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Late Late, Ahoy! The Corden Cruise Draws Closer - Corden Catch-Up

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Some of our favorite monologue moments from the week of May 10th, which was all about securing a week of shows aboard a cruise ship where, let's be honest, not a lot of work will be done. Topics include: emails from Sir Richard Branson, sea sickness, and a new yacht for Jeff Bezos.

Video Transcript

- From the start of the show, I've just been doing this behind the desk.

[LAUGHTER]

And I don't know why that's funny, but it always will be.

REGGIE WATTS: Yeah.

JAMES CORDEN: From, there was a second, I thought how long can I keep this going for.

REGGIE WATTS: It's so nice to see a real world emoji.

JAMES CORDEN: Exactly what it is.

REGGIE WATTS: Yeah. It's exactly, that's perfect.

[CROWD CHEERING]

JAMES CORDEN: I'm in a slight Monday funk. I'm not going to lie.

REGGIE WATTS: Yeah.

JAMES CORDEN: I know.

IAN KARMEL: He died over the weekend.

JAMES CORDEN: He died over the weekend.

[LAUGHTER]

We should start with that. At the end of the taping of the show on Thursday, we said Nick come down. And he fell, his head hit every single shelf. Ian ran over to him and he was all over the place. He said, Nick, Nick, are you OK? Are you OK? And he said, he put his hand up, and he said, just make sure you get on that cruise ship. And he just. Nick, are we have to share this on the show?

NICK BERNSTEIN: I guess so.

[LAUGHTER]

JAMES CORDEN: You don't have to say it like that. No. Over the weekend I got an email from Richard Branson himself. Direct to my inbox.

REGGIE WATTS: Sir Richard?

JAMES CORDEN: Saying, yes, Sir Richard Branson, saying, hey, seen everything you're doing about this week, want to be on a cruise ship. Virgin are launching our new cruise ship. We were supposed to launch last year because the pandemic. We're launching it. We'd love nothing more than all of you guys to come and do a week of shows on Virgin cruises. What's the latest with it, Nick? Are we in chats with them? I forwarded it on to you.

NICK BERNSTEIN: We are, yeah. I am now in direct communication with the heads of Carnival Cruise.

JAMES CORDEN: Yeah, but what about Virgin? You're in good with the heads of Carnival Cruise. To be clear, are you talking to the heads of Carnival Cruise or are you talking to Sir Richard Branson?

NICK BERNSTEIN: I'm not trying to compete here.

JAMES CORDEN: I am.

NICK BERNSTEIN: I haven't talked to you know Bartholemew Carnival or whoever is in charge of Carnival Cruise.

REGGIE WATTS: Bartholomew.

JAMES CORDEN: Either way, I think it still stands that if we can bring this home, we get 70% of the money.

ROB CRABBE: And Nick's leaving out important detail.

JAMES CORDEN: Go on.

ROB CRABBE: There's a third party in the bidding war.

JAMES CORDEN: What!

REGGIE WATTS: What!

[SHIP HORN BLARING]

JAMES CORDEN: Hang on. There's three different cruise companies, right. Hey, Can the response be this? I don't see the three of them as being mutually exclusive.

[LAUGHTER]

NICK BERNSTEIN: Yes.

JAMES CORDEN: I say we just go from one boat to the next to the next. We'll see the whole world, guys!

REGGIE WATTS: That's the right way.

JAMES CORDEN: Come on.

REGGIE WATTS: That's the right way.

JAMES CORDEN: Any news, Nick?

NICK BERNSTEIN: On, on which, which thing? We've talked about so many products today.

JAMES CORDEN: No. Not this. You know what we're talking about with.

[SHIP HORN BLARING]

Any news?

NICK BERNSTEIN: Things are in, there's a lot of calls that are happening very soon.

JAMES CORDEN: I got another email from Sir Richard Branson this morning.

REGGIE WATTS: Yes.

JAMES CORDEN: Another email that said, loved the show. Said loved the show last night, I'm imagining you haven't heard from Bartholemew Carnival.

[LAUGHTER]

True story.

REGGIE WATTS: Yeah.

JAMES CORDEN: True story. Haven't heard from Bartholemew Carnival. There's only one ship you should be sailing on and, do I need to remind you, that Virgin cruises are adults only.

REGGIE WATTS: Oh.

JAMES CORDEN: And I thought, and then put, and I thought you guys were the "Late Late Show."

REGGIE WATTS: Damn.

JAMES CORDEN: I think that's the one we got to go for.

REGGIE WATTS: Wow.

JAMES CORDEN: I think we got to go for it. Provided that boat is somewhere hot and luscious, 100%. When I told Rob the email he went, oh, how am I going to get the kids on? No one's bringing their kids, Rob. We'll be lucky if we do the shows, I'll be so drunk. So can we lock this Virgin thing down, Nick, because I don't want to keep talking about this every day.

REGGIE WATTS: Yeah.

NICK BERNSTEIN: Yeah. I don't either. Do you.

[LAUGHTER]

IAN KARMEL: I think we let the, I think we let the cruise ship companies know that the most important ship is a relationship, and there's a good way to start one.

JAMES CORDEN: Absolutely. Absolutely right. Absolutely right. I mean, how many of us would be going, Rob? On the boat.

ROB CRABBE: I think we try and get as many people on as possible. Bring everybody.

JAMES CORDEN: But how many people work on the show?

ROB CRABBE: 125.

JAMES CORDEN: 125. That's what we need. That's all we need, Nick. We need 124 rooms and one presidential suite.

[LAUGHTER]

I don't know if this is, I don't know if you're talking about this, Nick. I don't know if we're OK. I've heard there's been a cruise update. Is this right?

ROB CRABBE: There is a cruise update.

JAMES CORDEN: What's the cruise update?

ROB CRABBE: Um, I was on a very high-level cruise call today with all the bigwigs at both our company and theirs. And they want to make this happen very badly.

REGGIE WATTS: Wow.

JAMES CORDEN: Guys. Guys!

[SHIP HORN BLARING]

Can I just, the only thing I want to make sure is in the agreement, the contract, if we go and do these shows on a cruise ship, is that there is nowhere in that contract that says that the shows have to be good.

[LAUGHTER]

Because that's, I think that's my worry. That my worry is I'm going on holiday. That's what I'm doing. I'm going on holiday with a group of friends. We just happened to, and I think we don't run that tape more than 42 minutes. We just do it straight. Like, you know what I mean? That's it's. 42 minutes.

REGGIE WATTS: Yeah.

JAMES CORDEN: That's it. We shoot a segment at the buffet, segment up with the captain, done.

IAN KARMEL: If it's 42 minutes, I'll wear a little sailor outfit with their logo on it.

JAMES CORDEN: Exactly. Yeah. Oh, we'll do the whole thing, we'll do a song about, you know, we're all at sea or something. Like, you know, we'll come up with something to make it feel like we've made an effort but we won't.

I just want them to go into this with their eyes open. That what we're trying to get is a free holiday. The show aspect if anything is it is a downer on it.

NICK BERNSTEIN: Maybe their eyes don't have to be quite this open, though. Let's just put, let's, you know.

JAMES CORDEN: You think this is a money spinner?

NICK BERNSTEIN: I'm just saying I did so much good work today, and I don't want you to backtrack it right now in to a conversation.

JAMES CORDEN: OK. Sure. Understood. Are we genuinely up for this cruise, gang? Because I feel like what started as a joke is now really happening. And I want us all to just be, as a group, in on this. Dave? Are you in on this?

DAVE PIENDAK: I get really seasick. I've been on a cruise once.

JAMES CORDEN: Oh, well then there's is 5 minutes of the show. We'll just follow you around the boat. That's fantastic.

DAVE PIENDAK: I mean listen, James, you know me. I'm a team player, I'll do anything for the show. But I'm just warning you that I'll be very woozy the entire time.

JAMES CORDEN: OK.

IAN KARMEL: We'll play spill your guts and spill your guts with Dave.

[LAUGHTER]

JAMES CORDEN: So if anyone else has got any issues about this cruise ship, speak now or forever hold your peace because these.

NICK BERNSTEIN: No, hold. Hold, hold your peace.

JAMES CORDEN: What? Not speak now?

NICK BERNSTEIN: Not a few have reservations.

JAMES CORDEN: Nick we're in the trust tree. We're, Nick, Nick. Nick, Nicholas. Yeah, I went for Nicholas. Just like it's important as a group, we come together in the trust tree, no one falls, everyone can talk. What's your-- Reg, you've got a, what's up?

REGGIE WATTS: Well, I'm just concerned that it's going to be like, like too good of an experience and then it's going to create a lot of positivity.

JAMES CORDEN: That is the attitude.

[APPLAUSE]

REGGIE WATTS: So.

JAMES CORDEN: That's the attitude.

REGGIE WATTS: Yeah. Well, a little concerned.

JAMES CORDEN: Well, good update, Nick. Have you got your own light now, Nick? Have you asked for that? Your own spotlight.

NICK BERNSTEIN: Did I ask? I didn't ask for any of this.

[LAUGHTER]

JAMES CORDEN: Amazon founder, Jeff Bezos, is making headlines because he just purchased a $500 million superyacht. Apparently, the yacht is so big it has its own support yacht with a helipad.

Sounds like an old-time comedians routine, doesn't it? Jeff Bezos is so rich, even his boats have got boats. Bezos is so rich when he goes the ATM, the ATM asks him for money. Truth is Bezos didn't really need the support yacht but Amazon did one of those up sells where they were like, people who buy this also buy this.

In a related story, in a related story, guys, big news, guess who's doing a week of shows from Jeff Bezos' is superyacht, baby!

[SHIP HORN BLARING]