Some advice for churches on the brink of 'divorce': Art Marmorstein
Do you want to be happy for the rest of your life? If the Greek philosopher Diogenes was right, you can learn all the secrets of happiness just by watching your dog.
Dogs are happy creatures, free from needless worry. They don’t worry about their dignity. They don’t worry about the dignity of other dogs either. They don’t worry about material possessions. And, particularly important, they don’t worry about mortgages.
It would be foolish for him to worry about a home, said Diogenes, when the public building of Athens provided surroundings more splendid than any individual Athenian could afford for himself.
In Aberdeen too, it’s the shared spaces that make all of us truly wealthy. We’ve got all sorts of splendid places to spend our time: schools, parks, libraries, gyms, restaurants, stores, and other businesses. Add to this, dozens of beautiful, joyful, and welcoming churches.
For more than a decade now, Faith United Methodist (our “home” church) has been particularly special to us, a peaceful refuge when life is troubled, and a place of extra joy when life is going fine.
As with many churches, Faith has its early birds, folk who show up long before the service begins for coffee and conversation. It has its “don’t want to leave” crowd, folk who continue the coffee and conversation long after the service is over. It’s a great space to hang out, made beautiful initially by the generous giving of people now long gone and kept beautiful by the people who love the church and want it to continue to be a refuge in time of storm.
But there’s trouble on the horizon. The issues that divide the nation are dividing churches as well, and, at the national and worldwide level, the United Methodist Church is on the verge of a major split.
Church splits are like divorces: ugly, painful, and to be avoided whenever possible.
For some of us, listening to the pain reflected in country music break-up songs is a powerful reminder to keep our own marriages strong. Maybe churches need a few mournful break-up songs in the hymnal just to remind us of where we really don’t want to go.
But it might be more effective to sing one of the songs where a couple on the verge of break-up stays together after all.
More than 50 years ago, Jean Shepard and Ray Pillow sang a duet about a newly-divorced couple trying to figure out how to divide their property. An easy task—until they came to the one thing neither husband nor wife would give up: the dog. “I’ll take the dog,” each insists, but it’s clear neither side is going to give in. They finally see that the only solution is to stay together after all: they both take the dog.
Now I’d like to see one of our contemporary Christian music artists come up with something along the same lines, singing first about all the things that are easy enough to divide.
“You can take the hymnals and the banners on the wall, and all the potluck dishes by the sink.”
“You can take the keyboard and the folding metal chairs, and the sound system that’s always on the blink.”
Yes: the material possession of churches can be divided amicably enough. But isn’t there something both sides of a split absolutely need, something that can’t be divided? What about the gospel message itself, the message of joy, justice, peace, mercy, forgiveness and love? Which side is going to get that?
Well, there have been variations on this plot for centuries. From the Christological Controversies of the 4th century to the Great Schism of the Middle Ages, through the Reformation, and in every era since, large-scale divisions have plagued the church. Individual congregations, too, seem to find long-term unity illusive. The best efforts of peacemakers often go for nothing.
Yes, we’ve seen this movie played out many a time, and the end is entirely predictable.
Spoiler alert: the ending isn’t happy. The dog dies.
Art Marmorstein, Aberdeen, is a professor of history at Northern State University.
This article originally appeared on Aberdeen News: Some advice for churches on the brink of 'divorce': Art Marmorstein
