Arizona Rattlers RB Shannon Brooks wanted to die; now he wants to save lives
Arizona Rattlers running back Shannon Brooks wakes up, thanks God for another day, and writes in his journal.
Nothing so much about his comeback to football, playing for the first time since his college career ended at the University of Minnesota in 2019, or scoring five touchdowns and rushing for 105 yards in his Rattlers debut on April 14 in a 66-33 win over the San Diego Strike Force.
He writes about the things he has to look forward to in life other than football. Such as how he's gotten to like himself again, enjoy the little things, feeling connected in the moment.
"He kept me here for another day and that's all I can really ask for," he says.
Brooks wanted to kill himself three years ago, after so many disappointments, lost opportunities, and the death of his mother.
He had three knee surgeries for torn anterior cruciate ligaments (twice on one knee) in an 11-month span. His senior season at Minnesota in 2019, despite the Gophers winning 11 games, ended in disappointment for Brooks, who had moved to No. 11 in the school's all-time rushing list, only to have 408 yards and two TDs during the season and gaining just 22 yards on seven carries in a loss to Wisconsin in the final regular-season game.
After the first torn ACL, Brooks, searching for his cell phone to alert his family that he'll be needing surgery, found a text message saying that his mom Sharon, 43, was on life support.
He got there before she died, and got a tattoo on his arm with the image of her face on it and the inscription, "Strength doesn't come from what you can do, it comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't."
"I was a mama's boy growing up," Brooks said. "My mom taught me everything. She taught me how to love. A beautiful woman. A pure soul. I got that for her, because I never thought I could live without my mom.
"That's the one thing that triggered me mentally. I was like, 'Damn, I lost my mom.' That's the one person I was closest to."
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With no NFL team willing to sign him as an undrafted free agent, spiraling into a deep depression, feeling his sole identity was connected to football, Brooks, on his way back to his apartment one night in December 2019, decided to jump a fence and walk into a freight train on the tracks off University Avenue near the Minnesota campus.
He got within inches of the on-coming train, before stopping, hearing God speak to him.
"I was thinking of walking into it all the way, and something clicked and God woke me up," Brooks said. "He said, 'It wasn't your turn.' When I turned, I actually got hit in the temple (by part of the train). I got hit in the head. It knocked out two teeth. My lip was split all the way down. Face was swollen. I have pictures. It was gruesome."
Brooks staggered to his apartment, where he passed out and was taken by ambulance to a hospital.
He woke up in the hospital where Minnesota head football coach P.J. Fleck and his wife were with him.
Brooks spent two days in the hospital.
"When I got out of the hospital, I didn't know who to turn to," he said. "The first person I turned to was God. I said a prayer. He answered my prayer. Two or three days after that, he gave me my answer and gave me my purpose. And that is to spread my story to others.
"That's why I'm still alive. to share my story. There are a lot of athletes. Not just athletes but people in general who struggle mentally and don't have anybody to talk to. I want to be at least one person they can come to, especially as an athlete. A lot of youth look up to athletes, football players. I feel like I'm on a great platform right now to spread my message, to touch as many people as I can, and hopefully keep expanding on that."
Brooks is grateful the Rattlers gave him an opportunity. He talks about helping the Rattlers win a championship, then, maybe, a shot with an NFL team.
Rattlers coach and general manager Kevin Guy believes the 6-foot, 205-pound 25-year-old has a chance.
"He's been a solid player for us," Guy said. "He does the little things right. He's getting better and better every week. He's physical. That's what I like about him. He wants to be good. He praises his teammates. He fits in well in the locker room.
"He's got his life going straight. He's making good decisions. He's got a good support system around him. He's doing really good. I'm really proud of him."
Brooks feels his past, getting away from the drug-infested neighborhood in the Atlanta area. He said his dad was in and out of his life. His mom struggled with drugs and the family moved around. His grandparents provided stability. His grandfather was a pastor who would hold Bible studies. Brooks would listen in.
The train, he said was his wake-up call to life.
Since then, he added to his right arm another tattoo with the words, "A thousand words won't bring you back. I know because I tried. Neither will a thousand tears. I know because I cried."
"I know she won't be back but she's still here spiritually," Brooks says about his mom.
Brooks keeps telling himself, "Nobody is promised tomorrow."
"Nobody is promised next week, next year," he says. "Every day, be thankful.
"I've been writing in my journal what I'm grateful for every day. I'm a big believer in writing things down, because your imagination can be a reality."
Are you or someone you know in distress? Please seek help
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 800-273-8255
Veterans Crisis Line, 800-273-8255 and press 1
Crisis Text Line, Text TALK to 741741 to text with a trained crisis counselor for free, 24/7
Teens Lifeline, Teens can call 602-248-TEEN (8336) or 800-248-TEEN (8336).
Teens can also text with a teen peer counselor at 602-248-8336 between noon and 9 p.m. on weekdays and 3 p.m. until 9 p.m. on weekends.
LGBTQ youth, The Trevor Project provides confidential support for LGBTQ youth in crisis, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 1-866-488-7386
To suggest human-interest story ideas and other news, reach Obert at richard.obert@arizonarepublic.com or 602-316-8827. Follow him on Twitter @azc_obert.
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This article originally appeared on Arizona Republic: Rattlers RB Shannon Brooks wanted to die; now he wants to save lives
