35 Hilariously Real Tweets About Back-To-School Season
Back-to-school season is generally a hectic time for parents. Naturally, they turn to Twitter to vent about the start of the school year.
Below, we’ve rounded up 35 hilarious and too-real tweets about back-to-school season.
'Twas the night before school starts & all through the house everyone was stirring because the kids stayed up late every night this summer & their mom didn't get them back on a normal schedule the last week of break like she wanted & now they'll probably miss the bus tomorrow.
— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) September 8, 2021
The preschool just said my kid had to be potty-trained before school started. They did NOT say I had to get my toddler to stop calling the toilet seat the “butt hole.”
— The Dad (@thedad) September 8, 2021
Me: yay! Back to school clothes shopping is done!
5, a week before school starts: *growth spurt*— Marissa 💚🍃💛 (@michimama75) August 20, 2021
Me: how was your first day?
12, in tears: WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME MIDDLE SCHOOL DOESN’T HAVE A PLAYGROUND— Katie Didn't (@Pork_Chop_Hair) September 2, 2021
Parents, it’s the first day of school, the forms you submitted need to be filled, printed and resubmitted. Two copies one in blue other in black ink on a papyrus and a confirmation tattooed on your inner left thigh. After care programs which you signed up for have been canceled
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) September 13, 2021
My kids started school yesterday and when they got back home I only asked them 17 questions each instead of the 63 questions I wanted to ask. So while I don’t think it’s absolutely necessary to call me the queen of restraint, I’m not opposed to it.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) September 14, 2021
Got back-to-school supplies a week ago, but the kids found the box, so now they're all-over-my-house supplies.
— AparnaRC (@Wordesse) August 27, 2021
Ah, a new school year: fresh books, new clothes, and an updated assortment of “why I didn’t eat my lunch today” excuses.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) September 9, 2021
It’s the night before the first day of school, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring—
SCHOOL EMAIL: ONE MORE THING— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 18, 2021
My kids are at school and my wife is on a business trip, so I'm all alone at home for the first time in 1.5 years.
I should be excited, but instead I'm mostly just worried about locking myself out of the house.— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) September 9, 2021
Here's a little song I wrote about getting kids up for school it's called "Wake Up Wake Up I Said WAKE UP You Should Have Been Up 20 Minutes Ago Why Aren't You Dressed Yet OMG YOU'VE MISSED THE BUS NOW I HAVE TO DRIVE YOU TO SCHOOL AYFKM" and a one and a two
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) September 8, 2021
May your kids find both shoes, the drop off lines be short and your coffee stay hot
- Back to school prayer— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) August 17, 2021
School is back in session.
Fall sports have resumed.
My kids are both signed up for extracurricular activities.
Things are going well.
Until I realize that I have to get them to multiple places at the exact same time.— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) September 9, 2021
When I couldn't wait for them to go to school but now I gotta do homework every night pic.twitter.com/if0g5vTcW4
— The Dad (@thedad) September 10, 2021
me: how was school?!?
kindergartener: *a 45-minute monologue on lunch*— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) September 15, 2021
Absolutely no one:
Elementary Schools: Tomorrow is camping day! Wear your favorite adventure gear.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 13, 2021
Filling out school forms and I expect to finish by the time spring break rolls around.
— AparnaRC (@Wordesse) August 22, 2021
Who wants to play the “How long will it take for my kid to lose an item of their brand new school uniform?”
My go first: 3 days— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) September 7, 2021
I thought I'd be a sobbing mess after school drop-off but turns out after 18 months of hell I'm completely numb to emotion
— amil (@amil) September 9, 2021
I put my phone down for an hour and missed 67 back-to-school emails.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 9, 2021
me: how was the first day of school?
son: best day ever!
me: really? what did you do?
son: nothing, really. just kind of sat there.
me: did you make any friends?
son: yeah, a best friend!
me: what's his name?
son: I don't know.
KINDERGARTEN IS A TRIP, Y'ALL.— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 17, 2021
Behind every first day of school photo is a mom pre-planning all the hot, nasty nothingness she's gonna do for 6 hours.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) August 17, 2021
my4yo is currently highly disappointed to learn that meeting her sister at the bus stop after school just means walking to the corner of our street and waiting
— Heather #BLM🏳️🌈 (@dishs_up) September 7, 2021
*dropping kid off at first day of kindergarten*
5yo: I'm gonna miss you!
Me: (already in the car) WHAT?— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) September 13, 2021
My teen left her phone at home when she went to school so unfortunately she can’t text me if she needs anything. Fortunately she also can’t text me if she needs anything.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 8, 2021
me: how was your day
5: my day was horrible! i wanted to stay home but you made me go to school so i went! but then i went to the library and got a book, and made a book mark. it was great!— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) September 14, 2021
Happy first day of school NYC parents!!! pic.twitter.com/VWH01VxGSh
— Jessica Grose (@JessGrose) September 13, 2021
I seriously thought I'd pull up, give my son a kiss, and drive off on the first day of kindergarten. Instead we parked 4 blocks away from the school, waited in line for over an hour, and finished all of his snacks before we even made it to the building. THIS IS MADNESS! 😂😂😂
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 16, 2021
Me: What did you do today?
9yo, after doing 8 hours of school: Nothing. What did you do?
Me, after doing 8 hours of nothing: Everything. So many things. All the things.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 9, 2021
My favorite part of kids going back to school are the weeks before, during & after when I send them all to bed when the sun is still shining bc “we have to get back on a school schedule”
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) August 22, 2021
While other parents are buying pencils & notebooks for back-to-school season, I'm gathering intel on the class mean girls in case my daughter needs to emotionally destroy them
— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) August 26, 2021
It's my very first Back To School Night as a parent which means I can bring wine right
— Meena Harris (@meena) August 18, 2021
Dropped of my daughter for her first day at school today. I was worried she would cry & make all of us miserable. This Girl walks into the school doesn’t look back to say goodbye. WTH? No emotions whatsoever, walked in like a cyborg and didn’t look back. Cool, no yawa! It’s cool.
— Mr. Geppetto (@theakyemmafia) September 15, 2021
Inflation is crazy. One 80’s school flyer is now 100 school emails.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 13, 2021
Here's a little song I wrote about the kids going back to school it's called "OH THANK GOD" and a one and a two
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 30, 2021
