'Awkward' DeSantis is far from a threat to Trump GOP. His public humiliation may never end.

I’m beginning to wonder if Republican Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis' presidential campaign is a social experiment aimed at measuring how much humiliation one human can endure.

Either that or the people running his campaign and super PAC are secretly working for former president and current criminal defendant Donald Trump.

Two things happened Thursday to heighten my suspicions.

Not sure Ron DeSantis wanted 'awkward' to be his brand

First, The Washington Post ran a story under the headline: “Awkward Americans see themselves in Ron DeSantis.”

The governor’s often off-putting public persona and transparent discomfort engaging with other humans have a lot to do with his plummeting poll numbers. And while I’m no expert on political campaigns, I don’t think an “Awkward people get me!” headline is what strategists would consider a win.

It would be like 1988 Democratic presidential candidate Michael Dukakis getting a headline that read: “People who look embarrassingly weird and out of place posing for photos in an Army tank see themselves in Michael Dukakis.”

A super PAC offers (terrible) debate advice to DeSantis

As if being crowned King of the Awkward wasn’t enough, The New York Times reported on a lengthy document intended to advise DeSantis ahead of next week’s first GOP presidential primary debate.

The debate strategy was posted online by a Republican political consulting firm associated with DeSantis’ main super PAC, Never Back Down, a name that might soon be hilariously ironic. And the advice offered is … interesting?

As if to rub salt in the “Ron, you’re awkward” wounds, the material directs DeSantis to express real human emotion when talking about his family.

Per The Times report: “The strategy memo also highlights one of Mr. DeSantis’s long-running political vulnerabilities, his reputation for awkwardness or aloofness on the campaign trail, by suggesting that he ‘invoke a personal anecdote story about family, kids, Casey, showing emotion.’”

I envision debate-prep flash cards that read: “Bring up children and wife. Make face do thing that suggests a feeling of happiness.”

DeSantis, worry about GOP, not Dems: DeSantis thinks 'the libs' are afraid of him. But it's Republican voters who want him to get lost.

Whatever you do, Gov. DeSantis, don't go after Donald Trump!

Beyond that, these “advisers” say DeSantis should be prepared to defend Trump from attacks delivered by others on the debate stage. You read that right. DeSantis should go to bat for the guy who is presently beating him by nearly 40 percentage points in GOP primary polls.

Are we 100% sure the people running this super PAC aren’t all just notorious Trump adviser Stephen Miller wearing different skin suits?

Trump is presently juggling indictments and court dates while feverishly attempting to relitigate the 2020 presidential election that he has now, when you include futile court cases, lost more than 60 times over.

Trump has more vulnerabilities than a shell-less turtle, but the DeSantis folks want their struggling candidate to “hammer” fellow Republican candidate Vivek Ramaswamy, a businessman born to Indian immigrant parents in Cincinnati who has seen a slight surge in polling numbers, bringing him close to DeSantis’ No. 2 position.

I saw hope in DeSantis. As Trump surges, can GOP give us better candidate to vote for?

'Fake Vivek'? You'll never beat Trump at nicknames, so don't even try.

According to The Times report, the genius DeSantis super PAC strategists suggest this, “Take a sledge-hammer to Vivek Ramaswamy: 'Fake Vivek' Or 'Vivek the Fake'.”

Ah, yes. Nicknames.

Look, there’s one positive thing, and one thing only, I will say about Trump: The guy knows how to come up with funny/ hurtful nicknames. “Ron DeSanctimonious” is objectively hilarious – and accurate.

So telling Awkward Ron to roll out a staggeringly lame nonzinger like “Fake Vivek” during the debate is like encouraging him to walk onto the debate stage naked and see how things work out.

Letting the world know your debate strategy before the Republican debate is ... not ideal

Super PACs can’t communicate directly with campaigns, so they post stuff like this online in places they hope the campaign will know to look (wink-wink) and journalists won’t notice (oops!).

But now that all this sage advice has leaked, imagine how dopey DeSantis is going to look if he tries to use these tactics onstage at Wednesday’s debate.

If he trots out the line “Fake Vivek,” Ramaswamy will just skewer him for robotically following his not-bright strategists’ orders.

In fact, Ramaswamy didn’t even wait until Wednesday. Reacting to The Times story, the candidate tweeted: “Another boring, establishment attack from Super PAC-creation ‘Robot Ron’ who is literally taking lame, pre-programmed attack lines against me for next week’s debate. ‘Hammer Ramaswamy.’“

How much humiliation can one presidential candidate take?

It’s all just utterly humiliating, and I have to believe DeSantis wants nothing more than to drop out, run home to the Florida governor’s mansion, pull a blanket over his head and go to his happy place, which I assume involves daydreaming of more ways to be cruel to LGBTQ+ children in his state.

DeSantis debuts cruel campaign ad: Flailing DeSantis campaign leans into anti-LGBTQ ad, tries to out-cruel Trump

Alas, I imagine the guy’s going to stick around in the primary a bit longer, hoping like all the others that Trump’s campaign somehow collapses or he suddenly vanishes in a poof of narcissistic rage.

Both of those things are unlikely.

But for Robot Ron, for Awkward Ron, for Ron DeSanctimonious? Well, the campaign headquarters could use a new sign: “The humiliation will continue until morale improves.”

Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Twitter @RexHuppke and Facebook facebook.com/RexIsAJerk

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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: DeSantis told not to attack Trump in GOP debate. That won't help him