125 Christmas puns that'll make you laugh your elf silly
When's the best time for a dad joke? Christmas. Why, you ask? Because it's the most pun-derful time of the year, of course.
Don't worry, we hear you groaning...and that's exactly the point of a corny one-liner and, frankincense, er, we mean, frankly, who can't use a good laugh around the holidays?
Between visiting relatives and emptying your wallet to buy gifts, a little humor goes a long way during the season of pleasin'. That's why we've collected the very best Christmas puns and corny one-liners to offer a bit of comic relief this year.
Whether you're seeking out a funny pun to drop into your holiday cards or need a Christmas caption to post on Instagram, we've got a list that we guarantee will positively sleigh your friends, family and coworkers.
In fact, there's snowone who won't giggle at least a little at these Christmas puns about Christmas trees, snow, dogs, cats and purr-dy much anything else holiday-related that you can think of.
Yule have everyone in stitches at the office party, Christmas dinner or telling your stash of bad jokes while mingling over holiday cocktails.
Whatever the occasion is, these short ditties will lighten the mood and help make spirits bright and just in the St. Nick of time, because Christmas is almost here.
So, prepare to get your jolly on. Oh, and don't forget to have your elf a merry little Christmas this year.
Christmas puns for cards
Have your elf a merry little Christmas.
I'm pine-ing for you this Christmas.
Fir real...have a merry Christmas.
All you needle is love.
Yule never guess who's coming? It's Santa!
I'm a rebel without a Claus.
It's a wonder-yule life.
There's no gift like the present.
To coldly go where no snowman has gone before.
Wake me up before you cocoa.
Snow be it.
Go outside for Christmas? Snow thanks.
Introducing: Santa Paws.
Introducing: Santa Claws.
Hope your holidays are tree-mendous this year.
Just in the St. Nick of time.
Christmas puns sleigh me.
Birch, pul-eez.
Someone's up to snow good.
Scrooge that!
Let there be peas on earth.
All I want for Christmas is ewe.
Season's eatings.
It's the most wonderful time for a beer.
Funny Christmas puns
Happy holly-days!
I love you from head to mistletoe.
Sleigh, what?!
All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire together? Frostbite.
What do cats listen to during the holidays? Christmas mew-sic.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosties.
What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.
What’s the difference between the regular alphabet and the Christmas alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
Why do reindeer love Beyoncé? Because she sleighs.
What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs? Candy canes.
Why do mummies love Christmas? There’s so much wrapping.
How does the snow globe feel at Christmas? A little shaken.
What is a fruit’s favorite Christmas song? "We Wish You A Berry Christmas."
What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot? “Get out of my face!”
How did Scrooge win the soccer game? The Ghost of Christmas passed.
Why did the two snowmen start dating as soon as they met? Because it was love at frost sight.
Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey because it’s always stuffed.
What do you call a reindeer ghost? A carib-boo.
What did the wise men say after giving gifts of gold and frankincense? “Oh, wait! There’s myrrh!”
How do sheep say, “Merry Christmas”? Fleece Navidad.
What do you get when you eat all the Christmas decorations? Tinselitis.
Which list do children who don’t know how to tie their shoes end up in? The knotty list.
What do you call a snowman party? A Snow Ball.
Why did the snowman get arrested? They were up to snow good.
What happens to Christmas gifts when they die? They become the ghost of Christmas presents.
Where do mistletoes go to get famous? Holly-wood.
Why is it so cold at Christmas? Because it’s Decembrrrrr.
How long should a reindeer’s legs be? Long enough to reach the ground.
What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes, “Ribbet, ribbet”? A mistle-toad.
What do road crews use at the North Pole? Snow cones.
What are parents’ favorite Christmas song? "Silent Night."
Who delivers presents to baby sharks? Santa Jaws.
Why is everyone at the North Pole thirsty? There’s no well.
Why was the snowman looking at a bag of carrots? He’s picking his nose.
What did the gingerbread man say to the sad fruitcake? “What’s eating you?”
What song and dance does Beyoncé like to perform at Christmas? "All the Jingle Ladies."
How do fairy tale books for reindeer end? “And they lived happily ever antler.”
What do reindeers use to decorate their antlers? Hornaments.
What do you call a snowman who’s always at the gym? An abdominal snowman.
What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? "Let's hang out."
Snow puns
Don’t even snow there!
Don’t worry, ski happy.
Home sleet home.
There’s no business like snow business.
Snow time like the present.
Snow pain, snow gain.
Snow rest for the wicked.
A blanket of snow: the holiday gift no one wants.
Christmas food puns
It's the most wine-derful time of the year.
It's Christmas-thyme in the city.
Good things come to those who bake.
Let's raise a glass and make a mistle-toast to the holiday season.
At the gumdrop of a hat.
Don't forget to make Santa-witches for the guests.
Dog Christmas puns
Daschund through the snow!
Happy Howl-idays!
Who delivers presents to dogs at Christmas? Santa Paws.
What’s a dog’s favorite Christmas treat? Candy canines.
What do dogs do at Christmas parties? They whine and dine.
Someone's barking up the wrong Christmas tree.
What’s a dog’s favorite Christmas song? “Sniffin’ Around the Christmas Tree.”
How do dogs celebrate Christmas? By throwing a Christmas paw-ty.
Cat Christmas puns
Who delivers presents to cats at Christmas? Santa Claws.
What do you call a Christmas gift for a cat? A purr-esent.
How do cats say “Merry Christmas”? "Meow-ry Christmas!"
Why did the cat give everyone gag gifts? They were kitten around.
What do you call a cat at the beach during Christmas? Sandy Claws.
Why did the cats hate their presents? They gifts weren’t up to scratch.
What is a cat’s favorite Christmas candy? Catt-y canes.
Christmas tree puns
It's high time to spruce things up.
I'm pine-ing for you.
Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim.
What do you get when you come across a Christmas tree with an apple? A pineapple.
Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? They keep dropping their needles.
Have a tree-mendous Christmas!
How do trees flirt? They talk about chemis-tree.
How do trees count? One, two, tree.
Santa and elf puns
I've got high elf-esteem.
Which of Santa's reindeer has the best moves? Dancer.
Why does Santa hate getting stuck in a chimney? Because he has clause-trophobia.
What is Santa’s favorite candy? Jolly Ranchers.
The holidays make me feel extra Santa-mental.
What type of car do Santa’s elves drive? Minivans.
What do you call a greedy elf? Elfish.
No need to Claus a scene!
Why did Santa get a ticket? He left his sleigh on a snow parking zone.
What kind of music do elves like? Wrap music.
How do you know when Santa is around? You can sense his presents.
What did the reindeers say to Santa after he fell off the sleigh? “Hold on for deer life!”
What do you call the elf who steals from the rich and gives to the poor? Ribbon Hood.
What kind of motorbike does Santa drive? A Holly Davidson.
Where does Santa keep all his money? At the Snow Bank.
What do elves learn at school? The elfa-bet.
Why is Santa so good at karate? Because he has a black belt.
What language does Santa speak? North Polish.
Who is the elf’s favorite rock start? Elf-is Presley.
What did the life coach say to the stressed out elf? “You need to treat your elf.”
Why does Santa cheer his elves on? Because they have low elf-esteem.
Why does Santa prefer going down the chimney instead of the front door? Because it soots him.
What do you call someone who’s scared of Santa Claus? Claus-trophobic.
This article was originally published on TODAY.com
