Amy Schumer Just Told Oprah Winfrey She Spends Her Days Cleaning Poop Off Of 'The Tiniest Pair Of Balls You've Ever Seen'
Amy Schumer joined Oprah Winfrey for the Charlotte, N.C. stop of her 2020 Vision: Your Life in Focus Tour with WW.
"I'm definitely hoping for two [kids], and maybe more," she told Oprah during the conversation.
The stop was the third on Oprah's tour, following a kickoff event in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, with Lady Gaga and then one in St. Paul, Minnesota, with Tina Fey.
Role play, motherhood, vision boards and, well, poop—they were all on the conversational menu when comedian Amy Schumer took the stage during the third stop of Oprah Winfrey’s 2020 Vision: Your Life in Focus Tour with WW on Saturday, Jan. 18 at the Spectrum Center in Charlotte, North Carolina
But top of mind for 38-year-old Amy was what she’d shared on Instagram last week: she wants her 8-month-old son Gene to have a sibling (or two), and she and her husband, chef Chris Fischer, are trying in vitro fertilization again to do it.
“I really hope our family grows,” Amy told Oprah in front of a sold-out crowd of 15,000 people. “I’m definitely hoping for two, and maybe more. I’ve really had a beautiful experience having a baby. It’s different for everyone. But I really have to recommend that, if you have the resources to have a baby, that you have a baby. It’s been so life changing for me."
A post shared by @ amyschumer on Jan 9, 2020 at 1:24pm PST
The day-long event was full of inspirational stories, energy, and setting intentions. Amy even did some vision-casting herself.
“What I see for my family, what I want, what I wish for...what I’m going to take steps toward, is health,” Amy told Oprah. “Keeping us all as healthy as possible. ...I picture us all on the beach together, me teaching maybe a little girl how to play volleyball.”
But, Amy added, life doesn’t always turn out how you envisioned it.
“Right now, most of my day is spent cleaning poop off the tiniest pair of balls you’ve ever seen in your life, just with a little cotton swab,” Amy said. “That was not on my vision board.”
Amy told Oprah she wasn’t sure she wanted kids at one point. And three months into her relationship with her now-husband, she told him that.
“I think a lot of us might identify with this,” Amy told Oprah. “When you start liking someone...you’re afraid of getting hurt, so you either sabotage it right away, or you just (know) how it’s going to end right away. We’re used to a level of control … So I was texting him early in our relationship and I said, ‘Just so you know, I don’t know if you want kids, so if that’s something you’re looking for, I don’t know if that’s going to be me.’ ”
He wrote right back, Amy said.
“He said, ‘I do want kids, and I want them with you. ...We’ll have a beautiful family, and I can’t wait.”
What did you do? Oprah asked Amy, laughing.
“I was standing in my closet,” Amy replied. “I had to hold the wall, hold on a minute.”
But it’s that steady confidence, that self-assuredness that Amy said she has always loved about Fischer. That and his cooking (ICYMI, he’s an award-winning chef and farmer dedicated to the farm-to-table movement).
This has been by far the best year of my life and I spent half of it vomiting everyday.
A post shared by @ amyschumer on Dec 29, 2019 at 9:12pm PST
“So how does being married to a chef work?” Oprah asked Amy. “Does it mean he’s fixing fancy things for you all the time?”
Amy laughed. “I want to say no because you guys will hate me. But, yes! Every night, bitches. ...It’s amazing. Whoever you’re with, dump them and find a chef.”
“So you don’t cook for him?” Oprah asked.
“No,” Amy replied. “And he doesn’t stand there and tell me jokes.”
But they do joke around all the time, she added.
“Chris and I, actually, we’ve been role playing,” Amy said. “I always go, ‘Okay, I’m in a coma.’ That’s my sex role play. I’m the laziest person you’ll ever meet.”
Oprah did ask Amy if any jokes are off-limits to her.
"I do think some things are off-limits," she said. "And I know that because I have said those jokes. It honestly just doesn't feel good. Like I used to do the […] Comedy Central roasts. And I realized, you think, 'Oh, nobody gets their feelings hurt, it's a roast.' People hurt your feelings. And I’ve had my feelings hurt. And so I don't want to hurt people's feelings. So if I think that there's someone out there and it's gonna hurt their feelings, I'm not gonna say it anymore."
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