10 Signs You’ve Met Your “Twin Flame,” Which Is So Much Better Than Your Soul Mate
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We’ve all heard the term “soul mate,” but what about “twin flame”? It’s a term that’s floating around more and more (hi, Megan Fox and MGK!), and while it sounds like it’s basically interchangeable with “soul mate,” that’s not totally accurate. A "twin flame" is maybe an even bigger deal???
Here’s how Megan Fox described Machine Gun Kelly:
“I knew right away that he was what I call a twin flame. Instead of a soul mate, a twin flame is actually where a soul has ascended into a high-enough level that it can be split into two different bodies at the same time. So we’re actually two halves of the same soul, I think. And I said that to him almost immediately, because I felt it right away.…I think it was the second day [of filming]. I asked him to come into my trailer for lunch, and I put him through all of this astrology stuff. I went deep right away. I knew before I even did his chart, I said to him, he has a Pisces Moon. I could tell by his energy.”
Wait, what’s a twin flame?
The general theory re: twin flames is two people who were split into different bodies but share the same soul. They’re basically one soul in two bodies. Twin flames make soul mates look and feel totally disposable in comparison, since they’re like super soul mates. “You’ll probably have many soul mates, but there will always be just one twin flame,” says Chris Pleines, founder of DatingScout.com.
In You Only Fall in Love Three Times, writer and relationship coach Kate Rose describes twin flames this way:
“Twin flames are highly connected spiritual relationships, the kind of love that we often refer to when we speak about meeting our other half or even The One. This relationship is ultimately destined to not just end with warm nights cuddled up in bed but in us becoming more of the person that we were born to be. It’s the relationship that will lead us back to ourselves.”
Twin flame vs. soul mate
A twin flame and a soul mate are not the same thing, and in fact, you might have one of each! In You Only Fall in Love Three Times, Rose describes the difference between a twin flame and a soul mate as:
“[A soul mate is someone] that we’ve traveled through multiple lifetimes with, but unlike the karmic love or twin flame, there are no major lessons to learn from them specifically and there is not the sharing of those mesmerizing energy ties, the strong feelings of connection. It’s more like coming home to an old friend.”
Where did the idea of “twin flames” come from?
According to Healthline, the term “twin flame” was first coined in the 1970s by Elizabeth Clare Prophet, a New Age spiritual leader. In 1999, she published a book titled Soul Mates and Twin Flames: The Spiritual Dimension of Love and Relationships.
However, the concept of one soul being split into two bodies is present in many different spiritual and philosophical traditions, going all the way back to Plato’s Symposium in the fifth century BC.
How do you know if you’ve found your twin flame?
Think you’ve found your twin flame? Here are some clues:
1. While a soul mate has strictly romantic connotations, a twin flame doesn’t necessarily have to be romantic.
Yes, romance is preferable when it comes to finding your twin flame. Falling in love with someone who totally *gets* you sounds pretty nice, right? However, romance doesn’t necessarily have to be the be-all and end-all for twin flames, explains Pat58, a relationship expert and psychic adviser. Think of a soul mate as someone who would fight to the death for you. A twin flame is more about a connection you share with the person who’s largely built on commonalities from your past.
2. A twin flame’s purpose is to help you teach each other and grow.
“In spiritual teaching, twin flames are two halves of one soul that have united to teach each other profound lessons,” explains Cara Kovacs, NYC-based relationship expert. Your twin flame helps you become the person you were ~meant to be~, and you do the same for them.
3. A twin flame relationship might be very on and off…
Twin flame relationships do not necessarily last a lifetime, explains Channa Bromley, relationship and dating coach. “Once the lessons have been learned, we may or may not stay in the relationship. We do become whole because of the growth and healing that the twin flame relationship provides.”
4. …and the relationship might be super tense and emotional.
Whereas soul mates ~complete each other~, twin flames are more about pushing each other to grow, adds Kovacs. This totally tracks with the idea that with any growth, there’s a certain degree of tension to be expected. Ultimately, though, through any conflict, twin flame relationships are there to help each person heal.
5. You’ll be hyper-aware of the other person’s flaws.
After an initial honeymoon period, “you or your partner will be the one discovering unlikable traits, which will trigger the feeling of anxiety, which might rock the relationship,” Pleines explains.
6. But you’ll feel like you’ve known this person your whole life.
“They feel familiar in a way that you can’t quite explain, but you feel instantly very comfortable with them,” says Kovacs. As you get to know each other, you might come across details in your upbringing that you have in common, such as both being adopted or you might have even been at a lot of the same events at the same time without ever meeting. Kovacs adds that the feeling of meeting your twin flame can be described as intense and familiar at the same time.
7. Your twin flame will feel like “home” for you.
Your twin flame will completely get and accept you. You’ll often share similar interests, thoughts, strengths, and weaknesses, says Paulette Sherman, PhD, a psychologist and dating expert.
8. You’ll act as mirrors for each other.
All this similarity is so you and your twin flame will eventually reflect each other in a way that heals deeply held wounds from childhood or even past lives, according to Kovacs. This mirror-like quality is also responsible for some of the drama you will likely encounter with your twin flame. “Everything that we have spent our lives running from or denying is suddenly in front of us,” says Pat.
9. You won’t necessarily stay together forever.
Sorry to break it to you, but even if you find your twin flame, you might break up. Like any relationship, it all comes down to how you handle your conflicts and differences. As Pleines puts it, “The conflicts that arise during [the crisis stage] and how you solve them will ensure how long your relationship will last.”
10. Not everyone finds their twin flame, but if you do, it has the potential to be a totally life-changing kind of love.
Yep, not everyone gets reunited with their twin flame through their life, according to Pat. However, she adds, if you are reunited, the relationship has the possibility to be “once-in-a-lifetime-ain’t-nothing-ever-gonna-be-the-same love.” No pressure!
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