Apple's wild instructions for cleaning your Apple Card are inspiring lots of memes
The Apple Card finally launched in the U.S. on Wednesday, and with it came a set of extremely specific care instructions. Why do you need care instructions for a credit card, you ask? Well, this isn't just any credit card. It's a credit card that makes you better than other people.
Here's how Apple wants you to care for your special hunk of titanium. First, you must store the card in a slot in your wallet without it touching any other cards. (If you don't, you could damage the card's white coating, Apple says.) When it's time to clean your card, the company recommends "gently [wiping] with a soft, slightly damp, lint-free microfiber cloth," then moistening another microfiber cloth with isopropyl alcohol and wiping the card again. And please keep your precious wealth rectangle away from harmful materials, including leather (the stuff used to make wallets) and denim (the stuff used to make a lot of pants).
Of course, these suggestions are absolutely wild, but people will probably still abide by them. So, as you tuck your new Apple Card into a buttery lambskin iPouch, please enjoy a few jokes on the subject.
siri what are most wallets made of
siri whats the most common material used in pants https://t.co/62Ayd8bBkW— admiral ron of the crustacean nation (@ronnyravegan) August 21, 2019
SEE ALSO: Apple’s Siri may have recorded you having sex
"Don’t put the Apple Card in your wallet. Hang in a floating glass frame in a dimly lit, year round 70 degree, humidity controlled location. No flash photography please." https://t.co/HQXceki4Qf
— Mac Cormier (@maccormier) August 21, 2019
Apple is definitely launching these LMAO #AppleCard pic.twitter.com/6KlDOVpWuS
— E L Z E 🇳🇬 (@LexMoniyi) August 22, 2019
“Hello! I I am here to pay with my Apple Card!” pic.twitter.com/EpMIOEPe08
— Chris D'Elia (@chrisdelia) August 22, 2019
Problem solved, ladies. pic.twitter.com/NyGoQ0X8mQ
— smaverick (@smaverick1) August 22, 2019
Apple to release “Apple Card Cloth” in 2020. $789.
— Angel Bernard (@KeepUpWAngel) August 22, 2019
20% discount if you buy the $1145 Apple pants at the same time. Bulk discount prices available if you bundle in the non-discoloring wallet. See store for details.
— real_sgafan (@real_sgafan) August 22, 2019
so you know that apple credit card you can't put in a wallet or pants?
apple wallet
calling it now
screen cap this i'm confident— ⛧🜏 zoe no🏳️⚧️ ⋅⍼ ❽ - Twitter Ambas📦📦📦📦📦➐ (@yourcompanionAI) August 22, 2019
Apple needed Steve Harvey to come to a meeting and have them name the top two places people keep their credit card. https://t.co/sqiiPPUzl7
— James O'Hara (@nextyeardc) August 21, 2019
.@Apple says clean Apple Card with an essential oils-soaked citrus peel and store it in a climate-controlled vault accessible only by those who solve the riddle of the Sphinx
— kyla (@whatkyIasaid) August 22, 2019
WATCH: How to clean up iCloud storage without paying for more
