THE BEST HOT WINGS ON EARTH
Sep. 11—It's rare that you come across a great recipe that's simple. And even more infrequent that it will light a fire under your barbecue quests with almost no effort ... but here it is:
Having tested this recipe all over the United States and for guests from all over the globe, I can say it's the best in all the world. It requires 4 ingredients, which are ...
1. Chicken wings
2. Cayenne pepper
3. Louisiana Hot Sauce (NO other brand and none of that nonsense) I mean LOUISIANA hot sauce with the blue dot on the front. Like they have at Popeye's Chicken ... and Walmart.
4. Honey
Here is how it's done:
If you have a big crowd, defrost and then boil the wings first to save time in front of the fire. Your guests are drinking and shooting the breeze and listening to music, so they won't notice.
If you are cooking for a small crowd, it's simple.
Step One:
This pretty-much has to be done on a charcoal grill, so get your coals going (seriously, no infernal gas grills, the honey clogs the jets), I recommend Matchlight, but if you're not in a hurry, use what you like.
Step Two:
Put the wings on the grill and dust the wings on one side with cayenne pepper (pro-tip: the more dust, the hotter the wings)
Flip 'em after about 5 minutes or until you see the bottom-side turn opaque-white
Dust them again (same rules apply: more dust = more hotness)
Let them cook for about 5 minutes again
Step Three:
SMOTHER the wings in Louisiana Hot Sauce and wait to see it bubble on the edges.
Flip 'em and do the same thing on the other side. SMOTHER them and preferably use up the 12-ounce bottle for every bag of wings.
Cook them until they're done — when the chicken peels away from the bones — and just before you pull them offa the grill, cover them with honey (a brush works best, and honey is the food-equivalent of kerosene, so get ready for the flames and preferably pull them to the outer ring of the grill)
Flip 'em and do the same bit.
Wait for the honey to caramelize and get sticky and yank 'em quick at that point.
This process works very well with them fish-cooking baskets so you load 'em with wings and it's easier to flip with one motion instead of individually. But tongs are okay if you're patient. Fortunately, I'm lazy, so I save steps.
The honey makes them sweet and the hotness comes in at roughly 10 seconds, which makes you wanna eat more wings.
Step Four:
Go buy more wings and fight off your guests because they'll want more. Or, send them to the store and tell them to bring a credit-card; wings ain't cheap (and get more beer).
That's pretty-much it. I've served this recipe at military bases across America, and for Germans (actual Germans from Germany) South Americans (actual South Ameri ... you see where I'm going with this), a healthy percentage of the English, a pretty girl from France, all kinds of folks hither and yon, and even a guy from Australia who swore I was a culinary genius (I'm not, this recipe was created by me because those were the only ingredients I had in my cupboard when I was destitute and had crummy cooking skills when I was 27), but it's worked ever since.
My son, Logan, has an oven recipe that works for wintertime, and I was shocked that R Boy learned to cook that well and just how good it was. R Boy was thinking outside the box and improving on his ol'-man's lack-of-foresight.
There you go.
Gaylon is a backyard masterchef from Jensen Beach, Fla., and he is available for outdoor parties and can be reached at
or 701-456-1213. The views expressed herein are his, but true.