Being a grammy was just Esther Wolfensberger's style

Editor’s note: Each Sunday, The Herald-Mail runs “A Life Remembered.” Each story in this continuing series takes a look back — through the eyes of family, friends, co-workers and others — at a member of the community who died recently. Today’s “A Life Remembered” is about Esther Louise Wolfensberger, who died on May 16 at the age of 84. Her obituary appeared in The Herald-Mail on May 26.

Esther Wolfensberger loved to indulge her grandchildren.

But she showered them with much more than just gifts and special experiences.

“She wasn’t just my grammy,” Hollee Winders said. “She was my best friend.”

"She just loved being grammy," said Esther's daughter and Hollee's mom, Misti Winders. "All the kids had to do was mention something they wanted and it was instantaneous."

Hollee remembers her childhood being filled with long, late-night talks during sleepovers, piggyback rides and even having her grammy as a confidence builder to accompany her down the slide at a McDonald's PlayPlace when she was afraid to do it alone.

"When I used to go to Grammy's house, it was like an oasis," Hollee said.

When she was in school and assigned to write an essay about her tranquil place, the subject was, of course, Grammy's house.

So Esther had a sign made up that reads, "Hollee's Tranquility," and posted it on the front of her home.

Esther's sense of fashion, style

A spry beauty well into her golden years, Esther was particular about keeping a sharp appearance, for example, buying multiple pairs of the same shoes in different colors to make sure she had the right ones for the occasion.

She stressed the importance of having perfect hair, nails and teeth, and wanted to make sure everyone else looked good too.

Hollee wasn't too picky about what her prom dress should be, but her mom and Grammy were. They drove three hours to get it, and Grammy had to give her final approval.

"She wanted me to be the prettiest one there," Hollee said.

Esther's fashion sense extended to decorating. She loved fixing up her home and changing its look, and she enjoyed getting involved in everyone else's projects.

She worked on her hands and knees to have the floors redone at Hollee's home just last year, and has helped longtime friend Christie Ecton pick out things for her house.

She got involved recently when Christie and her husband, Mike, repainted their living room.

"And Mike said, 'Have you called Esther and had her approval yet?'" Christie said, laughing.

And you didn't dare dally on those projects when Esther was involved.

"When Mom wanted something done, she wanted it done yesterday," Misti said. "If you would go out and get curtains, she'd call that night and ask if you had the curtains up yet."

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'We were known as "the Chuckwagon"'

Despite her keen beauty and style senses, Esther was sorely — and comically — lacking another sense.

"She'd get lost in a parking lot," Misti said.

Once during a family trip to the Wheeling Island greyhound racing track in West Virginia, she took the lead when the server at their restaurant told the group to they could visit the salad bar.

"The next thing you know we were taking a tour of the kitchen," stepdaughter Debbie Conrad said. "Bless her heart, she had no sense of direction."

The same thing happened as they were leaving a restaurant they had visited during a trip to Rhode Island, where Esther's husband, James "Wolfie" Wolfensberger was competing as a pro duckpin bowler.

"We let her lead the way and she walked us right into the coat closet," Debbie said.

Wolfie was twice ranked as the No. 1 duckpin bowler nationally, having won six pro tours and 30 tournaments overall. He was elected to the National Duckpin Bowling Congress Hall of Fame, the Duckpin Pro Tour Hall of Fame and the Washington County Hall of Fame, according to his Sept. 16, 2013, obituary.

"Esther was there backing him the whole way," Debbie said.

Debbie caught the bowling bug from her dad when she was a child and he used to take her with him to a bowling alley in downtown Hagerstown. She eventually turned pro herself.

She and Esther teamed up to serve the food at various family gatherings and events.

"We were known as 'the Chuckwagon,'" Debbie said. "We didn't go anywhere without taking the food.

"That was our little nickname, and we loved it."

Esther enjoyed her whisky sours, trips to places like Myrtle Beach, S.C., and was part of the "Golden Girls" gang who went out for dinner every Friday night at the Colonial Bar & Grill near Hagerstown.

Life born out of early hardships

Her flair for good times and minor indulgences might have been born out of the sacrifices she had to make and the hardships she had faced earlier in life.

As a child growing up on a farm, it was Esther who found her father drowned in a stream that ran through the property.

Times were lean when Esther's mother had to move her and her three siblings into a house in downtown Boonsboro and go to work while raising them.

Esther graduated from Boonsboro High School in 1955 and eventually went to work in the accounting department at the Western Maryland Railway in Hagerstown.

When her first marriage ended in divorce, money was tight and she had to be frugal and budget carefully.

She might have had only two or three dresses back then.

"When she finally got a new dress, she would walk into the railroad and everyone would hoot and holler," Misti said.

After some six years as a single mom, she found the love of her life in Wolfie.

And she was a good mom, according to Misti, who was born premature and had asthma as a young child. Misti remembers her mother's hand reaching through an opening in her oxygen tent to hold hers, despite having already finished a long shift at work.

'The world lost a special person'

Esther loved animals and had four cats.

"She kept cat food in her (car) trunk in case she saw a stray," Hollee said.

Those lean years as a single mom taught Esther to be a strong woman, a trait she passed on to the rest of the women in the family long before it was fashionable.

"She always said, 'Never depend on a man,'" Misti said.

"She did instill confidence in me at work," Christie said.

Christie and Esther became lifelong friends while working together at the Maryland Division of Rehabilitation Services in Hagerstown, where Esther went to work as a fiscal clerk after the Western Maryland Railway became part of the Chessie System — now CSX Transportation — and moved its headquarters to Baltimore.

After Esther's retirement, she remained healthy and active.

"I said, 'You're going to outlive me,'" Christie observed.

But an infection led to sepsis, pneumonia, a collapsed lung and Esther's unexpected death about two months later.

Just a few days before she passed peacefully at Hospice of Washington County's Doey's House, Christie said, Esther had told her, "'I be up sometime to see you.''

And there had been discussion of the future, including cruises and travel.

"The world lost a special person," Christie said.

"Way too early," Debbie said. "We still had places to go and people to see."

This article originally appeared on The Herald-Mail: A Life Remembered: Esther Wolfensberger loved to share her style sense