Being an 'old mom' was the right decision for me. Motherhood didn't define my identity.

• Waiting until her late 30s to become a mom helped Sara Lyle to be a more present parent now.

• Focusing on financial stability and health provided her with a solid foundation to raise her family.

• Lyle shares three reasons why postponing pregnancy was the right path for her.

Sofía Vergara's comments about the right time for women to have children continue to spark discussions. In January, the 51-year-old star of "Modern Family" and, the more recent, "Griselda," told Spanish newspaper El País that her reason for divorcing her husband Joe Manganiello was because he was younger and wanted to have kids. "I didn't want to be an old mom. I feel it's not fair to the baby," she said.

Just this week, she contextualized her previous comments in a People cover story, which highlighted that Vergara is already a mom to a 32-year-old son she had when she was 19. She said that she didn't feel like she would "be able to give 100 percent."

While Vergara's story may resonate with women who had children earlier rather than later, there are some "old mom" celebrities — like Michelle Williams, who had her third at 42, and Hilary Swank, who gave birth to twins last year at 48 — who have challenged this norm. Given that I'll be pushing 60 when my 8-year-old graduates from high school, I fall into the latter camp.

Those in the other camp often think: "But aren't there potential health risks to giving birth later?" They aren't wrong. It's recommended that women aged 35 and up take additional precautions.

Knowing this before my pregnancy, I followed all the advice — taking folic acid supplements, staying physically active, avoiding alcohol, and even having acupuncture treatments for fertility.

I wasn't ashamed of my age — I gave birth four days before my 38th birthday — and felt great throughout my pregnancy, so I was a little taken aback by the term the doctors and nurses used for expecting moms like me: geriatric pregnancy. "Geriatric" is defined as "of or relating to old people." Harsh. These days, the commonly used term is more tactful: advanced maternal age pregnancy or AMA pregnancy.

This shift in mindset seems to follow a consistent climb in the average age for first-time mothers — up from 25.6 years old in 2011 to 27.3 in 2021, according to the United States Census Bureau.

If you read the research, there are various suggested causes for this trend toward giving birth later, but I can only speak for myself.

Here are three reasons why waiting to become a mom was the right path for me

1. Well-earned wisdom

Having built a successful career in content and visited dozens of countries in my first four decades, I was able to bring a lot of life experience to motherhood without it defining who I am.

Back in my 20s, I lived with roommates in New York and was more worried about making weekend plans than writing a birth plan. I also frequently had to stay late at the office when publication deadlines loomed. I didn't envy coworkers with families waiting at home.

Over these years, I learned many valuable lessons that I still use today as a mom to a blended family with my husband and our three boys. For example, the importance of surrounding myself with positive people translates to trying to create a supportive environment for our kids. Similarly, the countless nights spent burning the midnight oil for work taught me the importance of prioritizing sleep and creating a healthy routine.

When we talk as a family about different cultures or customs, I can draw from my travel experiences to encourage our boys to be open-minded. Being laid off from my job a couple of times before having kids has instilled in me both humility and resilience — two traits I actively try to nurture in our children. Neither my husband nor I want to raise entitled kids, and fostering gratitude is a big part of that.

This last lesson hit home when I lost my dad the year before I had my son. It has made me deeply appreciative of spending quality time with family, something my husband is just as passionate about.

2. More stability

Earlier this year, Business Insider calculated the annual cost of caring for one young child in the US at nearly $26,000, including housing, food, clothes, transportation, childcare, healthcare insurance premiums, and other expenses. That figure is about the same amount I made in my first job as an editorial assistant when I was 21. Having a baby back then — even if the cost were only half the amount it is now — would have been out of the question, financially speaking.

By the time I got pregnant 15 years later, after also getting married and factoring in my then-husband's income, I was in a much better position to raise a child. While money can't buy happiness, it can give you more stability.

3. Staying young-ish

Now, being a mom of three keeps me active and engaged. From running alongside the boys in a fun-but-messy "mudder" race to deciphering the latest slang like "rizz" or "bussin" over dinner, it's a constant adventure.

Staying healthy and involved in your kids' lives is likely important to parents of all ages. But for me, it feels even more significant. In my 20s and 30s, running half-marathons and keeping up with pop culture came easily. Now, it takes a little more effort, but the payoff is greater by being fully present for my kids.

Looking even further ahead, I'm conscious of wanting to be around when our kids have kids, like some of my forty-something mom friends who have recently become grandmas. So, I focus on eating well, getting regular exercise, managing stress, scheduling regular checkups, and all that good stuff.

Ultimately, there's no one-size-fits-all for when to become a mom. My personal choice to delay parenthood until I was good and ready isn't for everyone. While being an "old mom" has come with a few wrinkles, both figuratively and literally, the laughter and love make it completely worth it.

Got a personal essay about living abroad or parenting that you want to share? Get in touch with the editor: akarplus@businessinsider.com.

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