Archbishop of Canterbury and Chief Rabbi talk candidly about their experience of losing a child
The Archbishop of Canterbury and Chief Rabbi have spoken of their shared experience of losing a child and still being “caught by surprise” by grief.
Both the Most Rev Justin Welby and Chief Rabbi, Ephraim Mirvis, have experienced the loss of a child.
Johanna Welby was seven months old when she died in a car crash in 1983, while the Chief Rabbi’s daughter, Liora, died of cancer in 2011 aged 30, leaving behind a husband and two children.
Through their roles as religious leaders but also through this shared experience, the religious leaders have become close friends.
Speaking on BBC Radio 4’s Today Programme on Tuesday as part of the National Grief Awareness Week, the Archbishop said: “Sometimes you're just caught by surprise.
“There are days that are predictable. And then there are other days when suddenly something happens. It happened to me a couple of weeks ago, and I just suddenly thought, what would she be like?”
Asked about the impact of grief on the President-Elect Joe Biden, who lost his first wife and daughter in a car crash in 1972, Welby added: “It's not that he became president despite or because of [his grief]. I think he will be a profoundly different president, because of his experience of grief, which is extraordinary”.
Reflecting on this year and the loss many people will be experiencing, the Most Rev Welby said: “I think for people around this country around the world, more than a million dead around the world this Christmas, there will be an empty chair.
“And it will be painful, deeply painful. I think I'd want to say be kind to yourselves. Give yourself time. Talk about the person. Be honest about your grief and your loss, that you miss them. There's no harm in tears”.
The Chief Rabbi added: “No two bereavements are the same. If anybody comes along and says, I know exactly what you're going through, they don't. Because grief is something personal.
“When one has suffered a deep loss, it's with one for the rest of one's life. And one thinks of the person every single day, and there is sadness”.
