'Bachelor' winner Rachael Kirkconnell details regret over plantation-themed party

"Bachelor" winner Rachael Kirkconnell, who faced backlash for liking Confederate flag-related TikToks and resurfaced photos of her attending an antebellum-themed college party, is addressing the controversy once again.

While appearing on an Instagram live Monday with From Privilege to Progress, an organization that promotes open discussions about race and racism, Kirkconnell opened up about the party at her Georgia college and revealed she started educating herself about anti-racism long before she joined the historic 25th season of "The Bachelor" with Matt James, the franchise's first Black Bachelor.

Kirkconnell, who received the final rose in March's season finale, came under fire after a photo appearing to show her at a plantation-themed fraternity formal in 2018 resurfaced. She apologized in February, saying she "was ignorant, but my ignorance was racist."

"It was honestly weird reliving all of that, having that photo resurface from that time in my life," Kirkconnell recalled in Monday's interview, saying that for "everyone … including Matt, it was like that had just happened."

She said, "For them, it was brand new, but for me, it was years ago."

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While addressing criticism that she "must have known" about the event's racist history, Kirkconnell admitted that at the time, she saw the formal as an innocent "photo op," acknowledging that her attendance was nonetheless "racist, and I was completely ignorant to that."

"I'm so ashamed that I basically participated in that unknowingly because I'm sitting here in my own little privileged, selfish world just thinking, 'Oh, we just put dresses on to go take a photo op,' " she said, noting she "didn't think anything about it because it didn't affect me personally."

"If I had to think about it at the time, I was probably just thinking, 'OK, just some super traditional fraternity and they probably just want to continue the tradition of what they used to wear when the fraternity was founded.' "

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Kirkconnell said she dropped out of her sorority, though didn't specify when, in an early effort to be actively anti-racist.

"Between that and just a lot of other things about Greek life, I was like, "I don't wanna be a part of this anymore,' and I dropped out after that," she said. "That's the first time my eyes opened about 'OK, there's a difference between being not racist and anti-racist.' "

She also said she immediately deleted the photos from that night — years before coming on the show — because "that isn't who I am or who I want to be."

"I lost some friends along the way last summer. I don't speak to certain family members anymore because that was probably the first time in my life I realized I need to stop standing aside and I need to speak up and do something because …we should have been doing this for years and years."

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Kirkconnell also addressed how her education process has affected her relationship with James. The couple appeared to be broken up at the "After the Final Rose" post-finale special, but James revealed in May that he gave Kirkconnell a second chance, because it's "unfair" for him to leave her while she tries to "be better."

"It's not Matt's job to educate me," Kirkconnell emphasized, adding that she's had to educate herself about race while thinking about the couple's future.

"Children need to be educated about their Black history and what society will think of them … and like I said it's not his job to educate me on that, so I think it's good to take time to yourself and try and educate yourself on interracial relationships."

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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: 'Bachelor': Rachael Kirkconnell on Matt James, antebellum photo