44 Ellen DeGeneres Quotes to Make You Laugh, Cry & Stay Motivated

Ellen DeGeneres always knows what to say, even if it means cracking a joke at the most inappropriate of times. Keep reading for a list of 44 Ellen DeGeneres quotes that will make you laugh, cry and stay motivated.

1. “My point is life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The piña and the colada.”

2. “I really don’t think I need buns of steel. I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon.”

3. “Nothing says holidays like a cheese log.”

4. “Accept who you are unless you’re a serial killer.”

5. “You are never too old to play. You are only too old for low-rise jeans.”

6. “Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.”

7. “Procrastinate now. Don’t put it off.”

8. “Never follow someone else’s path…unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost, and you see a path. By all means, you should follow that.”

9. “I like my coffee like I like my men. I don’t drink coffee.”

10. “You know what I need? I need a tortilla chip that can support the weight of guacamole.”

11. “I’m so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James!”

12. “No one is perfect. Except for Penélope Cruz.”

13. “Just keep swimming.”

14. “I have a rule: If the temperature is less than my age, I don’t get out of bed.”

15. “When I go hiking and I get over the hill, that means I am past the hard part and there is a snack in my future.”

16. “I’m a godmother. That’s a great thing to be: a godmother. She calls me ‘God’ for short. That’s cute. I taught her that.”

17. “Was gonna go to the gym but the parking lot was so crowded, I would’ve had to park three blocks away. I’m not walking that far to get on a treadmill.”

18. “Be kind to one another.”

19. “Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.”

20. “Everything bad that’s ever happened to me has taught me compassion.”

21. “It is failure that gives you the proper perspective on success.”

22. “Be open to learning new lessons, even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday.”

23. “Embrace who you are. Literally. Hug yourself. Accept who you are.”

24. “I believe we’re all put on this planet for a purpose, and we all have a different purpose.”

25. “When you connect with that love and that compassion, that’s when everything unfolds.”

26. “Beauty is not between a size 0 and size 8. It’s not a number at all.”

27. “It’s funny how the universe guides you to where you’re meant to be. I wanted to make people happy.”

28. “Don’t worry about what people say about you. Let the naysayers nay. They will eventually grow tired of naying.”

29. “I think beauty comes from actually knowing who you are. That’s real beauty to me.”

30. “I work really hard at trying to see the big picture and not getting stuck in ego.”

31. “Find out who you are and be that person.”

32. “It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive.”

33. “My life is perfect even when it’s not.”

34. “It always helps to think about other people instead of ourselves.”

35. “Haters are my motivators.”

36. “You never know what funny can do.”

37. “Laugh as much as you can. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh.”

38. “There’s nothing I know for sure because I know for sure that things change.”

39. “Gratitude is looking on the brighter side of life, even if it means hurting your eyes.”

40. “I think I’ve been watching too much figure skating. At Starbucks this morning I ordered a triple salchow mochaccino.”

41. “People always ask me, ‘Were you funny as a child?’ Well, no, I was an accountant.”

42. “The truth is, we are all one connected thing. We are all from the exact same molecules.”

43. “You just have to keep driving down the road. It’s going to bend and curve and you’ll speed up and slow down, but the road keeps going.”

44. “True beauty is not related to what color your hair is or what color your eyes are.”

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