80 Funny Christmas Jokes - Best Christmas Dad Jokes for Kids and Adults

It won't be long until Santa will be coming to a chimney near you and leaving presents beneath the tree.

With that in mind, you’re probably thinking about what Christmas cookies to bake, when you’re going to decorate the tree and which ugly sweater you're going to wear to this year’s holiday party.

Frankly, there’s a lot to do before the big day arrives and if all the festivities have got you feeling a little "Bah, humbug," we’ve got exactly what you need to put the “merry” back into your Christmas.

With some help from the man in red, we’ve collected some of the most ho-ho-ho-larious Christmas jokes to help get you and everyone else in a cheery mood this holiday season.

In fact, Santa’s sleigh is chock-full of silly Christmas puns like “What did one Christmas tree say to the other? I’m pining for you.”

We’ve also got funny dad jokes that St. Nick and his elves would certainly approve of. While, yes, they may be a bit corny, they're sure to bring the belly laughs (and eye rolls) on Christmas morning.

Since you made the nice list this year — ours, at least — we also threw in a few Christmas knock-knock jokes for good measure. That way, kids and adults will have something to chuckle from morning to night.

So, settle in with your Christmas cocktail of choice and get ready to giggle all the way.

Funny Christmas jokes for kids and adults

  • What did one snowman say to the other? You smell carrots, too?

  • Did you hear about the snowman prom? It was a snowball.

  • What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted flakes.

  • Where does Santa store his suit? In his Claus-et.

  • Did you hear about the angry snowman? It had a meltdown.

  • Who’s the snowman’s favorite rapper? Ice Cube.

  • What do you call a two-legged reindeer? Eileen.

  • What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap music.

  • Did you hear about the anxious snowman? He needed to chill out.

  • Where do gingerbread men sleep? On cookie sheets.

  • Why don’t Christmas trees knit? They keeping dropping their needles.

  • Why is Santa so good at karate? He’s got a black belt.

  • Why do reindeer wear bells? Their horns don’t work.

  • What did one of Santa’s helpers say to the other? Let’s take an elfie.

  • What did Santa and Mrs. Claus name their daughter? Mary Christmas.

  • Did you hear about Rudolph’s rollercoaster ride? He held on for deer life.

  • What did one Christmas tree say to the other? I’m feelin’ pine.

Christmas dad jokes

Elizabethsalleebauer / Getty Images/RooM RF
Elizabethsalleebauer / Getty Images/RooM RF
  •  How do you wish a dog Merry Christmas? Feliz Navi-dog.

  • What does Santa use to clean his sleigh? Comet.

  • Why does Santa use GPS? He doesn’t want to be a lost Claus.

  • What kind of salad do they serve at the North Pole? Iceberg lettuce.

  • Where does Santa stay on vacation? At a ho-ho-ho-tel.

  • What did one angel say to the other? Halo there!

  • Who says “Oh, oh, oh?” Santa Claus walking backward.

  • What should you expect at the end of Christmas Day? The letter Y.

  • Why do birds fly south for Christmas? It’s too far to walk.

  • What did the salt say to the pepper on Christmas? Seasonings greetings!

  • How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing. It was on the house.

  • Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners? Rude-olph.

  • Where do reindeer go if they lose a tail? The retail store.

  • What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

  • What did Santa do when his sleigh broke down? He got it mistle-toed.

  • What did the cop say when he a snowman stealing? Freeze!

  • What does Santa eat for breakfast? Mistle-toast.

  • How can you tell if a snowman doesn’t like you? He gives you the cold shoulder.

  • What do you call festive ducks? Christmas quackers.

  • What did one snowman say to the other? You’re cool.

  • Why don’t mountains get cold in the winter? They have snowcaps.

  • Where do you find reindeer? I dunno, depends on where you left them.

  • What do you call a snowman with no arms or legs? A snowball.

Christmas knock-knock jokes

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow one’s better than you are!

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Sandy. Sandy who? Sandy Claus is coming to town.

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Christmas.

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Holly. Holly who? Holly-days are my favorite.

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Coal. Coal who? Coal Santa, it’s Christmas.

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana candy cane.

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Tree. Tree who? Tree wise men.

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut open the presents until Christmas.

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any more presents?

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Avery. Avery who? Avery Merry Christmas to you!

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Santa. Santa who? Santa Claus, duh!

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Yule. Yule who? Yule never know.

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Norma Lee. Norma Lee? Norma Lee we have ham on Christmas.

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ken. Ken who? Ken you help me decorate the Christmas tree?

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Needle. Needle who? Needle money for Christmas shopping.

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Allie. Allie who? Allie want for Christmas is you.

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Gladys. Gladys who? Gladys finally Christmas.

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Barry. Barry who? Barry Christmas to you!

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Icy. Icy who? Icy you.

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Murray. Murray who? Murray Christmas to you!

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Water. Water who? Water you askin’ Santa for Christmas?

  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? This is snow time for telling Christmas jokes.

Christmas puns and one-liners

Louise Beaumont / Getty Images
Louise Beaumont / Getty Images
  •  Why can’t you shock reindeer? They’ve herd it all.

  • Where do snowmen keep their money? In snowbanks.

  • What’s the best Christmas gift to give? A broken drum. You can’t beat it.

  • How do sheep greet each other around the holidays? Merry Christmas to ewe.

  • What’s a Christmas tree’s favorite candy? Orna-mints.

  • Why is it always cold on Christmas? Because it’s in Decem-burr.

  • What did Santa say after returning to the North Pole? There’s snow place like home.

  • What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament? Wanna hang out?

  • How did the snowman pay for his groceries? With cold cash.

  • How does Jack Frost get to work? On a snowmobile.

  • What did one snowman say to the other? Did you pick your nose?

  • What did Santa say to the comedian? You sleigh me.

  • How do you invite Santa to a party? You request his presents.

  • Why did the snowman get detention? He was up to snow good.

  • What do you call someone afraid of Santa? A Claus-trophic.

  • What’s a cat’s favorite holiday song? “Here Comes Santa Claws.”

  • What did one Christmas tree say to the other? I’m pining for you.

  • Where do Christmas trees go to have fun? Tinseltown.

This article was originally published on TODAY.com