45 Puns That Make Me Laugh Uncontrollably No Matter How Many Times I've Seen Them

·1 min read

1.Roof costs:

how much does a roof cost nothing it's on the house

2.Hot rhymes:

person saying i wrote a song about a tortilla actually its a wrap

3.Sidewalk repairs:

beef in the sidewalk called ground beef

4.Dog crimes:

dog in a police car for unpaid barking tickets

5.A bit of illness:

someone saying they threw up iin the toilet and it';s a dvd

6.Strong days:

saturday and sunday are thee strongest days of the week. every other day is a weekday

7.The hot new movie:

someone asking if someone else has heard of the movie constipation and they say no that's because it hasn't come out yet

8.Spice rhymes:

someone saying i bless the rains down in paprika

9.Ross' pasttime:

david schwimmer swimming aka schwimming

10.Flat tires:

i have a flat tire i should have brought asapargus

11.Glasses problems:

Twitter: @triniliciousd

12.Calm skeletons:

because nothing gets under their skin

13.The latest previews:

guy in a truck watchinig a movie on a trailer he is watching a trailer

14.Post Malone's origin story:

pun about post malone

15.Crushed grapes:

grape that's crushed lets out a little whine

16.Home robbery:

guy who stole lamps from a home and was delighted

17.The going rates:

joke about pie prices in the bahamas where the punchline iis these are the pie rates of the Caribbean

18.Something kinda cool:

radish

19.Rising meat:

hamburger in an elevator aka taking lunch to the next level

20.Italian delicacies:

spaghetti with cars in it spaghetti carbanana

21.A comfortable shoe:

horse shaped shoe aka a horseshoe

22.Toast from a galaxy far, far away:

avocado toast that looks like jaabba the hut aka jabbacado toast

23.Everyone's favorite tasty treat:

beans in a peanut butter cup called beanut buter

24.Tree accidents:

person who hit a tree and the other person asks if they are oaky

25.Corn family:

pop corn is the dad in the popcorn bowl

26.Guilty presidents:

lincoln is the least guilty president because he is in a cent

27.Special powers:

person saying i can cut a piece of wood in half by looking at it it's true i saw it with my own eyes

28.A very cheesy laptop:

cheese ini a laptop call it mac and cheese

29.Rock friends:

an opal is a good friend

30.Library reservations:

person saying i can't make library reservations because they are booked

31.Construction breakdowns:

construction work is not boring in fact fastening pieces of metal together is riveting

32.Financial planning:

dog asking to make a de-paws-it

33.This no B.S. vet:

vet sayiing we shitzu not

34.The passing of a true hero:

tumblr post reading rip boiled water you will be mist

35.The hero we deserve:

bat man sculpturre made out of just-ice

36.The world's most professional Subway:

subway sign reading lettuce meat olive your eggspectations

37.Ruth's end:

person saying i broke up with ruth now i'm ruthless

38.The littlest thyme in the world:

herbs and a tiny thyme saying so many herbs so little thyme

39.Existential mattresses:

mattress reading ntothing really mattress

40.Michael Jackson's most powerful lyric:

smooth criminal replaced by a candle reading smooth caramel

41.An accident:

one person texts the other that there has been an accident and they freak out and say what happened and they send a picture of a dog in a car that says he forgot to put the car in bark
reddit.com / Via u/mr_danyelli

42.Pythonagorean theorems:

person saying a snake 3.14 feet long is a piie thon

43.The close link between these two nations:

ireland is just one sea away from iceland

44.Ice issues:

someone using a discount card to take care of ice on a car bnut they only got 20% off

45.And finally, the world's holiest day:

tuesday feb 22nd
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