9 ways to make a child’s birthday special if it falls at Christmas

Christmas and birthdays are exciting times for children. But what if they happen at the same time?

It can be hard to differentiate between the two events, particularly if the birthday is on Christmas Day itself, but it’s crucial that parents do so, warn experts.

“No wonder it’s tough for Christmas babies, who share their celebration with millions worldwide who are celebrating something completely different,” says Dr Claire Halsey, a clinical psychologist from the Triple P Parenting Programme (triplep-parenting.uk.net). “This makes it all the more important to make a child’s Christmas birthday just as exciting and special as it would be on any other day of the year.”

While Tom Bourlet, of birthday party providers Fizzbox (fizzbox.com), adds: “Make sure not to combine Christmas and the birthday – they must be treated separately. This is especially the case if children have a sibling, as they will then feel they get half the presents/celebrations compared to their brother or sister.”

So what are the best ways to deal with Christmas birthdays, either of the big day itself or around the festive period?

1.  Keep celebrations separate

It’s important to keep any celebrations separate, particularly if your child’s birthday is on Christmas Day itself, stresses Halsey. “If they’re having a party, hold it the week before or after Christmas Day,” she advises, “and perhaps give the party a theme centred around something they’re passionate about to really highlight the difference.”

Bourlet suggests contacting the parents of children invited to the birthday party well in advance to find out dates their children would be able to attend. “It’s risky to pick a date too close to Christmas as many parents may have to cancel due to family plans,” he says. “There’s nothing wrong with picking a date a couple of weeks in advance, and it’s better to do it before their birthday rather than afterwards.”

2.  Have birthday decorations

If your child’s birthday falls just before Christmas, try to ensure no Christmas decorations are up in the room where you celebrate their birthday, so the themes don’t get crossed over, says Bourlet. “Make sure you place birthday decorations where you can for their big day, and make them feel like it’s their special day,” he advises.

3. Turn the Christmas tree into a ‘birthday tree’If you’ve got the Christmas decorations up, child and behavioural expert Amanda Jenner (amandajenner.com) suggests: “Turn the tree into a birthday extravaganza tree for the day with balloons and ribbons,” she says. “Make sure you have the birthday banners up too!”

4.  Give separate presents

Halsey says having separate presents for birthday and Christmas is an important signal to your child that they aren’t missing out compared with their siblings or friends, and Bourlet stresses that families should be careful not to combine gifts where possible.

He says: “There may be a birthday present which requires another part which is given on Christmas Day. This can cause frustration, so split the gifts carefully and make sure they’re completely separate in nature.”

5.  Have half the day as a birthday

One way of dealing with a birthday on Christmas Day itself is to do ‘half days’, where the morning is treated like Christmas, with stockings etc, and the afternoon is treated like a birthday. “This helps to separate them slightly,” says Bourlet. “You can also ensure they feel like it’s their birthday rather than just Christmas by having birthday games set up, and you might want to ditch the Christmas-themed movie and opt for a great film they love instead.”

6.  Don’t wrap birthday presents in festive paper

Don’t be tempted to wrap any birthday gifts in all the Christmas paper you’ll have lying around. Childcare expert Kathryn Lord, who runs the More to Organising website (moretoorganising.com) to help people organise with their child in mind, says: “It’s OK for the paper to be Christmas-coloured, e.g. red or green, but don’t use Christmas-patterned paper to make sure they know their gift is special and just for their day.”

7.  Make sure family and friends follow your lead

Tell your family and friends how you’re trying to keep your child’s birthday separate from Christmas, advises Jenner, who says to lay down some rules: “No combined birthday/Christmas presents from family and friends, no Christmas wrapping, and only birthday-specific cards from them.”

8.  Get them a birthday message from Santa

Alexandre Berard of Portable North Pole (portablenorthpole.com), which arranges videos and phone calls to children from Santa, says: “We understand that children with a birthday during the festive season can often feel overlooked, so we’ve created a series of festive birthday videos that parents can personalise for their child and download.”

The personalised videos feature Santa wishing children happy birthday, an image of the birthday boy or girl, their name and details personal to them including what’s on their birthday wish list. “It helps parents show children Santa knows it’s their birthday and it’s an occasion in its own right,” adds Berard.

9.  Look for the positives

Try to come up with some positives of a Christmas birthday together, suggests Halsey. “Things like they’ll never have to go to school or work on their big day, they’ll get to see extended family members, and people will make an extra effort to wish them a happy birthday.

“It’s important to help them feel as special as they would with a birthday at any other time, and see beyond any of the potential downsides.”