Big Ten football Misery Index: Michigan and MSU's Heisman contenders aren't who you think

Nearly every Big Ten football program would like to push a Heisman Trophy contender forward at this time of year.

Granted, a few are more obvious than others, like Illinois’ Chase Brown, who had coach Bret Bielema stumping for him after the former Western Michigan running back piled up 180 yards on 41 carries Saturday afternoon in Champaign: “If there’s a better player in college football who has had an effect on his program,” Bielema told reporters, “I’d like to know who it is.”

(Pay no attention to those fellers who squared off in Knoxville, eh, coach? Guess it was a rough week for C.J. Stroud to take a breather in Columbus, too.)

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Meanwhile, over in Ann Arbor, Blake Corum’s campaign is starting to pick up steam after his fourth straight 100-yard game. (Though Donovan Edwards plowing through the Nittany Lions for even more yards Saturday would seem to make a Heisman argument for the Wolverines’ offensive line.)

And, of course, on the day the Wolverines honored their 1997 national title team and Charles Woodson — aka the only defensive player to win the Heisman — the Spartans had their own defensive stud unleashed, as edge rusher/linebacker/bad bad man Jacoby Windmon took on some unsuspecting Badgers. Sort of a slow afternoon for Windmon: 11 tackles, two tackles-for-loss, a forced fumble and an interception. (Though the returns of Jacob Slade and Xavier Henderson — even in part-time work — sure seemed to fix a lot of what ailed MSU’s defense.)

Actually, the guy doing his best “Mr. Everything” impression was back on the offensive side of things for the Spartans: Wide receiver Jayden Reed caught the winning touchdown in double-overtime, threw for one in the first OT, faked an end-around that freed up tight end Malik Carr for a 72-yard gain and returned a punt for another TD (though that one was nixed on a block in the back). We think he used halftime to give Tom Izzo’s squad some pointers on zone defense, too.

Even Saturday’s losers made some Heisman noise: Mohammed Ibrahim picked up 127 yards on the ground for the Gophers in Champaign. It was his 14th straight game with at least 100 yards rushing though, thanks to injuries, the streak dates all the way back to Minnesota’s Outback Bowl appearance to wrap up the 2019 season.

Shoot, even Rutgers has … Johnny Langan? OK, maybe we’re stretching here, but the tight end and occasional QB is 2-for-2 passing for 43 yards and a touchdown, for a 445.6 passer rating. And Iowa has … er, we might have to get back to you on that. (We’re pretty sure it’s not backup QB Alex Padilla, though, at least according to son-of-Kirk/offensive coordinator Brian Ferentz, who dismissed a question about a QB change with “What would be the upside?”)

But while we try to figure out the upside of changing QBs on a team with two touchdowns through the air — that’s just one more than the Hawkeyes defense, if you’re one of the few still keeping score at Iowa games — let’s run through the Big Ten misery index, from least miserable to most in Week 7:

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14.Michigan: W, 41-17, over Penn State

Record: 7-0, 4-0 Big Ten. Last week’s ranking: 11.

Sure, that win over the Nittany Lions was impressive, but the Wolverines aren’t getting too cocky. “There’s still things that keep us humble,” coach Jim Harbaugh said. Like the SEC, we guess, and Mel Tucker.

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13. Illinois: W, 26-14, over Minnesota

Record: 6-1, 3-1. Last week: 12.

QB completing nearly 80% of his passes. Running back rushing for nearly 200 yards. Defense allowing less than 200 yards. About the only way Bret Bielema’s Illini could get more Wisconsin is if they start offering cheese curds and cans of Miller High Life to opponents after every first down.

12. Michigan State: W, 34-28 (2 OT), over Wisconsin

Record: 3-4, 1-3. Last week: 4.

Reed on his TD pass in OT: “The funny thing is we weren't able to get the play to work in practice, but he (Coach Tucker) called it in the game so we had to make a play and that's what Keon (Coleman) does.”

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11. Ohio State: DNP

Record: 6-0, 3-0. Last week: 13.

Back-to-back noon starts against Iowa and Penn State means it’s Columbus’ turn to host Joel Klatt. Sorry, Ann Arbor, you had a good run.

T-9. Iowa: DNP

Record: 3-3, 1-2. Last week: 1.

T-9. Northwestern: DNP

Record: 1-5, 1-2. Last week: 2.

No touchdowns allowed or scored — you call it a bye week, but the Hawkeyes and Wildcats call it perfection.

8. Maryland: W, 38-33, over Indiana

Record: 5-2, 2-2. Last week: 3.

Backup QB Billy Edwards Jr. — after starter Taulia Tagovailoa was carted off in the fourth quarter — led the Terps to two touchdowns against the Hoosiers without completing a pass, making him the most successful “Junior” on the ground in Indiana since Al Unser.

7. Rutgers: DNP

Record: 3-3, 0-3. Last week: 7.

Fired offensive coordinator Sean Gleeson will make about $1.5 million over the next 1½ years to not watch the Scarlet Knights, which seems unfair considering how many folks are not watching them for free.

6. Nebraska: L, 43-37, to Purdue

Record: 3-4, 2-2. Last week: 9.

The Huskers of Corn celebrated the 25th anniversary of their last national championship by having a non-running back lead them in rushing. Sure, wide receiver Trey Palmer only needed one run to do it, but it’s the thought that counts.

5. Purdue: W, 43-37, over Nebraska

Record: 5-2, 3-1. Last week: 10.

Last time we saw somebody give up that much ground to the Huskers of Corn, they were passing the Kansas-Nebraska Act. Then again, even Stephen Douglas played a little defense, Jeff Brohm.

4. Minnesota: L, 26-14, to Illinois

Record: 4-2, 1-2. Last week: 6.

We make jokes about P.J. Fleck's tenure at Minnesota, but in his defense, when he started in Row-The-Boat-Land, “6-for-18” was actually a good deal at Taco Bell.

3. Penn State: L, 41-17, to Michigan

Record: 5-1, 2-1. Last week: 5.

Awfully nice of the visitors to make sure Michiganders got their fill of Lions getting gashed on defense while the Honolulu Blue take the weekend off.

2 Wisconsin: L, 34-28 (2 OT), to Michigan State

Record: 3-4, 1-3. Last week: 14.

Pretty sure Paul Chryst coulda lost to the Spartans, too.

1. Indiana: L, 38-33, to Maryland

Record: 3-4, 1-3. Last week: 8.

Honestly, the first draft of these rankings had the Hoosiers at only No. 3. But, hey, becoming the first college football program with 700 losses doesn’t happen every week. (Even if, y’know, it feels like it does in Bloomington.)

To put that in perspective: Ohio State, which has 329 losses in program history, would need to go 0-12 for the next 31 seasons to hit the 700 club. Then again, a few 0-12 seasons for the Buckeyes and the Big Ten would probably waive those pesky win requirements for bowls anyway.

2022 BIG TEN MISERY INDEX

WEEK 0:Michigan puts off the pain at least till Week 3

WEEK 1:The gospel of Michigan QB requirements

WEEK 2:Michigan football, Michigan State prove savvy shoppers

WEEK 3:Dog-eat-dog games for Michigan football, MSU

WEEK 4:Paying tribute to past coaches

WEEK 5:Who's afraid of ghosts? Not Michigan football

WEEK 6:Michigan State football still working on its reinvention

Contact Ryan Ford at rford@freepress.com. Follow him on Twitter @theford.

This article originally appeared on Detroit Free Press: Big Ten football Misery Index: Michigan, MSU's Heisman contenders