Angel: First Christmas without Mom marked by grief, joy and sweet memories
Christmas always belonged to Mom.
When she’d start dashing through December, the rest of us were just along for the ride. And what a ride it was.
She loved all of it – attending church services, listening to and singing Christmas music, going shopping, giving presents, hosting and attending parties and baking cookies.
And in her later years, watching Christmas movies on the Hallmark Channel.
One couldn’t help but be in the Christmas spirit when Mom was around.
That’s what makes this Christmas different. Mom isn’t here. She died in July just hours after I sat with her while a Christmas movie played in the background.
It feels wrong to be laughing, singing and celebrating this Christmas without her. Yet I know that’s exactly what she’d want us to be doing. ‘Tis the season and all.
So we’re trying – and succeeding more often than not. The Christmas cookies are baked. The Christmas tree is up, full of ornaments that evoke decades of memories. The nativity scene of my childhood is now on display in my own home, not Mom’s.
Because Mom is no longer here. It’s a truth I have to keep repeating because sometimes I forget she’s gone.
But I will never forget she was here. Her influence is everywhere – in the children she and my father raised, the friendships she cultivated, the traditions she established, the grandchildren she spoiled and the spirit she shared generously with everyone.
My grief is not unique. Death is a part of life and the loss of a parent can knock a person off balance. Some days are harder than others. Our minds want us to press forward; our hearts prompt us to feel.
My mom would urge us to follow our hearts wherever they may lead. Hers led her to live a life of service and kindness. Maybe that’s why Christmas was her favorite season.
Indeed, Christmas will be different this year without Mom. And yet somehow it will be the same – because her spirit lives on in us and our traditions.
Stephanie Angel is the executive editor of the Lansing State Journal. Contact her at sangel@lsj.com.
This article originally appeared on Lansing State Journal: Angel: First Christmas without Mom marked by grief, joy, sweet memories
