Being in your own home as you age is a good concept, but socialization matters most
We hear about the notion of "aging in place" constantly in today’s media. You should know that I am not a fan of this concept.
The first and obvious question is, “Age in what place?”
How many times have you moved in your lifetime? And why did you move in each of those scenarios? Usually, it was because the current location didn’t work anymore. It might be because there was a new job or more kids. Maybe it was pure pleasure, but most of us have moved many times.
Yet, at a certain age, we’re supposed to stay put?! I would go so far as to say that in our culture, it is considered a failure if you can’t stay in your home until the end of your life. That’s ridiculous!
We do all kinds of things in old age to flourish. We get our cataracts removed, our knees and hips replaced, our Medicare annual check-ups, our estates planned. We might even get our faces lifted and prescriptions for Viagra.
But when it comes to where we live, we’re told it’s best to stay put.
Living in a place that meets your needs and allows you to flourish in older age is ideal. As Ryan Fredrick, in his book "Right Place Right Time," points out, if your home enables you to 1) live with purpose, 2) have social connections, 3) have physical well-being, 4) financial well-being and 5) community well-being, then you are in the right place for the current moment.
But how do you plan for a future that keeps those benchmarks in place? Think of it: place may be our most important decision as we grow old! Age has a way of chipping away at living with purpose and having lots of socialization opportunities.
That’s especially true if you are single ager.
There is a $648 billion industry that wants to help you stay in your own home. They are advertised constantly. Some of my favorites — or I should say pet peeves — are walk-in bathtubs, chair lifts that climb stairs and emergency call buttons saying, “Help, I can’t get off the floor!”
These things are not bad, but do they solve the issue of socialization and living with purpose as you grow old? Loneliness and isolation are killers; you can’t eliminate them while sitting naked in a walk-in tub while it empties.
It may sound like I am on a soapbox, and I will own that. It may be because I was on the receiving end of so many panicked calls from adult children who were faced with major decisions about their parents’ living situations. As Elders, we need to take this into our own hands and make the tough decisions before there is an emergency.
Being in the right place — whatever that is for you — gives you the best chance to flourish in your later years. As we like to say, make the rest of your life the best of your life.
Find Connie's book, "Daily Cures: Wisdom for Healthy Aging," at www.justnowoldenough.com.
This article originally appeared on Topeka Capital-Journal: Being in your home as you age is good, but socialization matters
