Abbey's Road: Dialing into the teen phone scene
This Christmas Mr. Roy and I took the plunge and bought Bookworm, who is 13, her first smartphone.
After a great deal of research and numerous pros/cons exchanges via email, we opted for a company that markets devices specifically for the younger set — in our case, with no internet, a small handful of approved apps (including weather and a calculator, because you never know when you might urgently need to calculate the approximate path of an impending tornado), capabilities for calling and texting pre-approved numbers, and a camera.We’re basically the meanest parents ever.
Despite its scaled-down fun factor, Bookworm was ecstatic to join Literally All Her Friends in the Smartphone Club, and the phone, outfitted in a glitzy translucent butterfly case, has indeed proven useful in emergency “Can I stay after school for math club?”-type situations.
In a post-landline era with a medical needs kid at home, this phone is everything we need it to be and not a mite more.
My favorite thing about it, though, is not that it saves me from having to wait outside the school an extra half hour for math club to be over, or that I don’t have to stay for the entirety of a figure skating session if I don’t want to, or that I have peace of mind when we go out to dinner while Bookworm watches her Type 1 diabetic and six-year-old sisters (though that is undoubtedly a boon).
It’s that we can finally have a family group text.
Though I wanted to wait as long as possible to allow Bookworm enter this realm of early adulthood, I was always a little envious of my friends with older kids who would talk about texting their kids during the day about random stuff that might otherwise get buried in the business of everyday life:
“Oh, I found the FUNNIEST pair of chicken leg socks at the store and I sent a pic to Billy and he loved them! He replied with this gif of a guy doing the chicken dance and I about died in the grocery line, I was laughing so hard.”
“We were driving around town and saw this car that looked like a hot dog and of course I sent it to our family group chat! We post crazy stuff at least every other day.”
“I was out on my walk today and someone drove by blasting a Backstreet Boys song out their window, and I had to send my girl a video of myself singing along to prove that I knew every word!”
Of course, these random incidents may have made it all the way to dinnertime conversation — or maybe not. But I always admired how these families had an extra way of staying in touch, even if it was just for a quick laugh or silly video.
And that has been a fun thing about having a kid with a cell phone.
Since, aside from taking selfies and videos and checking the weather, texting is basically the only entertainment this phone has to offer, Bookworm has made full use of that particular asset.
On our 10-hour road trip home from Connecticut, the family group chat with me, Bookworm, my brother and our parents (her grandparents) was pure gold, complete with Grandpa-approved puns, random restaurant photos, tween text lingo loosely translated by me and even a gif of a grizzly bear.
Today I got a text from Bookworm that they were on a bowling field trip and there weren’t enough shoes for everyone, so they had to bowl in their socks.
And the image of dozens of middle schoolers slipping and sliding around a bowling alley with 10-pound bowling balls in their hands has been what’s getting me through this morning. (Also I’m pretty certain we’ll never see those socks again).
You know, it’s hard enough to maintain an open line of communication with your teen when they’re busy with school and sports and friends and trying to find their way in life. I was opposed to phones for a long time, but I think if you work to strike a balance, it can end up being a blessing.
If only for that fleeting afternoon laugh — because you never know when you might need a pick-me-up.
Abbey Roy is a mom of three girls who make every day an adventure. She writes to maintain her sanity. You can probably reach her at amroy@nncogannett.com, but responses are structured around bedtimes and weekends.
This article originally appeared on Newark Advocate: Abbey finds there are benefits to her teen having a phone
