Beat a Cyberbully: Here's How Parents Can Help
Oct. 29—As we consider National Bullying Prevention Month in October, it is clear that technology's ever-greater presence in children's lives has given bullying a new outlet. With just a click, cyberbullies can taunt, harass and threaten relentlessly, even reaching into the home via cell phone or computer. As a result, victims report feeling hopeless, isolated, and even suicidal.
"Having seen firsthand the emotional damage and long-reaching effects of bullying, I want to provide my boys with the best defense," said Steven Hurst, a father of two in Corbin, Kentucky.
What can parents do to protect their kids? Taking an interest in their children's online world can make a difference, say many authorities on the matter.
This interest does not necessarily require parents to become tech experts. Instead, the website stopbullying.gov, a government website in the United States, suggests that parents watch for subtle clues that something is wrong, such as their child becoming withdrawn, hiding their screen when others are nearby, or reacting emotionally to what's happening on their device.
For Steven and his wife Teresa, that has meant being keenly aware of what "normal" looks like for their two boys, aged 13 and 11.
"We can always tell when something is bothering our boys," said Steven. "Taking time to talk, sometimes just one on one, has enabled us to know what's going on."
"We have to truly be listening to pick up on feelings and expressions that alert us to potential problems," added Teresa.
Talking with kids openly—and often—helps. "The more you talk to your children about bullying, the more comfortable they will be telling you if they see or experience it," UNICEF says in its online tips for parents.
As their two daughters enter their teens, Houston parents Thiago and Auboni Cordolino have found that talking less and listening more works best. "We try to focus on being approachable and listening actively without reaction," said Thiago.
Beyond talking with, listening to, and observing their kids, parents shouldn't be afraid to make and enforce rules for online activities, experts say.
The Cordolinos' girls are allowed to play online games, but they're expected to turn off the live chat feature to limit interactions with strangers. "We reassure the girls that we trust them and respect their privacy, but they have to stay within the boundaries we've set," said Auboni.
The Hursts take a similar approach by regularly discussing internet and social media safety with their sons. "We review our family time limits that are set for such activities — and how permission can be granted for more time when a need arises," said Teresa.
Both families cited the tips and reminders they've considered together with their kids from free resources available on jw.org, the official website of Jehovah's Witnesses.
"At the beginning of the school year, we review specific features of jw.org with the boys," said Steven. The short, animated video Beat a Bully Without Using Your Fists is one of their favorites. They've also used the site to search for tips on cell phone and text messaging safety.
"This has helped them in dealing with students in general," said Steven, "and has helped our family to be very cautious in use of the internet and any social networks."
