Basketball, family keep Skylar Ju's two worlds connected

Skylar Ju knew he wouldn't see his father often.

That's hard enough. But the coronavirus pandemic changed any predetermined plans and generated an added layer of uncertainty.

The Genoa senior went two years without a visit from his dad, Jeong Sun Ju, who lives in Korea.

The father finally made it back to Ohio just in time to watch his son play in a varsity basketball game against Lake.

Ju was born in St. Louis. He lived in Chicago for a year when he was 10.

Then, the family moved to Korea for five years, seeking better financial circumstances. Ju lived in Suwon and Dongtan in Korea.

The adjustment was difficult.

"Everything," he said. "The culture, I didn't know anything. I didn't know a bit of Korean. I'd seen my Korean family once, for two weeks on a vacation. The food. The people, they're very straight up. They speak their mind. I had to work really hard to learn the language.

"The language was the hardest part. That was the breakthrough. Once I could do that, I loved everything. It's a very important place in my heart now."

Ju's parents considered an international school in Korea, before Ju instead dove sink or swim into a Korean education. He was never made to feel uncomfortable, but said racism continues to be a real thing in both countries.

"I was never treated badly," he said. "I could feel it. Here, they say, 'You look Korean.' I don't know. There, I was the white boy. That was different, a different perspective. The language barrier opened things up and I could speak to people and have connections.

"Once I learned the language, I could easily carry on a conversation."

School was challenging, particular grammar and math.

Ju considers himself half American and half Korean. A dual citizen until he was 16, he rescinded his Korean citizenship at the Embassy in Chicago two years ago, partially to avoid having to serve a two-year military service commitment.

"I'm 50/50," he said. "Not legally, I'm 100% American. I love both cultures equally and they both earned a spot in my heart."

Ju cherishes Korean Thanksgiving, sitting at a low table using chopsticks for a traditional meal, including side dishes.

"The vibe and you enjoy the presence," he said. "I enjoyed having both cultures. Once I got through the language barrier it was embracing the culture. I didn't realize how big the world was."

Ju witnessed loyalty in a new way.

"The culture in Korea, everybody goes through everything together," he said. "If someone is struggling, you help them out. Here, it's a little more for yourself."

Ju's mother, Yolanda Mathews, was a professor at Suwon University, teaching English as a second language. She was born in Toledo and grew up in Genoa.

Ju's father remains a professor there, working in sports science with a focus on atrophy. They met as students at the University of Toledo, when Sun Ju was studying abroad as a young man.

Ju and his sister, Katelyn Ju, returned to the U.S. with their mother, before Skylar's freshman year.

"The same feelings I felt," Ju said of his sister. "I couldn't tell you what she felt, but she missed him and missed having him around. She and my mom's relationship became stronger."

An American education after high school was considered the best course for Ju. Much as he shifted cultures once before, he had to adapt to coming back.

Everything was different, but at least it wasn't unfamiliar.

"When I first came back here, I kind of got culture shock, like when I went to Korea," he said. "My English was kind of basic at first, but I got acclimated and I got into my American studies again. My grades have always been fine here.

"I learned from all my experiences and I take them with me. You have to work for everything. Once you get it, it feels good to have it back."

This kid is 18 years old. Multiple remarkable transformations diverge in worldly fashion.

"In Korea, I learned the language and I have the grain of Korean culture in me," he said. "In Korea, you walk everywhere. Here, you have to drive 30 minutes to Franklin Park Mall. English is harder. It's harder to make sentences work.

"Give me that ball. In Korean, it's 'give ball.' It's shorter and more precise. There are so many words in an English sentence. Once you get [Korean], you get it. There is no Z, no F. It's comparable [how hard they are to learn]."

It took him two years to feel fluent in Korean.

"Learning Korean, it's not study all night," he said. "It was from listening to kids using slang. My sister and I still talk to each other in slang [for fun]. The other students tried to teach me the bad words to use with teachers. They didn't get me."

Mathews trained in human resources and embarked on a new path of her own. Ju's father, who was raised in Gwang Ju to parents who were born there as well, remained in Korea.

He visited Genoa once before the pandemic and had to cancel at least one trip, aside from the opportunities no longer within the realm of possibility.

"My whole life I had him around, so it was weird not seeing him," Ju said. "I looked up to my mom and formed a bond over the circumstances. The first year was tough for all of us. For me, it was weird and sad without my dad around.

"I missed him very much, that's all I felt. I learned to accept that he needs to do his work there. Once I accepted that, it's OK now. We talk on the phone."

It was difficult for Ju to balance all of his emotions when travel restrictions finally did allow his dad to visit. That was about a year ago.

"I could feel his presence right there," Ju said with a gesture over his shoulder. "On a shot or drive, I could feel him watching me. Not seeing him, I played [basketball] in Korea. Him seeing me again, I wanted to play good and put on a show.

"That was not the night. He was very comforting after the game. Everybody has a bad game."

The next game was significantly less bittersweet as Ju scored 15 points against Fostoria, with his dad in the stands.

"I played good the next night," he said. "I made up for the last game. I could see he was happy and proud."

Right when Ju had a chance to feel connected, his father returned to Korea. Phone calls would again have to suffice.

"It was weird at first, then it felt like old times," he said while it lasted. "It was weird. It was different."

Ju began his sophomore season on junior varsity.

"[Senior] Griffin [Meyer] got COVID and I had to step up to varsity and I guess I showed coach I was ready," he said. "From Swanton on, late December. It's a big step up, JV to varsity."

Ju leaned on his teammates.

"[They] keep me sane throughout the season," he said. "It's a long season, a grind. My teammates keep me to that standard and they protect me, [Senior] Mason Drummond. We help keep each other up during the grind so we can all be successful."

Ju led the team at 10.6 points per game last season.

"I'm better on defense," he said. "I'm still not where I want, but I stepped up on defense, rebounding and being tough overall. I'm more disciplined. I'm the scorer on our team. I'm not the best defender, I compensate with shooting and playmaking.

"That's where I have to step up."

Jon Sandwisch, a Woodmore graduate, enters his first season as coach.

"The coaching staff has been amazing," Ju said. "The amount of hard work they've put in, I can't even believe. [Sandwisch] watches so much film and edits film together, with a new baby. I respect that. All the coaches."

The Comets enjoy when Ju's dad is in town.

"They're supportive," he said. "Asking questions. They show they care about me."

Genoa was 9-13 last season, although it won eight of 14 in the Northern Buckeye Conference. It advanced to a district semifinal, before Ju scored 24 points in a four-point setback to nemesis Cardinal Stritch.

"Everybody accepts their role and we're together," Ju said. "We were young last year. I'm excited for Coach Sandwisch. The new staff. All the coaches. The guys, my senior group [has been together]. We had a couple injuries, concussions.

"We found a way to work through it. We were losing games, but we connected and came together and went on a run. We finished strong. We were tired of losing and hearing it. We talked, 'Get it together' and we got it done."

Ju's dad hopes to catch a glimpse when he returns for three weeks, including Christmas and New Year's Eve.

Ju grew up a lot during his involuntary disconnect from his dad.

"It made me more mature," he said. "Helping my mom more, helping around the house. I try to help. It was really tough, on my whole family. Being away from your dad, who you look up to, my mom and I got close."

mhorn@gannett.com

419-307-4892

Twitter: @MatthewHornNH

This article originally appeared on Fremont News-Messenger: Genoa's Skylar Ju spends time at school, basketball in two countries