Area dads find support, connection in Fathers First

Feb. 20—Dr. Joe Cassady said that Fathers First was a product of anger.

After becoming involved with the Alcohol Chemical Treatment Series at Truth Tabernacle Church in Olivehurst, Cassidy sought to establish a similar program for fathers seeking to better themselves and their families.

"I saw that there weren't any groups out there for fathers, so we had to change that," Cassady said.

Established in 1994, Fathers First is a support group initially geared to provide men with a history of substance abuse the opportunity to explore core values of fatherhood. Today, the group is open to anyone wanting to become a better dad.

Pastor John Thomas, a Fathers First organizer, said that the group is designed for fathers of all ages with a focus on maximizing knowledge, imparting healthy coping skills, and encouraging family involvement.

"Fathers face all the common struggles. What's the importance of a father? What's our place in a child's life? Are we still relevant today? Do children need a father and a mother? All things of that nature," Thomas said.

According to Cassady, parenting programs like Fathers First are among the most effective at reducing recidivism rates in communities. Thomas said that as a drug counseling program, Fathers First is often recommended through local probation offices to fulfill parole or probation requirements.

"We think that a problem in the world is often a problem in the home, and a problem in the home is often an absent dad," Cassady said. "80% of men in prison come from fatherless homes, and all those things sort of reinforce the idea that we need a program for fathers in our area."

The program is a six month commitment with two meetings each week including a group counseling session and a discussion highlighting different aspects of fatherhood and sober living. Members study values that are intrinsically tied to their role as parents including honesty, integrity and respect while discussing pragmatic aspects of parenthood such as anger management, financial literacy and relapse prevention.

"What I get out of this class is that it gives the tools to not just be a good dad, but a great dad," said Robert Jimenez, a Fathers First graduate and organizer.

Jimenez and several other members frequently cite a Bible verse as the core of Fathers First: As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. According to Jimenez, this represents accountability among the group and mutual support in their goals of becoming better fathers.

"We're just men trying to make other men into better men. ... For me, I get to stay connected with the place that helps men who want to become better fathers," he said.

For Adam Kelley, another Fathers First graduate, his involvement in the program helped him reunite with his children after struggling with addiction. He also found support with other members who experienced similar challenges with substance abuse and feeling disconnected with their families.

"Children spell love t-i-m-e not l-o-v-e. That was something I learned," Kelley said. "No matter where we come from, or our background, you see that as dads, we face a lot of the same challenges. If you're going through something for the first time, chances are someone here has already been through it or is going through it with you."

Cassady said that upon graduating from the program, members are gifted with a pocket watch to remind them of the importance of spending time with their families and to take an active role in their children's lives.

"Just the feeling that they finished something or got what we call the tools of the trade is always a celebration. Just seeing how far they've come; the changes are dramatic," Cassady said.