101 St. Patrick's Day puns that totally sham-rock
If you're hoping to discover a pot o' puns at the end of the rainbow this St. Patrick's Day, then you're in luck.
Just ahead, you're about to find a treasure trove of clever one-liners and corny jokes that are — dare we say it — pure gold.
In the name of all things Irish, we've gathered together a collection of Paddy-licious St. Patrick's Day puns that we think are about to shamrock your world. Or, at the very least, give you a chuckle or two.
If you're in need of a beer pun to accompany an Instagram post of you and your pals enjoying a pint or two on St. Paddy's, you'll find it in the list below, and whichever you choose, it's sure to get ale, er, we mean all the likes.
Need a caption for a photo of you and the lassies Dublin over in laughter at the pub? We've got you.
In fact, whatever punny saying you're on the hunt for, it's here and once you find just the right one, you'll be clover the moon about it.
If you've noticed all of the bad-but-good puns we've already tossed in, beware, because there are plenty more where those came from. After all, what's St. Paddy's without corned beef, a pint of Guinness and a tongue-in-cheek pun that's — wait for it — lager than life?
Better yet, we've also thrown in a few Irish-inspired dad jokes to get your eyes a-smiling, like: Why are leprechauns shoemakers? They have sole, of course.
We get it. Our St. Patrick's Puns are way over the top (of the morning), but that's exactly the point.
So, read on, and let's get this paddy started!
Happy St. Patrick's Day puns
Wishing you a St. Paddy's that's clover the moon!
Irish I was Irish.
I'm lucky and I gnome it.
Drinking of you this St. Patrick's Day!
I'm head clover heels for you.
I'm giving you the green light to have a happy St. Paddy's.
The grass is always greener on St. Patrick's Day.
Officially a gold digger.
Have your-elf a merry little St. Paddy's.
It's St. Patrick's Day, go a little cloverboard.
Suffering from Dublin vision.
Tell me, what's wrong with this pitcher?
I've got no elf control.
You've got fight for your right to paaaaaddy.
Dublin down on this St. Patrick's Day celebration!
I'm here to paddy.
Will you be my Pinch Charming?
Irish I was at the pub right now.
I mustache you to have a very happy St. Patrick's Day.
Lucky you!
Ale's well that ends well.
I've got déjà brew.
Bad Irish puns are just how eye roll.
Hoppy St. Patrick's Day!
Hope this St. Patrick's Day bowls you clover.
You're off your sham-rocker.
Funny St. Patrick's Day puns
Irish you a very Happy St. Patrick's Day!
I'm lager than life.
The jig is up!
You put me to Seamus.
Between a shamrock and a hard place.
I've hit shamrock bottom.
Happy St. Paddy's to someone who's worth their weight in gold.
I was going to get you shamrock tie for St. Paddy's, but decided to get you a rain bow instead.
I am so clover it.
Short St. Patrick's Day puns
It's time to get this paddy started.
Who's your paddy?
It ain't over until it's clover.
I'm the life of the paddy.
Ale in a day's work.
You're worth your weight in gold.
Irish you were beer.
Ain't that a Seamus?
Shamrock and roll.
Ale that glitters is gold.
You're really clover.
You're my lucky charm.
You shamrock my world.
Life is brew-tiful.
Don't worry, beer happy.
May the luck be with you.
Irish you knew how much I loved you.
Irish puns
Which instrument isn't very modest? The brag-pipe.
Why did the leprechaun skip dinner? He already had a pot of gold.
Why do leprechauns recycle? They like to go green.
Why do leprechauns drink Guinness? Because they are pint-sized.
What's a leprechaun's favorite song? "Somewhere Over the Rainbow."
Why did the leprechaun quit his job? He kept getting short-changed.
What kind of potatoes aren’t Irish? French fries.
How can you tell if an Irishman likes your puns? He’s Dublin over in laughter.
How do Irish zombies greet each other? Top of the moanin’ to you!
What do horses wear for good luck? Shoes.
How do you make gold soup? Add 14 karots.
Why shouldn’t you iron four-leaf clovers? It’s not good to press your luck.
What do ghosts drink on St. Paddy’s Day? Boo’s.
What do you call a four-leaf clover with poison ivy? A rash of good luck.
What kind of bow can't be tied? A rainbow.
What kind of spells do leprechauns use? Lucky charms.
What happens when four-leaf clovers get jealous? They turn green with envy.
Where can you always find gold on St. Patrick's Day? In the dictionary.
What's long, green and only comes once a year? The St. Patrick's Day parade.
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? Because real rocks are too heavy.
What's the best month for a parade? March.
Why did the Irishmen stop searching for gold? It didn't pan out.
What does Ireland have more than anyone else? Irishmen.
Leprechaun puns
What do leprechauns use to clean the toilet? Mr. Green.
What did one leprechaun say to the other? Let's take an elfie.
Why aren't leprechauns barbers? They just don't cut it.
What dog breed is a leprechaun's favorite? Golden retriever.
What are leprechaun's such good gardeners? They have green thumbs.
Why did one leprechaun break up with the other? She discovered he was a gold digger.
How do leprechauns get to the moon? On sham-rockets.
How do you know when leprechauns are fighting? They give each other the gold shoulder.
Where do police put misbehaving leprechauns? The paddy wagon.
Why aren't leprechauns doctors? They don't have the patience.
What position do leprechauns play in baseball? Shortstop.
Why did the leprechaun quit working at the muffler factory? It was exhausting.
What's a leprechaun's favorite dance? The Shamrock Shake.
Why do leprechauns argue a lot? They're short-tempered.
Why are leprechauns shoemakers? They have sole.
What do leprechauns drink in the morning? Irish coffee.
What do you call leprechauns who pretend to love music? Sham rockers.
Why couldn't the leprechaun pay rent? He was a little short.
What did the teacher say to the leprechaun after he was caught cheating? Seamus on you.
What do leprechauns put on top of presents? Rainbows.
Why did the leprechaun study environmental science? He wanted to go green.
What happens when leprechauns drink too much? They get lucked up.
What do leprechauns put on their decks? Paddy O' furniture.
Why do leprechauns make good secretaries? They know shorthand.
Why did the leprechaun climb over the rainbow? To get to the other side.
How did the leprechaun win the race? He took a shortcut.
This article was originally published on TODAY.com
