My dear friends, if you just had yourself an absolutely terrible month where nothing went your way, just remember...

1.The person who will curse the country of Australia until the end of time:

2.The person whose bread had an extra-special filling:

3.The person who, on the bright side, doesn't have to buy curtains all winter:

4.The person who has enough ice to last a lifetime:

5.The person whose potluck will now be taking place inside their Nissan Altima:

6.The person who will almost certainly be patient zero for some sort of new, unstoppable super virus:

7.The person whose food should be there in no time at all:

8.The person who learned one of life's most valuable candle lessons:

9.The person who had a few friends show up to watch the game:

10.The person whose car is buried boundless and bare beneath the lone and level snow:

11.The person who was kind enough to share their grilled onions with their dog:

12.The person whose hot tub definitely contains heretofore undiscovered species:

13.The person whose kid had an exciting new learning experience:

14.The person whose package was delivered to the dang Fangorn Forest:

15.The person who now must go on a hero's journey to retrieve their TP:

16.The person who I know for a fact was listening to track 1 of No Doubt's 1995 album, Tragic Kingdom:

17.The person whose laptop looks absolutely delicious now:

18.The person who experienced one of the worst combinations you could possibly experience:

19.The person who got to behold this incredibly majestic view:

20.The person whose stairs just got a visit from the ghost of Jackson Pollock:

21.The person who seems to have melted one of them there Avatars in that there washing machine:

22.The person whose ribs got a little extra seasoning:

23.The person who banished their chicken to the seventh circle of hell:

24.The person who just met some absolutely awesome gamer ants:

25.The person who now has the cleanest mouth in the entire restaurant:

26.The person who added a touch of love and a ton of pepper to their eggs:

27.The person whose laptop got a nice little bath:

28.The person who just hooked a tree up with the ride of a lifetime:

29.The person whose shirt got wrinkled beyond human comprehension:

30.The person whose cake has an extra-special ingredient:

31.The person who lost the blueberry lottery:

32.The person who will be getting their daily serving of iron lickety-split:

33.The person whose coffee went absolutely nuclear in the microwave:

34.The person who learned a bald guy lesson as old as time itself:

35.The person who made probably the most moist banana bread I've ever seen:

36.The person who got some extra protein with their order of fries:

37.The person who is now part Q-tip:

38.The person who was kind enough to share their toothbrush with a friendly little guy:

39.The person who had...THIS happen to them:

40.The person whose day is going to look a lot less Ilya Kovalchuk and a little more Scott Hamilton:

41.The person who found the elusive green orange:

42.The person whose jelly-filled donut was an absolute affront to all things good and jam filled:

43.The person whose hot tub was stabbed through the dang heart like its name was Tubula:

44.The person who was lucky enough to witness the miracle of conception on their morning drive:

45.The person who experienced probably the most painful thing that can happen to a finger:

46.The person whose coat hanger had a bit of an accident:

47.The person who would have been better off listening to the Oct. 31, 1998, "Wolfman's Brother" vacuum solo than getting into this mess:

48.The person who just lived every gym-goer's worst nightmare:

49.The person who's eating spaghetti and feet-balls for dinner tonight:

50.And the person who will never financially recover from this mistake: