Aldi Is Selling Chocolate Cherry Cheesecake and Carrot Cake Dessert Hummus

In this new, quarantined world, the fundamentals of our relationship with food has changed. The fact that we can’t go to restaurants and are having a harder than usual time finding what we need at grocery stores sucks, only compounding the stress many of us already feel. There is one silver lining to all of this sheltering in place, though: we can eat pretty much whatever we want at home away from our judgmental peers.

If you really want to lean into that by using this time to try out an abomination of a food that probably shouldn't exist, well, Aldi has just the ticket. Behold two incredibly odd flavors of dessert hummus, which is itself already a questionable concept.

Yup, that’s right: Carrot Cake and Chocolate Cherry Cheesecake. These sweet takes on the chickpea-based spread are both real, vegan, and gluten free, as if potential dietary issues were the only thing stopping you from trying this stuff out.

Let’s break it down, shall we? First, Carrot Cake dessert hummus. It’s odd, but understandable: by its nature, a carrot cake is a bit less sweet and a bit more creamy than most cakes. That’s not to mention that carrots can work their way into “normal” hummus. I wouldn’t reach for it myself, but given that dessert hummus is too much of A Thing to be stopped at this point, I have no choice but to begrudgingly allow it.

However, Chocolate Cherry Cheesecake is where the line must be drawn. Is that even a real type of cheesecake that people eat? It doesn’t even look to be a standard menu item at the Cheesecake Factory, which is a strong indicator that you should probably dial it back a bit. Also, there isn’t even a tenuous connection between cheesecake and the Middle Eastern culinary world that birthed chickpea-based hummus. Now, I’m just picturing a cheesecake made out of chickpeas, and… no.

So if you’re worried about shoppers snatching up all of the good desserts in these strange days, just know that this dessert hummus probably won’t be flying off the shelves. If Aldi somehow does sell out of this stuff, then we’re really in trouble.