler, The West Wing pic.twitter.com/OhoYQI3JYY

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) February 13, 2018

new life goal: Be as enthusiastic about everything as my son is about ONE POTATO CHIP.
"PAPITAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) October 29, 2016

Airport under construction, expect delays pic.twitter.com/pTQDm59PO1

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) February 25, 2018

And THAT's how you write Moana tunes. https://t.co/lNPkpVcjnS

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) April 26, 2017

In other other news: our youngest son rolled over by himself this morning.
None of us were in the room at the time: we left him face down on the bed for a second, and when we came back, he had flipped sunny side up.
This is quite a feat. He is a perfectly spherical boy.

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) July 17, 2018

I don’t know Paw Patrol as well,
he’s working with me pic.twitter.com/fCWsCclyea

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) January 18, 2018

I told my son I had a bad dream and he replied,
"Sebastian not scared of dinosaurs."
So there you have it. Let's go.

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) January 18, 2017

Good morning!
This morning I got my son to eat a whole egg, so I am feeling very influential indeed.

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) April 21, 2016

This morning my son smelled my head and said
"Daddy wash hair! Great work!" So yes, a bit of a day thank you https://t.co/fncDPRsElB

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) January 24, 2017

My son plays in a cardboard box while his tiger stands watch.
We've gone full Calvin & Hobbes over here. pic.twitter.com/G3Ylilxvnr

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) October 31, 2016

On this date in 2015.#Lawyered pic.twitter.com/UnWmSiHrAu

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) May 9, 2017

I have been made to sing the Blaze and The Monster Machines theme for the past hour @VAMNit pic.twitter.com/6xgKcYnDTk

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) January 16, 2018

My son just invented a new phrase for when he doesn’t want to do something and it’s so damn good...
Me: Hey, do you want some breakfast?
Sebastian (shaking his head): I’m sweaty about that.
I’M SWEATY ABOUT THAT.

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) August 8, 2018

(In our hotel)
Sebastian: I slept in a big bed!
Me: what did you dream about?
Sebastian: (looking at me like I am the dumbest) big beds, dad

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) September 22, 2017

In happier news, we discovered PJ Masks on Xmas Eve so here is a homemade
Owlette & Cat Boy pic.twitter.com/NdFplbPU0T

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) December 27, 2017

(Very) early morning track work, expect delays pic.twitter.com/qrGHgCDTd5

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) January 30, 2018

[This morning]
Son: Daddy, what happens when you die?
Me: Well, hopefully I'm not going to die for a very long time, buddy, but--
Son: I SAID, what happens when you TIE? Like in a race?
With The Flash?

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) November 5, 2018

[My son & I are at the movies. The Universal Logo plays. Sebastian shrugs.]
Sebastian: I guess this movie happens on planet Earth. pic.twitter.com/xnZZxKLlLg

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) August 20, 2018

This morning my son is giving me a master class in how to fall, how to get up with a smile.
I learn from him every day.
Good morning.

— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) August 26, 2015