The Big Read: Let’s have a frank conversation about death | Commentary
Talking about aging and dying can seem “unpleasant,” but it is one of the most important conversations you can have.
Too often, family members are put in difficult positions of struggling to make care decisions for an aging parent, spouse or other relative. What would Mom want? What is best for Dad? Would she want a Do Not Resuscitate? Is Dad able to make decisions right now?
It is much better to discuss and document the values and wishes of loved ones before there is a crisis. Though sometimes difficult, such conversations can reduce stress and anxiety on everyone.
The Wichita Public Library’s NEA Big Read is putting a spotlight on this important topic. The annual program encourages Wichita residents to read and discuss the same book. This year’s book is “Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant?” by cartoonist Roz Chast.
The award-winning graphic memoir tells the story of Chast’s parents’ final years through cartoons, family photos and prose. It is both a funny and poignant look at aging and loss.
As part of the Big Read, a panel of local physicians will discuss some of the topics raised in the book, including caring for elderly parents, dementia and end-of-life planning.
The one-hour Zoom event, which is open to everyone and sponsored by the Wichita State University College of Health Professions and the Medical Society of Sedgwick County, will occur at 10 a.m. Saturday. You can register with WSU at https://tinyurl.com/yjypwuf9.
The panelists are Steven Davis, a board-certified family physician; Donna Ewy, a family physician trained in hospice and palliative medicine; and Barbara Coats, a retired family physician and educator. Suzanne Perez of KMUW and I will co-moderate the discussion.
One of the issues the panelists will discuss is advance directives, such as a durable power of attorney or living will. Another tool that I’ve been involved with for many years is Transportable Physician Orders for Patient Preferences.
This form documents the treatment wishes of patients at the end of life. It must be completed by a physician or health care provider during a discussion about the patient’s preferences and medical instructions.
TPOPP forms are available at the Medical Society of Sedgwick County, 1102 S. Hillside, or from chaplains at our local hospitals. You can also ask your physician about the form.
Other Big Read events include book reviews, film screenings and training on fraud prevention.
The keynote event is a public lecture by Chast at 6 p.m. April 15 at the WSU Hughes Metropolitan Complex, 5015 E. 29th St. North. She will share about her work as a cartoonist and author.
A full list of Big Read events is available at wichitalibrary.org/bigread.
According to Chast, it was against her parents’ principles to talk about death. They also never talked about “the future.”
That’s not unusual. Many people are reluctant to talk about aging and death. They may be uncomfortable bringing up the topics, or they don’t want family members to worry.
But as Benjamin Franklin noted, ”Death is one of the few certainties in life. Ignoring it doesn’t keep it from happening and can make it harder on yourself and others.”
Carolyn Harrison of Wichita is a retired nurse and educator.
