9/11 attacks inspired Army vet to enlist

Apr. 2—Today's veteran: Brian "Amarok" Critton, 37

Born: El Paso, Texas

Residence: Kingsland

Service: Army, 10 years

Duties: Infantry

Rank: Specialist 4

Recognitions: National Defense Service Medal; Good Conduct Medal; Global War on Terrorism Expeditionary Medal

Duty stations: Iraq; Fort Benning; Fort Leonard Wood, Mo., Fort McCoy, Texas

His story: Brian "Amarok" Critton was a high school senior living in New York when terrorists attacked the Twin Towers on Sept. 11, 2001.

He said he is still haunted by memories of that day

after his school sent everyone home, and he had to walk miles.

"I was afraid of every plane I saw," he said.

His father, an Army veteran and police officer in the Bronx, did not argue when Critton announced he was dropping out of high school to earn his GED so he could enlist in the military.

"There was no stopping me," he said.

After he earned his GED, Critton told his recruiter he didn't have a preference of jobs, and he was assigned to infantry training.

While he was in a hurry to play a role in the response to the terrorist attacks, the Army was in no hurry to send him anywhere.

His four-year enlistment ended, and he was living in New York in 2007 when his Army Reserve unit was called up to active duty as part of Operation Iraqi Freedom.

He had three jobs at

Logistics Support Area Anacona in Balad, Iraq: guard Iraqi civilian workers, convoy support and providing security for staff at an Army hospital.

It was nerve-wracking duty because of the constant mortar attacks.

"There wasn't a day the base wasn't mortared," he said. "It was life changing."

Critton said he spent the first 30 days on base convinced he was going to die.

"At a certain point, I had to embrace the possibility I was going to die," he said

He was shot at during convoys when he rode on top of vehicles manning a machine gun for protection. He had an rocket propelled grenade land 20 feet away from him during a sandstorm when visibility was less than 3 feet.

"We were the first ones to get hit," he said. "You can't be scared to die."

He provided security for Iraqi civilians who worked in pits burning chemicals that are credited with Critton's health problems and 100% disability.

But the most difficult duty was the hospital security. He has vivid memories of wounded soldiers waking up from surgery to discover they were missing a limb and having to help restrain them.

"There was an onslaught of brothers coming in," he said. "We had bullets flying over our heads."

The civilian cases were just as bad. He helped a woman who was doused in boiling water by her husband, but she refused to have a male doctor treat her burns because she was afraid she'd face more punishment.

The worst memory was

of Iraqi parents who brought in a child with a heart

condition.

"We didn't have the equipment to operate on the baby," he said. "I had to stand there with the parents to watch their baby take its last breath. To me, it's something I can't get over watching that."

The other struggle of working at the hospital was watching doctors try to save the lives of enemy soldiers who would try to kill you on the battle field.

"You learn to detach yourself from your emotions," he said. "At some point we don't feel like we deserve better. Risk no longer means anything to us."

Critton returned to New York after his tour of duty and struggled with civilian life, including several suicide attempts.

"I was dying," he said. "I realized I couldn't function around other people."

He reenlisted and served another four years at Fort Benning before he left the Army with service-connected cancer.

Despite his health issues and painful memories, Critton said he has no regrets.

"I wish I could do it again," he said. "It's the best thing I've ever done in my life. It was about protecting my home. I'll take the nightmares, mood swings, medications and everything that comes with it."

Critton said he understands he needs to stay busy to cope with some of his struggles. He gets that help with fellow veterans.

"These are my real brothers now," he said. "I just want to advocate for veterans."