‘Always there to cheer you on.’ Midlands mourns coach many compared to a father
Theodius Oates Jr. was a Lower Richland giant.
Oates and his family made a home in the area decades ago. He became a familiar face, not just because he was a championship-winning football and basketball coach at Southeast Middle School, but because of his constant presence in the community, friends and family said. Oates passed away on June 19 at just 66 years old.
State Rep. Jermaine Johnson had known Oates and his family for many years. He lives just a mile from their home near Caughman Road Park. He remembers seeing Oates riding his bike and shooting hoops and giving advice. Oates, Johnson said, was loyal.
“We knew he was going to show up. We knew he was going to be there. We knew he was going to tell it like it is,” Johnson said. “He was a man’s man. A lot of us, we just didn’t have a man’s man in our lives.”
Oates, a military brat, was born in Texas and moved state to state. He attended Western Carolina University and met his wife, Janice, in Fayetteville, North Carolina. The couple settled in South Carolina in the mid-1980s, and he dedicated the rest of his life to serving the students of Richland School District 1.
Before he became a fixture of the community, he was a special education teacher at Olympia School. And when Southeast Middle School opened in 1999, he was a founding faculty member who helped welcome students through the doors — one of which happened to be his son Theodius Oates III. He remained a part of the fabric of the school for almost 25 years.
Those who knew him said that Oates was a stoic character. But when he opened his mouth, he was a straight-shooter who spoke his mind. Oates was loyal, a God-fearing family man, and he stuck up not only for his own kids, but all of Lower Richland’s kids. He lived by example, loved to crack a joke and hated to lose.
During his 37-year tenure with the district, on top of being a special education teacher, Oates spent time as a physical education teacher, an athletic director and a coach for Southeast Middle’s football team, and both of the school’s basketball teams. He retired in 2013, only to come back as a campus monitor and coach.
“A lot of it came down to ... the actual kids wanting him to come back,” said Theo Oates, his son. “Him being open and present, it gave them a father figure.”
Even growing up, Theo and his sister had to share their dad. But they didn’t mind — it made them proud.
“Because he was always present, I just assumed that’s what all dads did,” Theo Oates said. “Some of those kids had never been in a situation where they had a father figure like that.”
Oates’ honesty and consistency commanded respect, Johnson said, from the respectful kids and the unruly kids.
“He was the father a lot of young Black men didn’t have,” said Johnson, a Democrat whose district includes a large portion of Lower Richland. “He was always there to cheer you on. We don’t have a lot of that anymore in these communities. .... He was a father 24/7, he was a coach 24/7, he was a mentor 24/7, he was a teacher 24/7. It’s a void that’s going to be felt.”
Johnson said the community will miss Oates dearly.
“Our LR Community has lost a GIANT of a man. A role model, a father to MANY including biologically and non-biological, a cheerleader, a fan of young people,” Johnson wrote in a Facebook post. “Mr. Oates was an Original Man.”
June Page, an assistant principal at Southeast Middle who recently retired, said Oates was tough but stable and patient, and students found credibility in him. If Oates saw potential in a student, academic or athletic, he would nurture it, Page said. He wanted them to see the bigger picture of life, and taught them to have goals.
“He wanted kids not only to win in sports, but win in life,” Page said.
Now, Richland 1 is considering naming the gymnasium at Southeast Middle School after Oates.
At the school board’s June 27 meeting, a little more than a week after Oates’ death, Chairwoman Cheryl Harris read a letter she received from a district parent on behalf of those on the Southeast Middle School football team.
“Coach Oates’ unwavering dedication and commitment to the young people of the Lower Richland community has been nothing short of amazing,” the letter read. “He has spent decades coaching and pouring into the lives of his students past and present.”
Harris said that though Oates was quiet and reserved, when he spoke, it meant something. And people listened.
“He didn’t do it for the money, but he did it for the passion and the love for kids,” Harris told The State. “I think that will forever be his legacy at Southeast Middle School and within the community.”
The board unanimously voted to form a committee on renaming the gym at Southeast Middle School after Oates.
“He loved Richland 1. He was a great plant that was planted in this community, and watered, and it brought forth much fruit. ... I believe that the renaming of this gym will be the way we continually reverence who he was,” Harris said. “His spirit will forever be in that building, in those halls.”
Oates has two grandchildren, Theo Oates said. They will one day attend Southeast Middle School and step on that gym floor to see their granddad’s legacy.
“That’s going to be a surreal moment,” he said.
