8 of the best dating sites for introverts, wallflowers, and shy people
Online dating is basically the best thing that ever happened to introverts.
You can now scan for a potential mate without ever leaving the comfort zone that is your couch. Of course, eventually you'll need to get up and actually go on a date. But until then, scroll away my friend. After all, there are millions of people all around the planet how are now realizing the strengths that introverts bring to the table.
SEE ALSO: 12 of the best online dating sites for geeks, nerds, sci-fi buffs, and more
You can even say we're living through a worldwide Introvert Revolution. Just look at the success of self-proclaimed introvert Susan Cain's wildly popular book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. Her book has sold millions of copies worldwide, a TEDtalk she gave on the topic has been viewed over 19,294,447 times and counting, and she reportedly gets paid five-figures for a single appearance.
While there's some overlap between being shy and being an introvert, Cain spelled out the difference during her 2012 interview in TIME, saying that "shyness is fear of social judgment and humiliation, and introversion is really preference for less stimulation."
If you've ever stopped to think about it, some of the most powerful people in the world are introverts, like Mark Zuckerberg, Marissa Mayer, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama. Introverts are taking over and people are noticing — including those who run dating websites.
So if the idea of socializing in a noisy bar or trying to make conversation in large groups is your personal idea of hell, there are dating services out there that cater to your specific needs. Have a hard time coming up with what words to say to someone you're into? There's an app for that. Prefer to make meaningful connections without revealing what you look like? We found a few websites with features that can let you do just that too.
To help you heighten your odds of finding the person to match your awesomeness, we rounded up 8 of the best dating sites for introverts just like you.
Looking for a trustworthy companion? Try Zoosk.
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Who's online: With over 30 million app downloads, you can find over 40,000,000 singles worldwide on Zoosk.
How it works: Like a good wingman (or wing woman), Zoosk starts to understand you more and more as time goes on to help introduce you to the person you can spend the night or rest of your life with. The site's unique algorithm recognizes your preferences through the actions you take. The more you interact with the site, the better it can match you with your ideal human.
Feel free to check out some of the success stories here.
Features for introverts: The SmartPick can really be your best friend, serving as the best icebreaker. If both you and someone you're interested in both vote "yet" on each other's profiles, the SmartPick feature will let you know the good news by email and shoot you a message in your Zoosk inbox.
What it'll cost you: A one-month subscription will run you $29.95, three months costs $19.98 per month, and six months is just $12.49 per month
Try it free: Zoosk.com
Looking for long-term partnership? Try eharmony.
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Who's online: eharmony's membership pool consists of singles who reside in all 50 U.S. states and more than 200 countries worldwide.
How it works: eharmony uses a compatibility matching system that pairs relationship hopefuls based on 29 different dimensions of compatibility. To get started, just fill out the Relationship Questionnaire, and once you're confirmed as legit, the website will start sending you your compatible matches.
How it helps introverts: eharmony has a feature called RelyID that helps verify the information provided by other members, like their name, city, and age. You know what that means? No catfishing. Also, your profile is only visible to the people who are a good match for you, so the experience can help to narrow your potentials down to only those who are actually a good fit. There's also Guided Communication, a four-step program of communication with your matches. Basically, its a series of questions that help to break the ice. If that doesn't work, the site also offers free dating advice at Love and Harmony. Check it out.
What it'll cost you: A year long subscriptions runs for $19.95 per month, but one of the most popular choices is the 6-month option for $29.95 per month. Not ready for a long commitment just yet? There's a 3-month subscription you can choose for only $39.95 per month.
Try it free: eharmony.com
Want a perfect personality match? Try Elite Singles.
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Who's online: EliteSingles says it's users are mainly educated, relatively affluent, adults between the ages of 30 and 55 who are in search of long-term commitment. The site breakdown by gender works out to be 56 percent women and 44 percent men.
How it works: In order to find like-minded matches, Elite Singles has you take an in-depth personality test. The test will evaluate you on your level of openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. Based on the results, the smart profiling can send you 3 to 7 compatible matches every day.
How it helps introverts: Since the personality test can identify the traits that really make you who you are, the dating service can match you with exactly the type of personality you'd be most compatible with.
What it'll cost you: It's free to sign up, but if you want to enjoy any of the most important features like daily matches, it'll cost you $59.95 for one month, $34.95 per month for 3-months, or $24.95 per month for 6 months. An annual membership will run you $17.95 per month. Each membership requires that you pay the entire duration upfront.
Try it here: Elitesingles.com
Want to go incognito? Try Match.com.
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Who's online: Find out yourself by clicking here. In short, this site is probably filled with your neighbors, old coworkers, new coworkers, and more. Match.com is pretty popular with members with diverse backgrounds who share a few common goals: to meet other singles, find dates, form romantic relationships, and meet life partners.
How it works: Match.com is pretty much an open dating service. There's absolutely no limit to who you connect with, or how often. After you set your dating criteria, the site will display possible matches. You can tweak or fine-tune the results as you wish.
Features for introverts: Large crowds can be scary, but Match regularly hosts meet-up events where you can create genuine relationships over time. If you enjoy browsing anonymously, there's a feature called Incognito Mode that allows you to view profiles without the other person knowing.
What it'll cost you: You can join for free but a year long premium membership will run you $20.99 per month. For half that time you can pay $23.99 every 30 days or for an even shorter commitment period you can go with the 3 month membership for $26.99 per month. There's even a 1-month choice to get you feet wet that costs $41.99.
Try it here: Match.com
Really want to go incognito? Try Anomo.
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Who's online: People who really want to engage in rich social interactions based on their location and common experiences, rather than relying on the physical or lengthy questionnaires. Introverts looking for friendships, dating, and entertainment.
How it works: There are a bunch of different ways you can get to know someone on Anomo. You can try one of the ice breakers games, post something interesting, or engage in the fun conversations. You pretty much chat with who you want that's around you.
Features for introverts: Anomo is 100% about keeping things casual, at least at first, giving you time to feel out the situation. Unlike other dating apps out there, Anomo starts you off with just an avatar. In fact, all of your personal information is locked from the start, so only you can see it. You can play games with other hopefuls and over time, the app matches you with people who share similar interests. Over time, as you get to know someone better, you can decide to reveal yourself.
What it'll cost you: Absolutely nothing. The app is totally free.
Try it here: Anomo
Nervous about planning a first date? Try Coffee Meets Bagel.
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Who's online: Coffee Meets Bagel is designed for busy singles who are looking to build real connects with little to no effort.
How it works: CMB uses an algorithm that takes into consideration basic info like your location, age, ethnicity, height, and religion, plus more nuanced criteria like your social network and interests to pair you with potential matches. You'll need a Facebook account to join.
Features for introverts: Instead of swiping, browsing, poking, and messaging your way into someone's inbox only to never hear back, this app will send you a potential match every day at noon. Men receive curated matches based on the algorithm and women will only be presented with potential matches (called Bagels) that have already expressed interest. Once there's a connection, the app sends you to a private chat room with icebreaker questions to get things started. CMB also follows up to encourage your first date. LGBTQ members are sent preselected potential matches everyday also.
What it'll cost you: For a 1-month membership, you'll pay $34.99. For 3-month renewals the cost is $74.99 and for 6-month renewals you'll pay $119.99 total. If you want to just go ahead and sign up for the whole year, you'll be charged $179.99.
Try it here: coffeemeetsbagel.com
Don't feel comfortable making the first move? Try Bumble.
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Who's online: Bumble reportedly has 23 million registered users with 72% under the age of 35.
How it works: This dating app will show you random profiles of users so you can swipe left if you aren't interested or right to like them. If and when you both "like" one another: voilà, its a match. What happens next depends entirely on your sexual orientation.
Features for introverts: Well, if you're straight the woman always has to make the first move. In the event that she decides not to, the connection completely disappears forever after 24 hours. If you aren't heterosexual, either person can kick-off the conversation.
What it'll cost you: Absolutely nothing, unless you want premium features like Bumble Boost, which lets you see everyone who has right-swiped you, extend your matches by another 24 hours, and allows you to Rematch with expired connections. The premium features will cost you around $9.99 per month.
Try it here: Bumble.com
Obsessed with data and metrics? Try OkCupid.
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Who's online: Millions have found dating success on OkCupid and the app sees over 1 million installs per week. In fact, you can see an updated number of people who are using the site right now by clicking here.
How it works: Algorithms, formulas, heuristics — the site uses a lot of crazy math stuff to help people find their matches faster. You'll see a percentage rating on each profile you encounter, letting you know the odds of success.
Features for introverts: You can really be yourself on OkCupid. Whether you're looking for the relationship of your dreams, a one-night stand, or a sham marriage (seriously, we’re not judging), OkCupid doesn't care unless you're being a jerk about it. On OkCupid, you’re more than just a photo, you can share stories, your passions, and pretty much anything else you want and feel totally at home.
What it'll cost you: A basic account is always free. But there are some paid extras you can enjoy if you want a more premium experience. If you pay for the A-List membership, you can cut out the ads, you get more search options like body type and attractiveness, you can see everyone who likes you, and you can see who reads your messages, among other useful things. There's an Incognito mode that lets you be invisible to everyone on the site unless you like or message them. Basic A-list starts around $19.95 for 1 month and goes up to $9.95 per month for 6 months.
Find it here: OkCupid.com
Are you single and shy? Try Single and Shy.
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Who's online: The site claims that 1,000 bashful men and women who are looking for dates join daily.
How it works: To be honest, there aren't that many places where people who are more introspective can congregate in the outside world. That kind of goes against the idea of being shy. Sure there are clubs and parities, but if you're really shy it's nearly impossible to meet anyone there. This website is the solution. The website's matching system uses your preferences, location, and interests to match you with others. It even offers expert tips to help you overcome your shyness.
Features for introverts: There's a wink feature, similar to a poke on Facebook, that you can use to flirt with other members without having to formulate a written message.
What it'll cost you: For free, you get to create a profile and send unlimited winks. The full membership, however, that allows you to send and receive private messages, chat with the instant messenger, and see who's viewed your profile is $29.95 for 1 month, $16.66 per month for 2 months, and $11.67 per month for a year.
Find it here: SingleandShy.com
