8 Things You’ll Only Know If You Have Obscenely Long Hair
[Image: Wikipedia]
Because it isn’t just a hairstyle, it’s a freaking LIFESTYLE.
1) You find gross hairballs on the floor, all the time
Hairballs are vile. Where do they even come from? WHY DO THEY ALWAYS GET STUCK TO YOUR SOCKS? Ew.
But you know what’s worst of all? The fact that they look as if they could quite conceivably be evil members of the arachnid family. Most of your evenings are spent playing ‘Is it a spider or is it a clump of my hair?’ with your nearest and dearest.
2) You always seem to whack other people with it
Other friends swing their hair over their shoulder and look like the star of a L'Oreal advert, but you try to do a quick ponytail between meetings and manage to bop your colleagues in the face with it. Oh! Sorry, very important manager. Didn’t see you there…
3) You occasionally realise you could use it as a scarf if the mood took you
Long-haired lady? Don’t pretend you haven’t wrapped your hair around your neck and thought “Wow. Snug” at least once in the last week. It makes you feel oddly elegant, like a turtle-neck-wearing Parisian lady - you’re not sure why but you go with it. You keep some actual scarves for outdoor purposes, though.
4) You always lie on it while you sleep and wake up in a panic
“Why can’t I move my head? Who is on my hair? WHO IS ON MY HAIR?! O-oh. It’s me.”
5) Sometimes you get sick of it and dramatically say “I’M GOING TO GET IT ALL CUT OFF”, but you never actually do
Perhaps you will sell it to an evil hair-extension maker named David. Perhaps you will have a bob, OR A MOHAWK. Anything to rid yourself of this stupid, high-maintenance mane. But when your trip to the hairdressers rolls around, you wimp out and ask for “a very small trim.” Maybe next time…
6) You’ve tried all the curlers in the world and none of them seem to work
Or rather, they work for about ten minutes, until the sheer weight of your hair drags your bouncy waves down and you turn up to the party looking like you curled your hair with a carrot three weeks ago.
7) You get through shampoo like there’s no tomorrow
Things are getting expensive - so to cut costs you’re currently alternating between your favourite brand and the 99p budget bottle you found at the back of the bathroom cupboard. Savin’ like a pro.
8) You unspokenly compete with other people who also have long hair
“Y’know, my hair has grown LOADS,” a friend will say, “I think it’s probably longer than yours now!” You smile and your lips say “Maybe!” but your head says “HELL NO.” You make a mental note to bring a tape measure to your next meeting so you can settle this once and for all. Like grown-ups.
Got any long-haired anecdotes to share? Tweet us @YahooStyleUK
