BERNEY WILKINSON: Battling summer boredom
Summer is officially in full swing. Though kids and parents appreciate the break from school, summer can be a tough time of year for many parents. During the school year, kids are out of the home most of the day. But in summer, kids are home and parents have to find ways to keep their kids busy throughout the day.
One of the recurring complaints from kids is that they are “bored.” And when they’re bored, many will push their parents for more time on video games, social media and YouTube. When parents attempt to limit screen time, kids pull out the “B” card in an effort to recruit you as the one to fix things. Sure, they may have a room full of toys and a bookshelf full of books, but those things are “boring.” It is no wonder that by the time August comes around, parents are itching for their kids to return to school.
When I meet with parents who find themselves in this position, my first response tends to be praise. Praise for setting limits on their kids’ screen time; praise that they are trying to get their kids to do something else, praise for understanding that it is important for kids to be moving around, rather than sitting in front of a screen.
Although parents appreciate the praise, they want to move quickly to the real question, “What do I do about the boredom?” And most parents are surprised to hear that it is not their job to cure their child’s boredom.
Many parents have the mistaken belief that it is their responsibility to ensure that their children are constantly stimulated and deeply engaged in activities. In a word, it isn’t. On the other hand, there are a few things that parents should structure for their kids.
• First, kids should be reading at least 30 minutes a day. It doesn’t matter what they read, as long as they are reading.
• Second, they should also spend time exercising and moving. If you can’t send them outside to play, look for “indoor recess” or “kids workout” apps and YouTube videos.
• Third, every kid should also have daily chores and responsibilities. Whether it is to make their bed, help prepare meals, or straighten up the living room, kids need to be reminded that they must contribute to keeping up with the home.
• Finally, there should be some family time built into the day. This could be anything from a family walk in the evening to eating dinner together while talking about the day.
Outside of these prescribed activities, parents should allow their kids to keep themselves busy. Whether playing with Legos, doing a puzzle, extra reading, drawing, or playing a board game, most kids have things that keep them busy. When parents take on the responsibility of keeping their kids engaged, children are denied the opportunity of finding something productive to do. As a result, they grow up to truly believe that they have nothing to do unless someone tells them to do it. How many times have you asked your teen, “Why didn’t you clean up that mess in the kitchen?” only to hear him say, “No one told me to.”
So with the summer just beginning, spend some time in structuring your kids’ day with those necessary activities, leave time open for them to find something to do on their own. Don’t solve the “boredom” problem for them; simply remind them that they have lots of things to do. If your kid is really struggling, you could even create a list of “Boredom Cures,” things that they can do, on their own, when they think they have nothing else to do. It may be tough at first, but if you stick to it, you and your kid will benefit.
Dr. Berney, a licensed psychologist with Psychological Associates of Central Florida in Lakeland, is a national speaker and the co-author of "Handbook for Raising an Emotionally Healthy Child." Listen to Dr. Berney's podcast, "The Mental Breakdown,” on iTunes and YouTube. You can submit questions or topics to Dr. Berney by email at drberney@pacflorida.com.
This article originally appeared on The Ledger: Parent shouldn't solve boredom problem
