55 funny Santa jokes that are sure to sleigh the whole family
December is here and, as expected, Santa and his elves are busy at work at the North Pole. After all, there are last-minute toys to finish cobbling and names to add to the "Nice List," before the man in red heads out for his midnight ride on Dec. 24.
With merely days to go, there's not a moment to waste. If your Christmas shopping is done and presents are wrapped, then congratulations. You can officially kick back and sip some hot cocoa while enjoying Christmas carols by the fire.
However, if you're like the rest of us, you're probably frantically rushing around trying to get everything done in time, which means you could probably use a dose of holiday humor. Good news: We're we're here to provide it with this collection of funny Santa jokes.
In honor of jolly ol' St. Nick, we've gathered all our favorite holiday-inspired dad jokes including Christmas puns, corny one-liners and clever knock-knocks—and all of 'em are guaranteed to get even the reindeer snorting.
Because, if we're being honest, while Christmastime is often thought of as the "most wonderful time of the year," it can also be one of the most stressful, which makes a little comic relief practically mandatory.
And we're positive these Santa jokes will help keep your spirits merry and bright, as well as everyone else in your crew.
In fact, dare we say, these amusing Christmas riddles will have kids and adults laughing...all the way (ho, ho, ho).
So, get those bobtails a-ringing and knees ready for slapping because these Santa jokes are going to positively sleigh you.
Santa jokes
Did you hear that Santa Claus joined Instagram? He wanted online presents.
What’s more unbelievable than a talking reindeer? A spelling bee.
Why does Santa Claus have trouble spelling? He thinks there's Noel.
What does Santa use to clean his sleigh? Comet.
Why does Santa collect magazines? He’s got issues.
Why does Santa use GPS? He doesn’t want to be a lost Claus.
Where does Santa stay on vacation? At a ho-ho-ho-tel.
Who says “Oh, oh, oh?” Santa Claus walking backward.
What did the ocean say when Santa flew over? Nothing. It just waved.
What do you call Santa when he’s on a break? A Santa pause.
Which of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves? Dancer.
Where does Santa store his suit? In his Claus-et.
Why is Santa so good at karate? He’s got a black belt.
What did one of Santa’s helpers say to the other? Let’s take an elfie.
What did Santa and Mrs. Claus name their daughter? Mary Christmas.
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing. It was on the house.
Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners? Rude-olph.
What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
How do you hire Santa Claus? You put him on a ladder.
What did Santa say after returning to the North Pole? There’s snow place like home.
What did Santa say to the comedian? You sleigh me.
How do you invite Santa to a party? You request his presents.
What do you call someone afraid of Santa? Claus-trophic.
What’s a cat’s favorite holiday song? “Here Comes Santa Claws.”
What did Santa do when his sleigh broke down? He got it mistle-toed.
What happens when Santa gets stuck in the chimney? He gets claus-trophobia.
Santa one-liners
Who delivers presents to good baby sharks? Santa Jaws.
What do elves eat for lunch? Santa-wiches.
Who delivers gifts to dogs? Santa Paws.
What do Santa's elves drive to work? Minivans.
Where does Santa deposit checks? At the snowbank.
How can you tell Santa is near? You can feel his presents.
Why does Santa come down the chimney? It soots him.
What's Santa's favorite candy? Jolly Ranchers.
What does Santa eat for dinner at the North Pole? Chill-i.
What does Santa eat for breakfast? Mistle-toast.
Why does Santa hate doing taxes? Because he's elf-employed.
Santa knock-knock jokes
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Coal. Coal who? Coal me when Santa's on his way.
Knock, knock! Who's there? Ima. Ima who? Ima hoping to be on Santa's nice list this year.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Santa. Santa who? Santa Claus, duh!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Water. Water who? Water you askin’ Santa for Christmas?
Knock, knock! Who's there? Knot. Knot who? Knot another Santa joke, pul-eez!
Knock, knock! Who's there? Interrupting Santa. Interrupting ... Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
Knock, knock! Who's there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like to get some presents from Santa?
Knock, knock! Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive the other reindeer are jealous that Santa likes Rudolph best.
Knock, knock! Who's there? Kris. Kris who? Kris Kringle. Merry Christmas to you!
Knock, knock! Who's there? Yule. Yule who? Yule be sorry if you're on Santa's naughty list.
Knock, knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Luke at all the presents that Santa brought!
Knock, knock! Who's there? Auto. Auto who? You auto know who Santa is by now.
Knock, knock! Who's there? Kenya. Kenya who? Kenya stop with the Santa jokes already!
Knock, knock! Who's there? Wren. Wren who? Wren will these Santa jokes ever end?
Knock, knock! Who's there? Yeah. Yeah who? Yeah who, I'm excited for Santa too!
Knock, knock! Who's there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and go to bed so Santa can come down the chimney.
Knock, knock! Who's there? Ida. Ida who? Ida know, but I sure hope it's Santa.
Knock, knock! Who's there? Harmony. Harmony who? Harmony Santa Claus knock-knock jokes can one person tell?
This article was originally published on TODAY.com
