Asian Flush: Here's how I've lived a lifetime with no alcohol — Mary Chao

I have never been drunk in the 55 years I've been on this earth.

Really.

Friends are surprised when I tell them this little factoid — because drinking alcohol is so much a part of American culture. It's integral to how we socialize and celebrate.

So why would this unabashed socialite not drink, my friends wondered, likely thinking I am a recovering alcoholic or religious. It's certainly not for any moral abstinence reason. I don't drink because my body rejects alcohol — I am plagued with what is known as the Asian Flush.

The Asian Flush is a reaction to alcohol among East Asians. Those who experience the condition get red in the face if they have an alcoholic drink. This is due to a deficiency within an enzyme called ALDH2, which breaks down alcohol in the liver. Variations in the genes of certain enzymes cause the afflicted to metabolize alcohol less effectively.

The flush affects East Asians, and about 30% to 50% of Chinese, Japanese and Koreans react to drinking by getting red. Think of a time when you were drinking with Asian friends and saw their faces get red. That's the Asian Flush — our bodies were rejecting alcohol. Beyond the redness, hives, nausea, asthma or migraines can be part of the condition, depending on how sensitive a person's body is to alcohol.

What's it like to be bogged down with this ailment? For me, it's an extreme reaction. If I consume more than a glass of wine, not only do my face and body get red, but my body becomes unbearably hot and itchy. My heart races, my head aches and I get nauseous. The few times that I've tried a mystery pretty cocktail with high alcohol content, I've ended up in the bathroom of restaurants vomiting. My body will not allow alcohol in its system.

That's the medical explanation of what happens to me when I drink — and why I don't drink. I'm not a masochist who wants to scratch myself all night or hang out by the toilet bowl. Still, others afflicted with the flush will drink.

"I do get red," said Chang Lee, 35, of Alpine. "I just thought it was normal."

Lee, who heads the Korean American Association of New Jersey, enjoys a drink or two when he's out. His body's reaction to alcohol varies. If he's had a meal, then he doesn't get red as quickly. Sometimes just one sip will make him red. But he doesn't get headaches or become nauseous. Lee describes himself as a social drinker. Most of his Korean friends and family get red when they drink. His mother never drinks, Lee added.

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My friend Hodaka Hasabe, who is from Japan and now lives Pittsford, New York, absolutely cannot drink. Like me, his reaction is severe. Hasabe experiences redness and headaches after consuming alcohol.

Here's the good, bad and ugly to not drinking. The good is you save a lot of money. I cringe when I see drink prices of $15 and up. A lifetime of not drinking and not going to bars enabled our family to be fiscally frugal with well-managed finances in our 50s. I joke to my husband that I'm a cheap date.

The bad and ugly side is that not drinking often means not socializing. My husband, whom I met in college, likes to tell people that he never saw me at a college party. That's because I don't drink. And I was a commuter student who didn't live on campus. While other peers were hanging out at McSorley's in Greenwich Village, I was on a subway home to Queens.

Lee, who also attended New York University, was a commuter student who took the train back home to Queens after classes. He didn't drink, either, in college. We talked about how we may have missed a bit of college life being commuter students. But we were not socially ostracized for not drinking or partying, as the school was in a large urban setting.

The social difficulties came after college, when people would go to bars after work. I was never part of that scene and was often not invited to such gatherings. Being a social outcast is part of the deal when you're an adult non-drinker. Who wants a prude around to spoil the fun?

As a suburban mom, I spent many nights out with other moms, and they all involved drinking. I'd tag along and sip a Diet Coke. There was no social pressure to partake. While I don't go to bars, I am a foodie and fashionista who enjoys dressing up and dining out. I also like smaller groups, where I can have a conversation. Being a teetotaler is totally fine when you're with a group of close friends.

Professionally, not drinking means missing out on networking opportunities. When managers go for a drink after work or when there's a happy hour at a conference, the non-drinkers are often left out.

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A former editor of mine, Mark Liu, who is biracial Taiwanese, gets the flush but will still occasionally drink. Different types of alcohol affect him differently, and he described the sensation of feeling his heart race when he experiences the flush.

"A few times I wondered if the racing heart was dangerous, but I was talking to a cardiologist years back and he didn't think there was a danger," Liu texted.

These days, Liu, 57, rarely drinks. But in his youth, he considered the flush only an annoyance, justifying that fun outweighs the inconvenience.

As America becomes more diverse, more non-drinking immigrant cultures normalize socializing without boozy beverages. Since moving to New Jersey, I have become friendly with Turkish Muslims who do not drink. Clifton resident Filiz Meydan recently took me to a Turkish restaurant in Paterson that does not serve alcohol. Who needs booze when you have delicious meats, breads, cheeses and baklava?

The genes for the Asian Flush are passed on. But genes are a funny thing, and a child doesn't inherit every trait. I had hoped that my 20-year-old daughter would have my alcohol intolerance gene. Sadly, no such luck. She found out in college that alcohol doesn't make her sick, having inherited her Caucasian dad's tolerance. I worry more as a mom now, but trust that she will exercise good judgment when it comes to liquor consumption. She understands well what it's like to be a social outcast, as she's an introvert, so saying no to drinking in excess will not be a problem.

It's OK going against the grain, I tell my daughter. I shared with her that I used to be self-conscious in my youth being the only non-drinker at a gathering. I consider that akin to being the cool rebel.

As the 1980s pop star Huey Lewis would say: "It's hip to be square."

I'll drink a Diet Coke to that. Cheers.

Mary Chao is a columnist who covers the Asian communities and real estate of North Jersey.

Email: mchao@NorthJersey.com

This article originally appeared on NorthJersey.com: Asian Flush: Why some Asians turn red when drinking alcohol