‘An opportunity to help’: a few simple learnings from suicide prevention training
Paid for by Wounded Warrior Project
Social stigmas make certain topics difficult to breach, often hindering necessary and urgent conversations. And sometimes, the effect of that hindrance can mean the difference between life and death.
Regardless of how often people talk about it, suicide is all too common among the U.S. veteran population. The Watson Institute Costs of War study at Brown University reports that, among U.S. service members and veterans of the post-9/11 wars, more lives have been lost to suicide than war operations. The study calculates 7,052 U.S. service members have been killed in post-9/11 war operations and 30,177 U.S. service members and veterans of the post-9/11 wars took their own life.
For nearly 20 years, Wounded Warrior Project (WWP) has provided services to post-9/11 service members. Their staff is familiar with the most prominent mental health challenges and the veteran population’s vulnerability to suicidal ideation and behaviors — and feels the urgency to assist. The 2021 Wounded Warrior Project Annual Warrior Survey found that 48.2% of WWP warriors reported at least one instance of suicidal ideation in their lifetime, and 15.5% reported attempting suicide at least once.
I always look at it as an opportunity to help somebody in their journey of recovery.”Michelle Neary
Michelle Neary has worked at WWP for more than a decade. Over the years, she’s held various positions within the organization, most recently as a Warrior Care Network specialist supporting WWP’s partnership with four academic medical facilities across the country that deliver intensive outpatient therapy to warriors living with PTSD and a host of other conditions.
Through her experience, Neary’s learned firsthand that people can be scared about asking someone open and direct questions about possible thoughts of suicide yet encourages people to see it as an opportunity to help — maybe save their life. “I always look at it as an opportunity to help somebody in their journey of recovery,” she says. “Sometimes, it might not be so obvious, but they want to live. They want you to help them. To me, I feel really empowered if not honored that I'm in that situation.”
Neary leads the charge on the nonprofit’s commitment to suicide prevention, which includes various initiatives around training for WWP staff and alumni, veteran family members and caretakers, as well as community partners.
“Normalizing talking about suicide, breaking down the stigma and taboo that surround the topic, is so important,” Neary says. “Suicide can be prevented, and with the right tools, folks feel empowered to recognize when somebody might be at risk.” Neary knows that you don’t have to be a mental health specialist to help someone who is struggling. Here are a few of her learnings that encourage confidence in offering support.
Neary explains that there are many different signs that someone could be struggling with suicidal ideation. You may notice behavioral signs such as self-isolation, recklessness or mood swings between anger and depression. You may hear a verbal cue that something is wrong, such as someone talking about their life having no purpose and being a burden to their family and friends. Signs can stem from apparent struggles with finances, veterans benefits, legal issues or a family tragedy such as divorce or untimely death.
“Really, anything can be an invitation,” Neary says, explaining that the point is not to become a mental health professional in recognizing hints of suicidal ideation or suicidal behaviors. The point is to notice if something feels off and you trust your gut reaction to start a conversation.
If you’re worried someone may be suicidal, just ask them. Suicide prevention trainings stress the importance of asking open and direct questions: “Are you thinking about suicide?” "Are you thinking about killing yourself?" You can’t know for sure whether or not they're thinking about suicide unless you've asked them.
Asking someone if they are considering suicide also can show that you’re paying attention and that you see they’re struggling. “You're letting that person know that if they are thinking about suicide, you're OK with hearing them say yes,” Neary says. “That's a really big piece, too.”
You're letting that person know that if they are thinking about suicide, you're OK with hearing them say yes."Michelle Neary
Making suicide a part of everyday conversation can help break down the stigma a veteran might be wrestling with. It can also negate the notion that asking for help is a weakness. People may think they’ll be rejected, lose their job or be criticized by their friends and family who don’t believe them. It’s helpful to assure the person that what they are going through is not uncommon, and their reaction to what they are experiencing is normal.
Neary says that often people are worried that if they bring up the topic of suicide, they might plant that seed of thought in someone’s head who wasn’t already thinking about or considering it. She asserts that is not the case. “People want you to ask them that open and direct question because it shows that you care,” she says. “If you think about it, somebody's been stuck in their own thoughts of suicide thinking, ‘Nobody cares about me,’ and ‘I'm all alone in all this.’ Being able to ask that question does a lot for that person to help them break down isolation and start connecting to support.”
Talking openly can show that you care, but the next step is to provide support in a nonjudgmental way, so the person knows they are not alone in their thoughts — that there is help for them. For many, that support is calling or texting a suicide prevention hotline, such as the Veteran Crisis Hotline, which offers 24/7 support.
There is one simple message Neary would like veterans to know: “Reaching out for help is not a weakness, it's a strength. It's about helping support them in that way at that moment and then connecting them with that resource that will further help them alleviate some of that.”
If you, a veteran, or a veteran you know is considering suicide, please call the Veteran Crisis Hotline at 988 (and press 1) or send a text to the Veteran Crisis Textline at 838255.
____
From Wounded Warrior Project:
Wounded Warrior Project is a nonprofit organization established to support and address the physical and mental health needs of post-9/11 injured veterans and their families. To learn more, visit woundedwarriorproject.org. If you know a warrior that could benefit from Wounded Warrior Project, have them reach out. Visit woundedwarriorproject.org/programs/wwp-registration to learn more.
You can help wounded warriors reclaim their lives from trauma and injury. Give to Wounded Warrior Project today.
This article was sponsored by Wounded Warrior Project and co-created by Yahoo Creative Studios. Yahoo News editorial staff did not participate in the creation of this content.
