Big shot State House reporter misses out on exclusive during Walmart grand opening
Back in the last century, for four months out of every year, I was the bureau chief covering the General Assembly in Annapolis. Seeing as how it was a bureau of one, I was also the bureau Indian, but never mind.
Since it was a part-time legislature, that left another eight months out of every year in which editors tried to figure out something to do with me. They settled on “business reporter” by default because it was a beat no one else wanted, largely because we were in a recession and there was very little happening on the business front.
So when President (H.W.) Bush came to Frederick to buy socks — thereby setting the example that everyone should go out and shop — I got the call. I also got the call when a new Walmart opened in Western Maryland, which was more or less a glorified ribbon cutting.
Per my own personal journalistic policy, I did zero research prior on the company. I knew of Walmart, but it was still largely a regional company, with sales that trailed the behemoths like Kmart and Sears.
Walmart invited the community to the grand opening and the community, being largely unemployed at the time and having nothing better to do, showed up.
There were 100 or more folding metal chairs set up in front of a temporary stage, and a lot of bunting and decorations and a legion of blue shirted employees and white-shirted brass wandering about.
When I arrived the chairs were largely filled, but there was one open seat about halfway back at the end of a row near a pallet of air conditioners. The old guy sitting next to me was wearing dungarees and work boots, possibly a retiree from one of the great industrial titans of Mack Trucks or Fairchild, which had been mostly or entirely done in by the economy and outsourcing.
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It was kind of sad, really, that our economic fortunes had gone from trucks and planes to cheap sneakers and Spandex. The old man was dutifully wearing one of the cheesy Walmart baseball caps they’d been handing out at the door (the way they plop a party hat on the dome a helpless person turning 100 at the home), which almost made me want to cry. I tried to make him feel maybe a little better by confessing that I myself was an important State House reporter reduced to covering garbage like this.
Looking around the cavernous interior, I asked him what he thought of Walmart. He said he thought it was OK, but he was more interested in talking about sports, and it was easy to see why.
By now a parade of overly amped speakers talked about the wonders of Walmart with that air of artificial excitement people get when the message they’ve been instructed to deliver generally doesn’t match boots-on-the-ground reality. Presently, the new manager of the joint announced a “special guest” was about to speak, because Sam Walton himself was waiting in the wings, having come all the way from Arkansas to be part of the festivities.
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So of course the old guy next to me stands up, excuses himself and walks to the podium where after a few perfunctory remarks he proceeds to lead his “associates” in a bunch of dopey Walmart cheers.
I had been sitting next to The Man himself for 20 minutes, and our conversation never made it beyond bass fishing. Even I would have fired me.
I only remembered this because now, according to The Washington Post, certain Walmarts now feature a scary-realistic hologram of the long-dead founder, which can interact with customers and can actually answer questions that are put to him.
I’m going to find one of those hologram Walmarts. And the first thing I’ll ask is, “Why didn’t you TELL me you were Sam Walton?”
Tim Rowland is a Herald-Mail columnist.
This article originally appeared on The Herald-Mail: Walmart founder Sam Walton hologram sparks columnist's memory
