Behold: Our Spoiler-Free 'Bachelor' Predictions for How This Season Will End
Hello and welcome to the messiest phase of The Bachelor: life after Fantasty Suites. This is essentially the Bachelor Nation version of everything that happened after Regina George spread pages from the Burn Book all over the school in Mean Girls. It's a big ol' scramble. Anyway, here's how we predict the rest of the season will roll out.
[There are spoilers for practically every episode of The Bachelor ahead. If you aren’t caught up, stop right here!]
Hannah Ann or Kelley will be this season’s villain.
Look, it sucks to use the word “villain” to describe any woman, but this is reality TV we’re talking about. The producers set us up for this! These two seem like they have enough chemistry with Peter to inspire jealousy, and they’re also both a little conniving. Kelley cheating in her challenge and Hannah Ann interrupting literally everyone makes me think they both have what it takes to be this season’s Krystal. Hannah Ann also showed up in a wedding dress during the Revolve fashion show challenge, which is basically a page out of Luke P.’s book!
We made this prediction after the premiere, but as of episode 5: Both of these are still possible, but Kelley looks less and less likely. She kind of just...cries all the time?
Hannah Brown won’t actually participate in this season.
I know the first episode made it look like Hannah was coming back for good, but I suspect that won’t actually happen. When this season was filmed, she was in the middle of Dancing With the Stars, and it would have been really hard for her to do both things at once. She won DWTS, which obviously means she was filming for that entire season.
We predicted this after the premiere, but as of episode 3: Hannah hasn’t returned to the show, and it really doesn’t seem like she will.
But Hannah and Peter will reconnect after the season.
This is a WILD prediction, and please remember that I’m coming to this with literally no Bachelor experience, but my guess is that by the time this season is done, Hannah and Peter will have reconnected somehow. I have no idea who will win the season, but obviously there is something major between Hannah and Peter, and I have this weird feeling they’re not done. Watch this space. 👀
The windmill jokes will literally never stop.
Look, I know this kid had sex in a windmill four times, but that is NOT the same as having a personality. We’re never going to hear the end of it though. Mark my words.
We predicted this after the premiere, but as of episode 4: These women are waaay too fired up to be applauding Peter for his sexual stamina.
Alayah will return to the show.
On last night’s episode, Alayah was sent home in a dramatic rose ceremony that saw Peter give away one less rose than he was supposed to. But the preview for next week shows her coming back for at least a portion of the episode. The producers kind of already pulled this with Hannah this season, so it’d be weird to do exactly the same trick twice. That’s why it seems like Alayah will come back for good during the next episode.
We predicted this after episode 3, and as of episode 4: It totally happened! Wow, it’s almost like we get paid to do this ish.
Alayah will manipulate Peter into keeping her around for a while.
Listen, if a woman can make her way back onto The Bachelor after being sent home...she can probably cure the common cold. Unfortunately, eradicating illnesses probably doesn’t get you a Revolve partnership, so it looks like she’s going to use her power for evil. If she’s playing by the true villain textbook, she’ll stop at nothing to get Victoria P. sent home. I also have a feeling that one of the more vocal contestants, like Deandra, will reach her bullshit threshold and voluntarily go home as a result.
We predicted this after episode 4, but technically...we had a feeling it was coming before the season even started. Alayah did actually get sent home, which totally surprised us. Unfortunately, Deandra did too.
Chris Harrison is going to have to stage a little intervention for Peter.
Wow, this pilot is truly on his bullshit this season. He is getting very caught up in all the drama, and although the contestants are all trying to steer him back on track, he seems a little lost. I sense an emotional one-on-one with our man Chris Harrison. Yes, drama makes for great television...but it’s gone too far! It’s become so meta that all the drama is now about general drama. I have a migraine!
We predicted this after episode 5. And honestly...it kinda happened during the Fantasy Suites? Or...Fantasy Suite, singular, because all the girls ended up living together for the first time ever. Chris Harrison said this was intentional to force them all to have a conversation, which is kind of like a more suspicious version of an intervention.
Peter’s mom is crying about Madison.
So, in the preview for the upcoming episodes, we see Peter’s mom crying and begging him to bring someone back. We also see Peter getting some shocking news: Madison admit that she’s saving herself some marriage and some action going down in the fantasy suites. Here’s how I think this is going to go down: Peter will hook up with one of the finalists. Madison will find out and decide that she doesn’t want to be with him. She’ll go home on her own accord, which is when Peter will find out and throw himself dramatically on the bed. Then his mom will be super upset, because she probably loves Madison. (I mean who doesn’t? Plus, they met at the beginning of the season, so she’s a solid contender for Mrs. Weber’s fav.)
We predicted this after episode 7. Also, tons of fans are convinced it’s going to happen, so...it definitely probably will. Oh, and after episodes 8 and 9...it’s looking even more likely. That means our official spoiler-free prediction is that the final two will be Victoria and Hannah Ann. Judging by the previews, it seems like this will definitely play out.
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