Man, I Honestly Feel Sorry For These People Who Had A Really, Really, Really, Really Bad Month
If you had a moment last month where you felt down and out and like the whole world conspired against you, just remember...
1.The person who learned one of life's most important lessons:
2.The person whose grilled cheese is literally about to explode:
3.The person whose sheets just got a sick new design:
4.The person who will now be pioneering the "5,000-second rule":
5.The person whose cologne bottle exploded in a way heretofore unseen by human eyes:
6.The person who Hulked their dang door straight off:
7.The person whose makeup bag absolutely exploded:
8.The person who paid handsomely for the world's tiniest burrito:
9.The person who gets the honor of playing a little "tickle, tickle" later in the flight:
10.The person who will forever regret accelerating in that specific moment:
11.The person whose chocolate chip cookies might be a tad overdone:
12.The person who had quite literally the unthinkable happen to them and their poor toothbrush:
13.The person who got themselves a nice sear:
14.The person about to have a very white kitchen:
15.The person whose landlord was kind enough to practice their amateur taxidermy on a kitchen counter:
16.The person whose oven spontaneously combusted at the worst possible moment:
17.The person who, like King Arthur himself, must now pull the sacred tuna from the sink:
18.The person who was lucky enough to get a little extra protein in their bag of peas:
19.The person who miiight have wanted to measure those stairs one last time before putting them in:
20.The person whose Good Samaritan power lines saved the day:
Shoutout to power lines. Always keeping us going.
21.The person who found a little furry friend in their grapes:
22.The person whose dog absolutely decimated their passport right before a trip:
23.The inventor of a brand new bird poop latte:
Yum!
24.The person rockin' the sick new Rachael Ray tat:
25.The person who got the Tiny Tim special at the restaurant:
26.The person who, much like J. Paul Getty, will never, ever leave oil alone again:
27.The person whose chocolate egg became a pile of chocolate goop:
28.The person who got a liiiiittle took excited when opening their gift envelope:
29.The person whose book made SURE there wouldn't be any spoilers for them:
30.The person who is eatin' good tonight:
31.The person who apparently had a small-scale oil spill happen in their kitchen, the likes of which J. Paul Getty would certainly be interested in:
32.The person who's eatin' good on their cross-continental flight:
33.The person who is currently in the splash zone for 1.5 pounds of pure, unadulterated BBQ goodness:
34.The person whose "DO NOT BEND" envelope got bent...oh, it got bent:
35.The person whose luggage ended up arriving like it had SEEN some things:
36.The person who tried to be the "full-size candy bar house" and ended up with nothing but disappointment:
37.The person who accidentally cooked their cheesecake on the surface of the sun:
38.The person whose hard-earned money went to some crisp, cool air:
39.The person whose steak was cooked to unfathomable levels of doneness:
40.The person who broke their car in ways previously thought impossible:
41.The person whose cookies are lookin' absolutely, positively scrumptious:
42.The person whose neighbor pulled this wildly perplexing yet frustrating move:
43.This person who is about to have a very cronchy lunch:
44.The person with a computer that is now part soup:
45.The person who got off the bus and stepped straight into Hades itself:
46.The person whose dang teeth were fallin' out in the early hours of Thanksgiving dinner:
47.The person whose cats seriously have it out for delicious pie:
48.The person whose thumb tattoo seems to be drawn on with street chalk:
49.The person whose dream of becoming an MLB middle reliever died that day:
50.The person who learned the hard way that you should never wash a pillow in the washing machine like this:
51.The other person who learned one of life's most important lessons the hard way:
52.Ol' ripped pants:
53.The person whose turkey miiiiiiight just be a little overcooked:
54.The person who surely has the goopiest kayak around:
55.The person who will forever be sitting in a lake of Diet Dr. Pepper:
56.The person who added a brand-new ingredient to their makeup:
57.The person who is about to play the worst game of bobbing for apples that has ever been played:
58.The person who experienced one of the worst laundry disasters one can experience:
59.The person who loves their child very much, I'm sure:
60.And the person faced with Schrödinger's Shrek plate:
Quite the dilemma.
