Allison Holker hasn't danced since the death of her husband, Stephen 'Twitch' Boss

Allison Holker Boss is opening up four months after her husband, Stephen “Twitch” Boss, died by suicide.

The professional dancer, who met her late husband through the dance competition franchise they both appeared on, “So You Think You Can Dance,” told People magazine in an interview published Tuesday: "Our love was so real and so loud. We always told people our house was like a choreographed dance.

“No one had any inkling that he was low. He didn’t want people to know,” the 35-year-old dancer continued. “He just wanted to be everyone’s Superman and protector.

“It’s been really hard because I can’t understand what was happening in that moment [he died],” she said, adding that, when talking to her husband since his death, she's looked to the stars.

“Stars are so important to me because that’s where we believe he is. I knew I wanted to have him find peace,” she said. “I was under the stars by myself and I told him, ‘I forgive you, and I hope you’re with us.’ Talking to him and expressing all those emotions of forgiveness and sadness but also love and joy was so healing.”

Holker Boss, an Emmy-nominated choreographer and “Dancing With the Stars" alum, told Dance Spirit in 2012 that she was the one who made the moves on Twitch: “I didn’t just make one move — I made, like, 10 moves and he wasn’t seeing them, so I had to put myself out there even more. From the first week of ‘SYTYCD’ as All-Stars, I thought he was the cutest guy ever. His personality was so fun.”

Their love story sprang from their shared love of dance. Their first romantic encounter happened at the "SYTYCD" Season 7 wrap party, where they finally grooved together for hours after years of crushing on each other from afar.

When Twitch proposed in 2013, it was after the couple shot a Microsoft commercial together, and after the last dance of the day, he dropped to one knee with the cameras still rolling.

Throughout their marriage, the artistic duo posted choreographed dance videos on Instagram, often incorporating their three children, Weslie,14, Maddox, 7, and Zaia, 3, and writing that dance was their love language.

Holker Boss told People that the trauma of her husband’s sudden death took a physical toll. “You’re trying to help yourself and help your children and friends and family,” she said. “Literally getting up in the morning was getting harder and harder.”

She started “cold-plunging at night” to help her body release tension. “It’s now a part of my daily practice,” she continued. “Spiritually and mentally, it’s really helped as well.”

But Holker Boss revealed that she still hadn't brought herself to dance without Twitch.

“Dancing with him was so special,” she said, “I haven’t danced yet. That’s gonna be a big step for me, but I know that I’ll get there. He’s guiding me on this path.”

She’s also left his things in their home untouched, saying, “There's so much of his love in this house."

The beloved “Ellen DeGeneres Show” DJ died on Dec. 13 of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in a motel in Encino. He left a note before he died, and the contents alluded to “past challenges” and led investigators to conclude Boss’ death was a suicide, according to people familiar with the investigation. He was 40 years old.

DeGeneres paid tribute to her sidekick after the news broke.

“I’m heartbroken,” she wrote in the caption of an Instagram photo of her and Boss embracing on the "Ellen" set. “tWitch was pure love and light. He was my family, and I loved him with all my heart. I will miss him. Please send your love and support to Allison and his beautiful children — Weslie, Maddox, and Zaia.”

“To say he left a legacy would be an understatement, and his positive impact will continue to be felt,” Holker said in a statement provided to The Times.

“I am certain there won’t be a day that goes by that we won’t honor his memory. We ask for privacy during this difficult time for myself and especially for our three children. Stephen, we love you, we miss you, and I will always save the last dance for you.”

This story originally appeared in Los Angeles Times.